psychodelicide said:

I hear you Psychodelicide.

In my last relationship I had a saying "Either come correct or you don't come, at all." WHAT!!!

I get shit alllll the time for being single. I've never been the type of girl who HAD to have a boyfriend. I can entertain myself just fine and when I can't anymore I have friends to do it for me.

I get sick and tired of people asking if I'm "seeing anyone special yet"...it's bullshit. My mom's friend asked me the other night with my mom next to her. I said I see a lot of people, just no one that special. When my step mother asks if I have a boyfriend yet, I tell her I have a few of them and they are on heavy rotation. What is so wrong with being single? I get sooo aggravated over this!!

Boriqua1130 said:

I like that saying!

Oh don't u love the games: your gaining a little weight, I am not feeling you, it's just me, what the fuck ever!! Keep it moving dude!!

I had a dude tell me I had gained some weight and he wouldn't talk to me now. Mind you this is somebody I knew before in my 20's and I told him me had a fun-sized Snickers dick and I didn't want to be bothered anyways!! He shut up and walked away real quick!!!

What's up with people being afraid to be single? Why do people literally pull their hair out because they are going insane of singlehood? Why do people assume everyone wants a romantic companion? I'm asking this because...

A friend said something to me that pissed me off. Everyone once in a while he would ask me if I was seeing anyone or interested in anyone as if I wouldn't tell him if was (which I wouldn't). He proceeded to tell me how he met his boyfriend. They met at a stoplight. That's right, a stoplight. He said he was stopped at the light and his friend said "that guy is fine." My friend looked at the guy, rolled down his window (after being persuaded) and motioned for the guy to roll down his window. He told him "Hi. I think you're hot" and the guy replied "I think you're hot too." I don't remember how they exchanged numbers, but they did. They've been together for 3 years now

So I said "Wow, you hit on somebody at a stoplight?! Unbelievable." Then, he said "Well, you have to put yourself out there if you're going to meet anybody. You won't meet anybody if you don't put yourself out there." I took a moment to figure out who the fuck he thought he was talking to and then said "There's a difference between putting yourself out there by socializing and hitting on someone at a stoplight." He said prior to that, he had been praying to God to send him someone. Really, is it that serious? I was upset that he would assume I wanted to be with someone and wanted to preach to me about how to do it. Sorry dude, but I'm in the mood to yell across the car window hoping someone will memorize my number before the light changes

funkyslsistah said:

Sometimes I get lonely but then I remember that some of my friends are miserable in their relationships. Fuck the drama. I think some people end up settling instead of finding the person that's right for them.

The "Dinosaur" Speaketh...

Okay, if one more person looks at me crazy when I say I'm single, I'm going to scream...
Recently, I've been running into folks to whom I haven't spoken in ages due to my crazy school/work load. This includes a fellow who expressed interest...now, I don't really have time for dating now, but figured it'd be cool to talk every so often. HOWEVER, when our 'romantic history' came up & the conversation came to me, he seemed a tad judgmental about the fact that:
No, I have never been engaged;
No, I have never been married; and
NO, I do not have any kids!
With random people in general, I get this 'what's wrong with you?' reaction when this comes up. My issue? People intrusively embark on this multiple question harange, which gets extremely limited response from me, and their stricken reaction bewilders me. I never give explanations because - quite frankly - it's none of your business 'why'; it's also none of mine, which is why I don't ask people those questions. Our life stories are too divergent & complex to sum up with our marital or parental status. N'est pas?
Second, WHY do people approach being a happily unattached woman after a certain age like she's somehow deficient, defective, or in some sort of 'sad' state? It's frustrating, especially since MEN can choose up to their 40s & 50s to remain in the bliss of bachelorhood, be career-oriented, then focus on family if they so desire. And no one blinks twice. Why the double standard? How can one compliment my academic accomplishments one second, then pass judgment on my personal status the next - & what is there to judge? The fact that I, unlike some, don't have a failed or unhappy marriage under my belt? Why is that 'bad' again?
I've had some fabulous relationships w/ wonderful people that simply didn't go there - thankfully! And, in truth, I could've married years ago - it would've been loveless & emotionally unfulfilling, but I wouldn't have a material care in the world. Working three jobs as a grad student, as I do now, wouldn't have factored into my life equation. What a miserable, socially-acceptable life I could've had...
For some people, life is defined by marriage & kids. Understandable, but there's also a balance - true satisfaction in life is derived from myriad sources, unique to each person. Certainly, those are things that I want in my future, but I'm pursuing a career that I want & enjoying life as it is.
When I go back home and run into folks - women, mostly - do you know what their 1st inquiry is, 9 times out of 10, immediately following the obligatory "Hey, how are you?"? Wait for it - it's:
"How many kids you got now? What do you mean 'none'? Girl, what are you waiting for? You don't have much longer - oh - you don't want kids, huh? Yeah, you've always been all about your career and stuff."
Ugh. Seriously?
So, I just want to say this: Women today have this awesome new social invention called "choice". We choose to marry - at young, old, or in-between ages - and be stay-at-home moms. Or, to pursue degrees & careers while being wives and mothers. Or, to live the fabulous bachelorette life until whenever. We can be single mothers by choice or by unexpected blessing. And so on. Men have always had these choices, and it's a new day and age for us womenfolk.
In short, I'm perfectly happy going home to my own uninterrupted space; I am fulfilled by the wonderful people in my close-knit circle, & I revel in my independence and accomplishments. When so desired or when time allows, I enjoy sampling the ample dating pool at my behest. None of these things make me the unlovable, frigid, infertile, socially-inept dinosaur that some folks imply by their silent befudled expressions and subsequently intrusive 'why come?' inquiries. So, anyone who thinks otherwise, talk about something else.
And...scene.
(Thanks for reading my tirade!)

