What issues are the ones that make you say when you're getting to know someone you might want to date : "Hold it..... I can't go on with this".
For me there are certain turn-offs like smoking but one example is that recently I met a girl my age through the site Tagged (it's similar to Myspace and Facebook) because there's this app called "Meet Me" where you click the pic of someone and if he/she clicks also on your pic you have a match.
So anyway, things were going really well until she asked me if I have kids and whether I drink or smoke (I drink, no kids and definitely don't smoke). I asked her the same questions and she said: "I do all of this and I have two kids. That's the way bad girls like me are ". The deal-breaker for me is the whole "two kids" thing.
I'm 25 and I've never been in a relationship and trying to help with raising two kids that are not my own in my FIRST relationship would be WAY too much.
[Edited 6/5/08 12:47pm]

Definite deal breakers...

bad hygeine
bad attitude
non-openminded
drug user
no sense of humor

this would kill it .. right here ----> http://prince.org/msg/100/263731

1) Bad hygene

2) Excessive noise or cursing during conversation (combine the two and it's over).

3) Mean sense of humor. It's great for friends from time to time, but renders you remarkably unfuckable.

4) Exessive talking (especially if it's a woman).

5) Strong stances that are politically different from mine

6) Too young

7) Trying too hard to impress me (I can sense it when people do that and it's a turn off).

8) For women, too much hair, makeup, or 'gloss'. Nothing turns me off visually more than the Carmen Electra drag queen makeup look

9) Too prying. I *HATE* answering questions about myself , and the person I'm currently with is about the only person ever that I actually enjoy doing it with. But in general, don't pry into my inner thoughts.

10) Anyone who is rude to the waitress or waiter during a date--it doesn't matter how well we got along--It's over.

11) For men, anyone who lacks drive or motivation in their careers and life--if you're just coasting through life, at least pretend you want more.

12) For women, any woman who doesn't like children or brags (and I can't tell you how many times I've seen women brag) about not knowing how to cook. That's as tacky to me as men bragging about not doing yardwork, etc. etc. Yeah, sexist, but it's true.

13) Bad dancers who think they're good.

14) Hair scrunchies

15) Excessively slutty outfit. Big turn off. I don't like 'flashy' on a date.

Imago said:

This is about me, isn't it?

FunkMistress said:

no

You curse alot, but not excessively. And when you're mean, it's not really that bad.

You're more tough than mean. I thought you were a sweetheart.

And sexy like your hubby.

FunkMistress said:

Oh wait.

And you're not a bad dancer. You're very good actually.
You move rather.... sexually.

A shame you wasted that energy in a room full of girly men.

Imago said:

I AM a sweetheart!

I curse excessively though, let's be real. And dress like a slut sometimes. But my sexy-ass husband likes it!

Imago said:

I'm not allowed to go to lesbian clubs anymore.

Also:

Imago said:

Besides some physical shit:

- superficial
- lack of humor
- not knowing when to shut up
- staying mad longer than an hour
- goody-goody personality
[Edited 6/5/08 13:55pm]

FunkMistress said:

Ask Carrie.

They disturb me

Imago said:

I'm thinking of a particular context in which you expressed your disdain, and just

FunkMistress said:

OMG




I'm laughing my goddamned arse off right now

eikonoklastes said:

bingo

Imago said:

I don't want to know.












But I will tell you, Erin, it's the first thing he talked about when we met in the airport last year.

And he went on and on and on and on and on.

These IMHO is a real turn off to me:

*-poking fun at children including the one your starting to date(poking fun at their facial features)
-verbally abusive
-physically abusive
-drug user
-posessive
-insecure
-controlling

*-I had a man that did that to my child and it pissed me off severely ( I didnt see him again)

When I think of more Ill add

CarrieMpls said:

OMG, no I didn't!!

But you have to admit that woman had one of those colorful ones, and her hair did NOT benefit from the scrunchie (does hair EVER benefit from it). It was like watching a VH1 Interview with Blossom describing what it was like to be a child star after having come out of rehab or something.

Lawd. Maybe I did go on and on about it.

No sense of humor.

