What's up with people being afraid to be single? Why do people literally pull their hair out because they are going insane of singlehood? Why do people assume everyone wants a romantic companion? I'm asking this because...

A friend said something to me that pissed me off. Everyone once in a while he would ask me if I was seeing anyone or interested in anyone as if I wouldn't tell him if was (which I wouldn't). He proceeded to tell me how he met his boyfriend. They met at a stoplight. That's right, a stoplight. He said he was stopped at the light and his friend said "that guy is fine." My friend looked at the guy, rolled down his window (after being persuaded) and motioned for the guy to roll down his window. He told him "Hi. I think you're hot" and the guy replied "I think you're hot too." I don't remember how they exchanged numbers, but they did. They've been together for 3 years now

So I said "Wow, you hit on somebody at a stoplight?! Unbelievable." Then, he said "Well, you have to put yourself out there if you're going to meet anybody. You won't meet anybody if you don't put yourself out there." I took a moment to figure out who the fuck he thought he was talking to and then said "There's a difference between putting yourself out there by socializing and hitting on someone at a stoplight." He said prior to that, he had been praying to God to send him someone. Really, is it that serious? I was upset that he would assume I wanted to be with someone and wanted to preach to me about how to do it. Sorry dude, but I'm in the mood to yell across the car window hoping someone will memorize my number before the light changes

who cares how you meet someone as long as the relationship makes you happy?

evenstar3 said:

Hi. I think you're hot

I'm too corny to give a fuck, really. That's no offense to the person who posted this topic. Just how I feel right about now.

PANDURITO said:

I met my partner of 23 yrs now - in the middle of a small country town road

Yep, that right

We met in the street

23 yrs later he is still my best friend and incredible lover

Your friend meeting his boyfried at a stop light pissed you off?

evenstar3 said:

That wasn't even the point. I don't care how they met, I just couldn't do it and he preceeded to preach to me that I needed to do something like that to meet someone assuming I wanted that. I'm happy the way I am. I can't stand people who assume everyone wants to be with someone and counsels them on how to do it. That's what I'm pissed about

JustErin said:

No. That's not what I said

Janfriend said:

So did you share those thoughts with your friend so they know ?

Janfriend said:

Oh ok, the way you told your story it looks like you were pissed off at how he met his boyfriend.

You are just pissed off that he asks if you're seeing someone every now and then?

I agree with you Janfriend. I've been taking notes on how folks handle relationships and singlehood. Being single is no problem for me, I've been single more than with someone. It doesn't mean I don't want a special someone, but I'm not willing to take just anything that crosses my path. I've seen how some people are always looking for the next relationship in order to get over the old one, which they never really do. It's ok to take a break or even a sabbatical.

Check this out and find solace in your choice:

http://quirkyalone.net/index.php

I have to say that I've never seen any adverse reaction from friends and family when hearing from me that I am single and have been for some time.

Nor has there been even further probing as to why I am single or want to be single.

I have had relationships and was married I must say I am so much happier being single then being with someone I also feel that is ones personal choice to be single not anothers choice, there is no law saying I have to be with another person to be happy . So Im doing what makes ME and only ME happy. I love being a single mom(yes it is hard at time but then so is life in general) I love going where ever I want anytime I want without needing the report in to another deal, and I KNOW where all my money goes in my account, and noone to back talk or pick a fight with over the petty of things.

Everyone is different.

toots said:

Mach said:

Well, yes, here and there. I remember telling him with all the things going on in my life, I lacked the desire to "search" for anyone. I think he thinks that things will change over time and that's why he keeps asking me. We don't speak (verbally) that often and it's only when we speak verbally that he asks this. I just think he should back off and if I have news like that, I will let him know

Another friend did the same thing. She asked if I was seeing anybody and her response to my "no" was "Oh. I guess some people like being single "

JustErin said:

Not so much that, even though it's annoying. It's just the assumption that I'm not single by choice and I MUST want someone. He once told me that I should be with someone and that person should be REALLY attractive . Fine was the word he used. I've also had people respond with "why?" when I say I'm single

funkyslsistah said:

Sometimes I get lonely but then I remember that some of my friends are miserable in their relationships. Fuck the drama. I think some people end up settling instead of finding the person that's right for them.