Boriqua1130 said:

Me too. I don't put up with any shit from guys. Life is too short to put up with bullshit.

psychodelicide said:

My cohones show every now & then!

psychodelicide said:

I dont put up with any BS from men either that is why I pay MY bills and have a full time job and support my own kid. THey dont like it they can F* off and get on down the road.And if they are in my home I tell them" There is the door dont let the door hit you where your creator split you"

Edited to say : I dont even take that crap from my own father he knows when he visits in my home its my rules NOT HIS!
[Edited 7/14/08 17:31pm]

Jan I really feel you on this one!! People treat singledome like a disease or something!! Why should I settle for someone who can't add nothing to my life or happiness?? I mean really.

And most females I know have been in an abusive relationship one way or another, no thank you I will pass on the drama. I am accomplished more as a single person that with someone.

I wonder why the people who are afraid of being single haven't posted I know there is more of them than those who are not

CarrieLee said:

you not single, you're just a player.

magnificentsynthesizer said:

Not true!

CarrieLee said:

Naw, Carrie. Those Chanels tell a different story.

I know this burden well. All too well.

I was asked, just yesterday: "Why haven't you ever been married?" I think single men receive just as much scrutiny as women, especially men who want to be married.

A cousin of mine who's a lot like my big sister routinely has this question, when I say I'm about to hit the movies: "Who are you going with?" I give her my standard response: "Nine times out of 10, I hit the movies by myself."

It's tough being someone folks thought would have been married 10 years ago, seeing exes build their own families and seeing buddies do the same while it seems my deal is a perpetual romantic comedy.

Not fun.

ThreadBare said:

Your burden is different than the majority of us who have posted about this

Janfriend said:

How so?

ThreadBare said:

I believe you stated you wanted to be married, no?

Janfriend said:

Oops. My bad. but you did ask why people who didn't want to be single weren't posting...
[Edited 7/14/08 20:38pm]

Okay, usually I'm a champion of single-girl power, but lately I must admit I've been feeling pretty envious of those who are "bunned up"

This is the first time in yearss when all of my close friends are in relationships...and they are all so happy and in love (well, like ) and lately I've just been really lonely to be honest
I took the summer off school, and I'm on vacation from work (I teach) so I find myself spending alot of time daydreaming about having a special someone to do things with

But alas, Im insanely shy and have alot of trouble meeting the guys I like so I guess Im just used to this feeling and getting to be a bit numb....just times like this really make me yearn to feel loved





.....ok, my corny rant is over

ThreadBare said:

Oh yeas, I did sorry. I didn't realize you were responding to that request. I thought you were responding to my initial post

So, why do you hate being single?

thekidsgirl said:

Seek a therapist to help you with this, especially the shyness, before you get depressed

Janfriend said:

well I'm not leaping off a cliff yet , I mean I do get lonely alot, but I've been using this time to work on myself and kill some of my insecurties

thekidsgirl said:

Trust me, you don't want to wait until you on the edge of a cliff to get some therapy

Janfriend said:

deciding to go into therapy is a very personal decision. A decision that one cannot make for another.