No sex during marriage is something I will never, never understand. Just like I will never understand people who do not live together before getting married.

Cinnie said:

Let's make out.

JustErin said:

You see, uh, I have this, erm, medical condition..

Stymie said:

Yes I agree with that as well.

Cinnie said:

Rejected!

Oh and I'm gonna have to see your dr.'s note.
[Edited 8/9/08 20:41pm]

JustErin said:

Well I for one do not think that living together before marriage is something that is for everybody. I personally don't feel that I could do that. I think living together defeats the purpose of marriage...and after you get married after living together then marriage is just a piece of paper. There's nothing to look forward really because you've already done it. I think living together shouldn't be a "mandatory" thing for people to do, but its different for everybody because it depends upon the persons involved. If you can't remain in love with me because I don't want to wash dishes everyday, then that means you don't think i'm marriage material? If you can't accept my everyday faults, (doing laundry once a week, wash dishes when I feel like it, or if I like to obsessively clean bathrooms everyday) and you have to live with me first before marriage to find out what they are to see if you can deal with them or not, then i'm not the one for you anyway.

Marrysharronsluvchild said:

Seriously, how does a woman go from the first 2 years of marriage on some "porn movie shit" to completely locking down her holes (to be explicit and perhaps offensive)?

Did they melt shut (I know, misogynist territory)?

Stymie said:

but on the flip side to that is what if the woman just doesn't know how to please her partner? like he could tell her what he wants her to do, but if she doesn't feel comfortable doing it, shouldn't he be patient enough to want to help her be comfortable with it first?

missfee said:

Oh wow.

Ok, cool. I don't understand that at all...but that's cool. I could never go into anything like that blind.

But then again, I think marriage is useless.

Wow, other people making decisions on how two people should decide on how to conduct their relationship. Deep.

JustErin said:

Well there ya go! That's why you feel the way you feel, marriage doesn't make a difference. But it does to me and thats why I feel the way I feel. I respect your position in what you are saying though. It makes no difference to me what people do as long as they aren't hurting anybody else.

says who?

Rightly said:

edit
[Edited 8/9/08 20:56pm]

missfee said:

Well, I guess it depends on if the guy knows you only do laundry once a week or wash dishes when you feel like it.

And to me, a marriage is just a piece of paper. Nothing will make that more than a document than the two people committed to each other.

I would love to live with someone first. I need to know if I could be around someone every day.

Stymie said:

Yeah.

Cinnie said:

I know this is rude and I will cop to being naive about a woman's libido. But I have never heard of such a medical condition that makes the lights switch off on a coochie..

Cinnie said:

The oly thing I know of is some women report losing some libido when a child is born. I don't believe that but hey.

i think when the marriage gets to the point that you are GOING to cheat, it's better to end the marriage and divorce rather than hide an affair, and hurt your spouse.

Stymie said:

Ya gotta call b.s. on some of this stuff. Make like a light truck and roll over!

Stymie said:

Hey man, I love sex - you know that, but when I was pregnant and for about 5-6 months after I had no sex drive at all. That's not a medical condition but that's definitely what I personally went though.

Luckily by that point I was single, so it didn't matter.

I wonder why cheating is the final straw for some...a relationship could have been dead for an extended amount of time but when one or the other cheats, that becomes the deal breaker...somebody explain to me how a complete lack of emotion/feeling for your partner is any less hurtful than cheating...doesn't make sense to me...

JustErin said:

If I lost my sex drive, I'd still find a way to please my partner.

missfee said:

Dear God, I can't believe I just read that in 2008! The marriage is not just the ceremony, or the excitement of moving in together. It's the day to day LIVING w/ & building a life w/ a mf. Marriage is a contract that's emotional, financial & spiritual. It's to be taken seriously & worked on constantly - it's meant to be for the rest of your life. So why in the world would anyone enter into something like that while leaving such a huge component (like LIVING with someone day in/day out) up to chance?? I'm not trying to change YOUR mind about it, but for me that is some insane shit. I wouldn't take a job without knowing what it entails, I wouldn't take on an assistant without knowing I could be around them for a # of hours a day - I damn sure wouldn't bind myself to someone for life without knowing that we could coexist in harmony first. It's just goofy & based on fantasy, what you hope shit will be like instead of finding out what's really up. There's no way in hell there's "nothing to look forward to" after moving in together, unless moving in is the SOLE reason you're getting married, which would be even more goofy.

How does solidifying your bond w/ the one you love give you "nothing to look forward to"?? I don't get it.

this forum makes me terrified to ever be married, even though i want to be.

CalhounSq said:

I love your ass.

evenstar3 said:

The Org scared me off marriage forever.

Stymie said:

Ya, I would too...but that wouldn't take away from the fact that I lost my sex drive.

Stymie said:

Hey girlie Not only that, I wouldn't live w/ a mf unless we'd dated for a minimum of 2 years. It takes a long time to get to really know a person, no way I'd bind myself w/o knowing all I could - about him & about myself. The shit is just necessary


.
[Edited 8/9/08 21:20pm]

roodboi said:

I agree.

Marrysharronsluvchild said:

Imagine how this lowers relationship morale! I would be going to counseling too, for my own self-esteem if I was getting rebuffed like that.

Mysterioso said:

Eddie is a funny mofo