This is cute... it may b old, but it's still cute:



A husband and wife go off to bed. As soon as they settle down, the man leans over and whispers softly "hey snuggle boopy boops, your little hubby wubby isn't quite ready for nite-nite yet."

The wife takes the hint and says "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first." So off she goes, but on her way back
she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face.

Her husband jumps up concerned. "Oh my little hunny bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?"

No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad
passionate sex for two hours.

Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.

Her husband looks over and grunts, "Clumsy bitch."

A young newlywed couple are on their honeymoon and just arrived at their hotel, getting ready for bed. They don't communicate very well in bed, so once under the sheets, the couple sit there silently, nervous about what to do or say.

The husband is the first to break the silence, leans over and says "Honey...if you're a little nervous like me, and you want to have -ahem- sex, just reach over and stroke my dick a couple times and that'll be the sign you're ready."
The wife being just as anxious simply whispers, "Okay".

The deafening silence returns, she thinks for a moment, and then leans over "But what if i don't want to have sex?"
"Easy, just lean over and stroke my dick a couple hundred times."

June7 said:

She probably fell cause she couln't believe she'd just fucked a toad.