Oh yeah, quit your job that pays so well you owe thousands of dollars in debt.

Maybe she can take this 150k go to school to work on a career and pay her debt off.


[Edited 7/23/08 14:41pm]

Slave2daGroove said:

You just summed this whole case up.

Slave2daGroove said:

Stymie said:

I couldn't agree more. And I'm one who seriously doubts that I'd ever marry. But I couldn't agree with you more. I have had the example of all types of married couples. I've known folks who were broke as a joke, folks who married under the 'ideal' circumstance of having money and being upwardly mobile to everything in-between and I've seen their individual struggles amidst it all. And the one thing I feel absolutely certain of relative to marriage is that if you don't do it for love, you are out of your fucking mind.

If you don't marry that person because you are head over heels in love and can't imagine another day without that person by your side, you are putting yourself behind the 8-ball from jump. If that love happens to come with financial stability then that's wonderful, but love has to be first.

I have a cousin who used to always say that she'd never marry a man who was achieving at a lesser rate in life than she was. She wanted a man who was at least bringing the same things to the table that she was. I disagreed with that stance, because as I said above, I think love has to come first and foremost. But I think it's at least a fair consideration. At least she's not suggesting anyone take care of her or provide her with something she can't go out and get on her own. So she married with that consideration first and has endured for over 10 years now, the most turbulent, difficult marriage anyone could ever imagine. And she stays in it for the same reasons she initiated it and none of it makes sense to me.

Marriage has to be about love first.

Graycap23 said:

Boo-hoo-hoo, cry me a muthaphuckin' river. What's she doing with so much debt? Sounds like a person with no money-sense. Bad job by the jury.

Dude was smart. My cousin would be better off financially if he did the same thing. His wife brought serious debt to the marriage he didn't know about(she lied about her finances), and guess who got stuck with the bill. They're divorced, but he moved in with his sister and has to start all over again(in his mid-40s).

As SCNDLS said, before y'all walk that aisle, KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH!

violator said:

But even those that marry for love end up in divorce court after the love is gone. At that point, most divorcing couples are not interested in doing what's right or fair when it comes to resolving financial issues. And depending on what's transpired since they were all in love and shit, they are now trynta hit each other where it hurts, usually in the wallet. So do the prenup amidst the love and hope you don't need it. But in the event that you do, the resolution of pre-marriage assets is one less thing you gotta deal with.

SCNDLS said:

These days, the attitude seems to be, "the marriage didn't work out, so f-ck you, pay me!"

Graycap23 said:

Okay, but this part right here, shows me he was a punk ass muthafucka anyway. Yeah, he's got EVERY right to cancel the wedding but by leaving a note in the bathroom??? WTF???? He shoulda done that face to face especially since they lived together. No wonder she sued him, that was just payback for him pulling a bitch move.
[Edited 7/23/08 14:53pm]

SCNDLS said:

True. They just generally seem to have a better shot at avoiding the divorce court than those who put other concerns first. But, again, I agree with being fiscally responsible in the process of marriage.