Oh God, where do I start? First off this is just a pure vent, I just need to get off my chest. No one needs to respond or even read this, but here it goes.

In elementary school I had a mad crush on this girl. I hung out with her alittle bit and always thought she was cute or good looking/whatever. And when we hung out she used to tease me and make fun of me, blah, blah, blah and made if very clear she wanted nothing to do with me. I carried this crush with me into middle school where I hung out with her some more, mostly because we had a class or two together, and I never saw her outside of school. And at this point she has no idea I still liked her. She used to make fun of me and tease me, etc and we we're just mutual friends, kinda.

Fast forward to a couple years ago and she starts dating this guy. No skin off my back because at this point, I don't even see or talk to her that much. A year or two later, I meet her boyfriend, and me and him have so much in common when it comes to EVERYTHING. We're so much alike and at this point I'm just like WTF?? Me and this dude are so similar, why would she pick him over me But I let it pass, but I still have a small crush on her. But now, me and her boyfriend (now my best friend) are hanging out more and more, so I see her more and more and my feelings for her intensify.

Fast forward to earlier this year, we're all like a gang now and hang out together almost everyday. Which sucks because I've started to see her real persoanlity and what sh'es really like, and sh'es good looking and everything. But I find out that, one night she got drunk and cheated on my best friend. Total drag, and my friend knew about it and looks to me to console him. So I do and I find out she's seeing this other guy on the side too. These days me and her are really good friends, and she flirts with me, playfully, nothing serious, just telling jokes and stuff.

In my mind, if a girl cheats twice, she's bound to cheat again. And what I'm worried about is, me and her are such good friends that she may come onto me next.

She called me tonight and said "Yeah, I'm sick, blah, blah," and we have this little conversation. And she's like "You're a really good friend because you're a good listener, blah, blah, blah". And then after a couple minutes we hang up and that's that. As if she called me up specifically to tell me that. Now she hardly ever talks to me unless I happen to be hanging out with her WITH her boyfriend, let alone she never calls me up just to talk for a couple minutes.

Now, I still go through these spells where I want her really bad. But all in all, I've come to terms with the fact that it'll never happen because she's gonna marry my best friend and all this. But if she becomes attracted to me, it's just gonna make things 100 times harder. Because I'm afraid that it could very well happen, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to say no, should anything happen, and then I'd be fucking over my best friend, and MY girlfriend. Plus it'd be awkward as hell being around her, having feelings for each other, but can't act on them. Maybe I'm just making to much of it, but the whole thing just sucks and I wish I could let go of these feelings I have for her.....

If you read this whole thing, I commend you. I just needed to let SOMEONE know how I feel, because god know I can't really tell anybody.

Orgnote, amigo.

"In my mind, if a girl cheats twice, she's bound to cheat again. And what I'm worried about is, me and her are such good friends that she may come onto me next."

I tend to agree with you there "generally" anyway

Volitan said:

This could quite possibly be The Understatement of the Century.


You can. I would start with asking yourself why you want to get involved with somebody who's a known cheater and has treated you with disregard for years.


I know the above sounds harsh, but - trust me - it's tough love.

i'd say you're more in love with the romanticized mythology you've created of this woman and the fantasies you've had for so many years involving her than you are in love with the actual woman she truly is.

it's difficult letting go of deep-rooted emotions (whether they be based in reality or fantasy) and particularly unresolved passion/s, but it sounds as if you realize the negative consequences which would arise from getting more involved with this woman past a casual friendship, so try to stay focused on that; don't allow your mind to wander into dangerous waters contemplating "what if"s or "could be"s, which won't do anything but frustrate you.

good luck.

Very interesting post and I give you props to have the balls to write it. Sometimes the best way to vent is to write about it. Ace gave you some good advice. Take it to heart!

WillyWonka said:

WillyWonka said:

What he said.

That girl is poison.

littlemissG said: