So I've been anxy and couldn't sit still all day long today.

So to relieve my tension, I get up and I walk the floor at my workplace (roughly the same distance as a football field). The way I figure it, it's the equivalent of a cigarette break.

So I got up from my desk, went out in the hallway and as I'm about to start walking around, my friend and colleague, Vicki is talking to knock dead georgeous woman--I mean hot as all hell, which is very rare on an IT floor. I'm about to walk by ignoring the two of them and minding my own business when I accidently caught the tale end of what the woman was saying to Vicki.

I only caught these words, "I try to keep it as moist as possible."




















It all happenned so quickly
I heard "I tried to keep it as moist as possible" from her lips and instinctively looked at her crotch. At precicely .00005 seconds after my fatal mistake, she looked up at my eyes, not having yet left the view of her poontang, and my eyes caught hers.


lawd. Shit! I didn't WANT to look there! It was an accident! She said "moist"--where else was I gonna look??!!??

I kept walking and circled the floor (I normally circle it 3 times before sitting back down). On the second pass, they were still in the hallway
I did some quick soul searching.

"Dan, " I thought to myself, "she's either going to think I'm stalking her, I'm a weirdo, or I'm nobody special to pay attention to---hell, all of the above
Or, she's not going to think about it at all.

So I went ahead and walked past her again. I forgot what she said that clued me in, but I realized she was talking about her throat and tonsils.



Of course, even THAT was kind of erotic


I hope she's just a visitor and won't be working here permenantly. I liked walking the floor with some dignity.

i love hearing the tale end of peoples conversations. She was probably talking about her flowerbed or something haha

FunAndJames said:

She was talking about her throat and tonsils.


But still... I'm mature enough to not make a big deal of such things. It's just that I instinctively looked at her crotch, totally not meaning to. Totally not meaning to send ANY kind of a signal to her whatsoever.

It just sort of...hapenned.

it always happens to me. I was at work (well, when i had a job) and i leapt over this box and smacked my head and the door frame, and i scrunched up my face and held my head as you do when in pain, and then my sense come back, i Look in the window and this amazingly hot girl is looking at our shit in the window, and OBVIOUSLY saw me being a pussy. I felt such a boob

Today I passed a coworker in the hallway. He complimented my (long and shiny) necklace. I immediately thought "that's weird, he's never complimented me before..."

Then I realized he probably said it cause I caught him looking at my rack.

FunAndJames said:

I've been in similar situations

Your stories are hillarious!

CarrieMpls said:

I *hate* making a woman feel so uncomfortable though. Because women already have to deal with all the other bullshit of being a woman in male dominated environments.

So it makes me feel kind of icky thinking she thinks I'm some 'perv' down the hall.

And it's not like I can just explain to her that, "no no no, not interested dear--I'm going to have hot buttsex in the UK with a dude! I don't need your moistness! "





crassy crass crass most-to-moist edit
[Edited 5/15/08 13:47pm]

sag10 said:

I am CONSTANTLY doing stuff like that this year

Imago said:

BEST

POST

EVER



(for a long time anyway)

Imago said:

eh, most of the time we don't notice or don't care. We're used to it.

Imago said:

Made me LOL. Genius

CarrieMpls said:

oh no. This is reminding me of the episode of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm" where Larry's wife's friend thinks that he's got an erection in his pants, when it's just the fabric of his crotch bunching up.

CarrieMpls said:

I was just going to say that. I might notice for a second, and then forget about it the second after that. I never dwell on it or the person.

Unless of course the guy walked into a sign or crashed his car or something.

minneapolisgenius said:

Thanks.

Vicki's back. But I don't think I'll bother to ask her about it. I mean, how do you say to a casual friend and coleague "Was your friend thinking I was staring at her crotch?"

Imago said:

I love that episode.

minneapolisgenius said:

You should try experimenting one day. And just randomly say "moist" when a guy is walking by to see where he instinctively looks.

I bet 97% will look at your crotch despite themselves, and the other 3% probably instinctively reach inside their messenger bags for lip gloss.

minneapolisgenius said:

Between the Valley of the Dolls movie and that episode, our tastes are scarily similar!

On the third time 'round you should've walked a little swishy. She then would've come over, talked to you, and you probably would've had a hilarious lunch together.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Only dogs and cats should develope lifelong friendships from staring and sniffing crotches.

I'm just going to avoid her for a while.

Imago said:

I'm realizing that too!



We could have a mescaline trip together and you can cut off my head when I yell...

"You're nothing but a broad! Nothing but a GODDAMN UGLY BROAD!"

Imago said:

I think the word "wet" might be even more effective.

Imago said:

I disagree.....

sounds normal to me.

and you were having such a lovely day with brids chirping and sunshine beaming down and thoughts of me....

superspaceboy said:

Conceptually, this is one of my best threads.