Oh god. You got lists. That's bad and an indication why you are on Org AND single.



I never know up front what is a deal breaker. I mean, I could limit myself to a lot, but I rather be open minded about this stuff.

Even though I understand about some of the things listed, like hygiene. But dayum, excessive talker? I talk when I am nervous. People who are broad minded enough to prick to that find a real nice person that can be quiet REAL good.
And at age 37 I cannot be too hard when it comes to age-ism; I just grab whatever comes along, be it 22 or 45. Fuck it. All of them!

A penis

Flo6 said:

Um. people are generally initially attracted to someone because of their looks. Then as you get to know the person you find out personality traits and that's when deal breakers come into play.

I'm also going to venture a guess that most of us do not even get close to the point of falling in love with them because those deal breakers usually come out really early in the getting to know you stage.

The idea that you close your eyes to everything when you do fall in love is ridiculous, imo anyway.

And the genetic altering comment is totally laughable.

after a consecutive strain of losers with a capital L i'm in a self imposed
dating lull right now and i've decided that i will no longer put up with any
of the following if i ever run into someone i'll consider dating:

* guys with an uber-ego (always finding fault with everyone xcept themselves)
* guys that can't talk about their feeling
* guys that can't express themselves in an argument other then acting like 5 yr old
* guys that play mind games, no matter how insignificant they may seem
* guys that, when watching tv can't stop saying "oh that boy is soooo cute/hot"
* guys that were never taught how to fucking clean up after themselves.
* guys that cheat (duh)
* guys that make off hand racial slurs and act like they're just jokes
* guys that are rude to women in general and waitresses in particular
* guys that are not out. like 30 yr olds that say "my mom would just die"
* guys that are divorced (with children)
* guys that say "i'm 100% top". puhlease i'm not your vessel to be filled bitch
* guys that try to change you 360 into some insane ideal they have. jeez, just go out and find someone who's a better fit
* guys that try to shove their c*ck up you at 6 am in the morning
* guys that drive tractors
* guys that think the crotch does not deserve any attention whilst bathing


oh i could go on and on but i think we've already established here that i will
never go out on another date for the rest of my life with these criteria

mdiver said:

Sorry.

HamsterHuey said:

That is ok....apart from that you are sooooo my type Love ya man

mdiver said:

I know you love hairy arses.

IstenSzek said:

yeah those 2 things make me bristle, I TOTALLY HATE that

HamsterHuey said:

And studded belts

mdiver said:

non. My ass likes studded belts. Yummie.

JustErin said:

When I fall in love with somebody I am totally attracted to that person immediately. I have no idea what political opinion he has and things of that matter in the first seconds/minutes I meet somebody. I usually don't know anything about the person when I fall in love with somebody.

ZombieKitten said:

I'm witcha...

First and foremost , you gotta be real , no pretention

A non hairy chest is definatly a deal breaker , I loves the fuzz

Just because they chose not to tell you something doesnt mean that its not a lie , if that makes sense

As long as they are funny , kind , completely honest , well its a winning combo

HamsterHuey said:

Yes, excessive talker. I don't mind if someone is a chatty cathy or if they have a lot of stories to tell. I know a lot of people who talk a lot, but they have a lot to say and it's usually very funny or insightful. I'll shut right up and listen to them for hours. But when people just blather on at the mouth and have nothing to say just because they're nervous or because they like the sound of their own voice? Well okay, that's really nifty, but I see no reason why I need to spend the rest of my life with that shit. It's a turn-off to me. Some people don't like smoking, I don't like mouth diarrhea. Diff'rent strokes, baby.

Funny, me too.
Some of my friends seem to have requirements even when it comes to jobs/sphere of activity, financial status and class. As for me, if there is love&lust, the guy could be sweeping the streets, I don't care.

Anyway, now you see, your/our opinion are not so isolated, judging by the latest posts...

Serious said:

JustErin said:

i agree with erin. i think it's really pretty and beautiful to think about the romantic, idealistic notion of "you look across the room and you see them and...you just KNOW."

but come on, now.

i'm sorry, but i'm at a point in my life where i've had enough BS and i've suffered enough fools, and romantic idealism didn't help me one bit. i think it's possible to still hold romantic ideals and let yourself have standards. if i meet someone who's incredibly breathtaking and sweet and i come to find out they're a junkie and a foie gras enthusiast, then you know what? time to throw him back in the pond. i'm confident enough that there are other fish to catch, and one of them will be better suited for me.

fortunately, i'm at a point where i think that mentality has worked out pretty well for me.

Anxiety said:

that would break a deal with me too

"...but as soon as my heart had committed itself to her and we were in a 'serious' relationship, the real her showed up."


But isn't that precisely at that moment that Love is supposed to work its magic?

Isn't it the whole point of loving someone? - making that 'work' [those efforts and sacrifices] for no other reason than because you've fallen in love with that person? That's when I expect Real Love to start developing and growing slowly.

Anyway, it's my take on it, Love is even more fun on this PE when it comes in various shapes & colors!.. Everybody's got his own recipe.

Tremolina said:

HamsterHuey said:

I couldn't agree more.

FunkMistress said:

I had lists.

I fell in love with someone that met about 2/20 criteria

IstenSzek said:

God damn


Call me sometime so we can talk about this.

you know, you guys are right.

sometimes i like to just go to the store, shut my eyes, run down the aisles and just grab at things. clearly i was meant to have these things or else they wouldn't have ended up in my hands!

speaking of which, would anyone like to split 10 bags of circus peanuts with me? they go really good with clamato, i've found.

FuNkeNsteiN said:

Anxiety said:

I personally think that the whole love at first sight ideal is naive and well, immature. No offense to anyone who feels that's how it should be.

As I have gotten older I have come to realize that love is actually nothing like I thought it was or was supposed to be. I think many people confuse lust, infatuation and obsession with love. I'm not saying that those things are wrong to feel, in fact, I think it's normal to go through those stages. For me I think those stages are really what people call being "in love" but I do not think that this is what love is. Those stages tend to be when people close their eyes to everything and except the shitty things about someone because they are infatuated with them. It doesn't matter if they treat them badly, if they create stress in their lives, etc....cuz…ya know...they "love" them.

I love a lot of people in my life, some I have been with romantically, some I have not. I have grown to love these people over time, after getting to know them, after deciding whether their little quirks are things that I could comfortably overlook, after seeing that they were good for me and I am good for them. A strong bond forms, I care for them deeply.

I think that the only real true love at first sight that exists (for most) is the parent child love and that serves a real biological purpose. But maybe that's not even love, but just an instinctive immediate bond.

JustErin said:

I knew I was in love less than twelve hours after meeting Chris for the first time. Almost two years later, it has only grown.

Flo6 said:

I totally agree. . I don't fall in love easily, when it happens I know there won't be the next one soon if I let that one go.

FunkMistress said:

Yeah but lets be honest, when you interact with someone and talk alot either online or on the phone etc and do the long distance thing then the first time you actually meet IRL is very different than a "normal" first time meeting.

FunkMistress said:

Don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that I believe that an immediate attraction or infatuation, or whatever I labeled it can not lead to something amazing where someone truly loves someone. It's "grown" as you call it as you got to really know him well as a person.

Anxiety said:

It's not that I am not confident enough, but I don't want to be with anyone that I am not completely attracted to and that hardly ever happens.

mdiver said:

That wasn't really our situation, though. We interacted a bit in a friendly way on here, but there was no "relationship" at all before we met, nothing romantic whatsoever.