Stymie said:

Exactly! I have seen it happen too many times where somebody will get married, just because they "don't want to be alone". Those types of marriages never last, or if they do, the people involved are not happy.

I love being single, and I don't need a man to make me happy. If I find a guy, great, if not, I'm not going to get upset over it. It just is not worth it to me.

Stymie said:

I totally agree with you.

But in the past while, I dunno why...I seriously never feel lonely at all these days. I don't even think about not having a boyfriend.

In the past...I thought about it every time I was single.

JustErin said:

When it bothers me, it only bothers me for a moment then I can just think of one of ten couples I know and I'm all better.

Most days, I am happy to walk in, fix the kids dinner, take a bath and bask in the solitude of my bedroom.

I get shit alllll the time for being single. I've never been the type of girl who HAD to have a boyfriend. I can entertain myself just fine and when I can't anymore I have friends to do it for me.

I get sick and tired of people asking if I'm "seeing anyone special yet"...it's bullshit. My mom's friend asked me the other night with my mom next to her. I said I see a lot of people, just no one that special. When my step mother asks if I have a boyfriend yet, I tell her I have a few of them and they are on heavy rotation. What is so wrong with being single? I get sooo aggravated over this!!

I always find it wierd too that people in relationships think that just because you yourself are not in a relationship, that you can't possibly be happy. I admit, when I during my on-again/off-again disastership whenever I was "off again" dining alone felt strange--even though I dined alone when I was "on again" about as much, it felt more like I was being watched when I was single

But I guess the awkwardness is also a bit strange from the couple's point of view. For example, if there's a gather of couples and you have a single person there or a few singles around, you always want to be careful not to alienate them with 'couples' talk. Of course, not all couples are so sensative to that

And couples with kids who talk about nothing but their kids? lawd, hammerseee.


But yeah--why is it that people who are in relationships think that it's impossible for someone to be single and happy? I LOOOOOVEEEEE being in a relationship, no matter how strange or nonconventional it is , but I also loved being single--you can make anything work for you depending on where you are in life and what you're looking to get out of it at that time. Not everybody wants to house, picket fense, and poodle.

Jan I really feel you on this one!! People treat singledome like a disease or something!! Why should I settle for someone who can't add nothing to my life or happiness?? I mean really.

And most females I know have been in an abusive relationship one way or another, no thank you I will pass on the drama. I am accomplished more as a single person that with someone.

I love my freedom. Always have. Especially since I began to work (age: 16 1/2).
My divorced parents taught me that "I HAD to be married, in order for me to be okay financially."

I'm not against marriage. My threshold for bullcrap* is at an all time low. The moment a male starts any of these - I'M OUT!

(*false jealousy, meant for control, ghost acts, head games - "You're too fat" To which I reply "Where you blind when we met? Ya bastard!"
[Edited 7/16/08 8:30am]

I hear it a lot these days about being single and what am I going to do about it. This from the same people that have little positive to say about their present relationships. It got under my skin a little last week and I shot back with what so I can be miserable like you? I then felt bad of course and said it will find me in time. I personally believe the divorce rate is astronomical because folks settle out of need to be paired for a multitude of bad reasons.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Totally agree.

Boriqua1130 said:

Me too. I don't put up with any shit from guys. Life is too short to put up with bullshit.

I rarely have negative reactions to my singleness, but once in a while things happen that kinda piss me off.

For example, yesterday a friend called me up to see if I wanted to walk Uptown to a block party for Bastille Day. Food, drinks, live music, gorgeous weather, it was the perfect afternoon distraction.
Minutes after arriving and finding a drink he pointed to the crowd and said, "OK, go find a boyfriend. They're everywhere and they're all cute so hop to it!"

I know he was partly kidding and his intentions were good, but it still kinda bugged me. I went to spend time with my friends, not walk around looking for a stranger to talk to.

psychodelicide said:

I hear you Psychodelicide.

In my last relationship I had a saying "Either come correct or you don't come, at all." WHAT!!!