Possessiveness;
jealousy;
habitual liar;
cheaper-than-cheap taste for choice of restaurants, entertainment performances and so on;
neediness;
self-absorption;
poor communication and listening skills;
volatile temper with a tendency towards aggression; and
loves to make hostile jokes about loved ones.

smoking
kids
too much of a drinker
drug user
nagging/too talkative
too possessive
always late
bad hygeine
out of shape
lack of common sense
too religious
no sense of humor

hmmm....

* someone who's not done partying. ya know, you go do your thing and get trashed every night and stay out til god o'clock, snorting/drinking/smoking everything in sight. have a great time with all that. but please do not date me.

* someone who likes to talk WAY more than they like to listen. the cool thing about conversations is, you can say something, and when you're done, you can listen to what the other person has to say about your comment. or maybe they'll build on what you said and share some of their own thoughts, and then you can comment on what they said. or you might find you have things in common. or not. the possibilities are endless, really. but you will never enjoy those possibilities if you don't SHUT THE HELL UP and let the other person speak once in a while!!! rule of thumb: if you're on a date and you feel like you've been talking for over five minutes and all you can remember them saying is "uh-huh" or "okay", then you're ruining everything. SHUT THE MOUTH. let them talk. or at least, let their ears rest for a minute. all that yammering HURTS if someone's sitting there forced to listen to you for an entire evening. but really, it all comes down to this mantra: SHUT THE MOUTH.

* religious right/conservative christian/whateveryacallems. look, i'm not here to judge. believe in what you want. personally, i don't understand how someone can be both actively gay and a hyper-conservative fundamentalist christian. but they're out there. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. do your rallies and watch your jan crouch programs and vote for scary people all you like, if that's what nukes your hot pocket. just don't date me, please.

* people who say "that's weird" a lot. life is weird. the world is weird. sometimes the act of waking up is weird. i hate it when i talk about the things i enjoy - books, movies, music, whatever - and the person i'm on a date with wrinkles their nose and is all like, "ugh, that's WEIRD." fuck you. you're weird. don't date me.

* people who can't be present/comfortable one-on-one. i've been on dates where if the other person wasn't talking about how AWESOME their group of friends are, they're on their dumbass cell phones DURING THE DATE talking to their stupid ass friends. i was on one date where the idiot got on his cell and he was having me answer questions that his friend was asking him to ask me. that shit ain't cute, and i'm not interested in dating your circle of friends.

* extroverts. kind of like the above, but they always have to be "ON!" you know, like robin williams or something. there'd be a homicide if i tried to get with that kind of personality. sometimes you need to chill the hell out and give focus to other people for a change. i know. i ask too much. speaking of asking too much, please do not ask me out.



i'm glad i'm happily partnered.

purplehippieonthe1 said:

I think that would be the deal breaker for alot of people....my husband always tells me he doesn't have to worry about me leaving him cause no one else would want me with two kids ..the shit!!!

Ocean said:

He better watch it! He's got no idea!

thekidsgirl said:

This is my list as well but I would add:

smoker
uncreative
unintelligent
styless
completely selfish
Bible thumper
Prince hater
all around dickweed

Amaxx said:

Ocean said:

Maybe we should do a swap! Like that horrendous Show Wife Swap!

Deal breakers:

1. Coward
2. Dead beat.
3. Never knows what's going on.
4. Cheap- there's savings and then there is straight up CHEAP.
5. Stingy

I have a few deal-breakers but all of them are really ill defined. I guess this is something I should work on.

Anyway, here are my ill-defined deal breakers:

Is really obsessed/creepy about how I look: I've dealt with a few men who just think that I must be the most perfect human being in the world because they just are really into my physical appearance. It freaks me out and is far from the truth.

Is very possesive: That shit freaks me out.

Tries to convert me: Just don't.

Drug use: I used to think I could deal with light drug users but I can't. It's just not a part of my lifestyle and it's not something that I ever want to be incorporated into my life.

Hates animals: I'm going to be a veterinarian. I have two cats and will probably have a dog at some point. Hell, I like most animals more than I like most people.

And of course...

Is abusive, mean spirited, cold hearted, and/or uncaring: This should go without saying.


That was a very therapeutic exercise. I should probably print this post out and tape it to my bathroom mirror.
[Edited 6/5/08 18:14pm]