mdiver said:

Um, I have been in relationships. My last one for 5 years. I communicated always and it fell on deaf ears. So the failure of a relationship can rest on one person.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

We have a saying in management "if you try everything with an employee and nothing appears to work, then the recruitment process was wrong"

mdiver said:

I'm assuming you've paid attention to my articles and that I am taking responsibility for my choices and am working to correct what is wrong on my selection process. still, I went to the ends of the earth and it was not reciprocated.

I believe he said that he attempted to talk things out, to work things out - to no avail. Nothing changed, no compromise was made.

One person tries to work things out, the other person doesn't...and still they are BOTH at fault for the relationship failing????

I don't think so.

As for the comments about people who have not been through a divorce not really understanding....ya, that's total bs.

JustErin said:

.
I agree with you on this one. Can you post another "fuck up Vid?"



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mdiver said:

I'm assuming you've paid attention to my articles and that I am taking responsibility for my choices and am working to correct what is wrong on my selection process. still, I went to the ends of the earth and it was not reciprocated.

I believe he said that he attempted to talk things out, to work things out - to no avail. Nothing changed, no compromise was made.

One person tries to work things out, the other person doesn't...and still they are BOTH at fault for the relationship failing????

I don't think so.

As for the comments about people who have not been through a divorce not really understanding....ya, that's total bs.

JustErin said:

#1 Nice jump Erin, no one said that
#2 Trying to work things out is one thing, how you got there is another.

mdiver said:

No one said what?

I clearly saw it said that both are always at fault. Did I not?

In a case like this where one person suddenly changes and is unwilling to compromise has nothing to do with how they got there and certainly doesn't automatically mean that the person changed because of their partner.

Again, BOTH are not always at fault. One person can completely ruin a relationship.

mdiver said:

No one said what?

I clearly saw it said that both are always at fault. Did I not?

In a case like this where one person suddenly changes and is unwilling to compromise has nothing to do with how they got there and certainly doesn't automatically mean that the person changed because of their partner.

Again, BOTH are not always at fault. One person can completely ruin a relationship.

JustErin said:

I think that post was deleted

JustErin said:

I don't agree with you on any level, but you are entitled to how you feel. I think you are wrong , but you are entitled to your feelings.

mdiver said:

Thanks for allowing me and letting me know that I am entitled to my feelings!

JustErin said:

You know what i mean, i have no wish to disagree with you, who the hell am i gonna send cake to if we fall out

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You "assume" i have read your posts You really don't get it do you Richard?

We are our own worst enemies. We know the truth about ourselves and sometimes that truth aint too pretty. We know our true motivations and the things that drive us. When you look at your failings honestly, you can understand why you make the choices you make. Understanding leads to responsibility and being responsible for our choices and actions is the key to taking true ownership of our future. I'm not even coaching this in morality or God but choice is choice and choices have consequences as we all know.

One thing that I had to face about my past is that I chose to be in that relationship. Now I understand that I made the choices I made because I wasn't a whole person, a healed person and in many ways I didn't know better. But I do now. Rightly or wrongly, understanding why I chose to stay in that realationship went a long long way in helping me to face those failings and to know how not to choose that road in the future.

Nobody but you knows the inner workings of your mind and soul. Nobody but you knows your darkest moments and your lowest lows. Those things can be like ghosts, they can haunt us. Coming into knowledge of ourselves, which is what you are doing by being honest about the state of your feelings, and is the key to banishing those things that haunt us and keep us down. Before you can ever grace someone else with forgiveness, you have to grace yourself.

Just face the facts, JustErin is right

You certainly don't. Well I can understand why you wouldn't read the things I write but this is what I wrote regarding my responsibility in my abusive relationship:



I am very well aware, as Val said, about looking in the mirror. All I'm telling you is that my last relationship started off like gangbusters and slowly died because my boyfriend stopped being who he was when we met. I could have settled and continued a relationship where my primary role was his get off but that wasn't what I wanted. I thought we had more and felt we could have had more had he not become incredibly selfish while I practically gave life and limb to keep things alive.

Just face the facts, JustErin is right

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

As usual!!

But again I think this boils down to some people just not comprehending that their experience does not always apply to everyone else.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

And i would be interested why?

JustErin said:

Oh i agree with you, absolutely, as i said above i think it comes down to how we are inside.
Not that anyone is RIGHT as such just how we deal and look at things. For each of us it is different, just the same as looking at a painting we can see different things and yet we look at the same thing.

JustErin said:

Oh i agree with you, absolutely, as i said above i think it comes down to how we are inside.
Not that anyone is RIGHT as such just how we deal and look at things. For each of us it is different, just the same as looking at a painting we can see different things and yet we look at the same thing.

am i wrong?