roodboi said: the lamest, most cliche advice I ever got was right after a break up...a friend told me "Life is about change"...I thought he was an asshole at the time but slowly I began to realize he was right...things change and 9 times outta 10 we don't have much say about it...it's what you decide to do after change that defines you, not the change itself...just because you aren't happy doesn't mean you aren't in a better place....now's your time to shine...you can dwell on the past and cling to old feelings or move on, no matter how shitty it feels and discover what's next...one thing's for sure, if you don't let go, "what's next" will never happen...and "what's next" may not be all that pleasant but it's bound to be different and anything different is something new...anything new replaces something old...anything replaced soon becomes a distant memory...
Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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heybaby said: Plenty and all the time.
I don't know if its hard for me to let go when I do or if its just me taking the time to analyze the pros and cons of whether it does more bad than good. Friends, relationships,jobs, even family I let go of if its doing nothing but causing me spiritual harm. I cannot tolerate negative people or people who I can see don't wish me well because of their own selfish reasons-puts a strain on my heart. You have to cut people out of your life like this. In the end you have to decide who do you love more-them or yourself This really struck something inside me. I look back, on the last 2 yrs, heck this last week. And some of the actions, and things that have been done to me, would show that I don't love myself very much right now, because if I did, I would have NEVER let someone/something treat me in such a manner. And because of these actions, I am now at this fork in the road, to walk away, and cut all ties. Or continue to be treated in the manner that shows me zero respect. But each time I try to walk away, cut those ties, someone or something sucks me right back in, and I am right back where I started from. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: heybaby said: Plenty and all the time.
I don't know if its hard for me to let go when I do or if its just me taking the time to analyze the pros and cons of whether it does more bad than good. Friends, relationships,jobs, even family I let go of if its doing nothing but causing me spiritual harm. I cannot tolerate negative people or people who I can see don't wish me well because of their own selfish reasons-puts a strain on my heart. You have to cut people out of your life like this. In the end you have to decide who do you love more-them or yourself This really struck something inside me. I look back, on the last 2 yrs, heck this last week. And some of the actions, and things that have been done to me, would show that I don't love myself very much right now, because if I did, I would have NEVER let someone/something treat me in such a manner. And because of these actions, I am now at this fork in the road, to walk away, and cut all ties. Or continue to be treated in the manner that shows me zero respect. But each time I try to walk away, cut those ties, someone or something sucks me right back in, and I am right back where I started from. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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ThreadBare said: Yeah, I recently made such a break. Like Imago said, it's very liberating, very jarring, very terrifying, at times. But such moments help us grow. They help us confront what we think our limitations are, they help challenge us to be open to new, foreign things.
In these types of situations, we find that we're more complex and comprehensive than we thought. There's more to us. And, I believe that when we involve God in such crossroads, they propel us toward our destinies (Ephesians 2:10). I am afraid to take such steps. I am not sure if I have the strength to do so. It's hard to cut off ties to someone or something that has been apart of your life for so long. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: ThreadBare said: Yeah, I recently made such a break. Like Imago said, it's very liberating, very jarring, very terrifying, at times. But such moments help us grow. They help us confront what we think our limitations are, they help challenge us to be open to new, foreign things.
In these types of situations, we find that we're more complex and comprehensive than we thought. There's more to us. And, I believe that when we involve God in such crossroads, they propel us toward our destinies (Ephesians 2:10). I am afraid to take such steps. I am not sure if I have the strength to do so. It's hard to cut off ties to someone or something that has been apart of your life for so long. I know. Particularly when that someone has become a support system of sorts for you. I'm making such a break. And, the process of going through all the emotions -- resentment, anger, surrender, forgiveness (rinse and repeat) is detoxifying. I hope. Hang in there. You're far stronger than you give yourself credit for being. | |
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MoniGram said: I was just wondering if anyone here has ever had to let something go, job, friends, relationships, because you know either it would be better for you, or better for the people involved?
If so, how did you handle it? Did the person or persons understand why you were doing it? Did you feel better after walking away from it? Did you teeter for a bit before making the choice of letting go or not? If you let go, how did you handle the emotions that came with your choice? All answers, honest, dishonest, funny, serious, would be great! Yes m'am. It happened with my first husband. He was the man that brought me into womanhood...I loved him ragefully (though not regretfully) for 7 years. I could not see either of us thriving or reaching our fullest potential if we remained together, so I forcefully split. Chile, our marriage resembled a poorer man's version of "A Star Is Born", so if you know how THAT story ends clearly we HAD to part. Thankfully, we're both doing much better as human beings as a result. You know you were in a bad space together if you happily celebrate the anniversary of your break-up more than you can the actual marriage .So letting go, while forcing you into new nd unfamiliar territory, can lead to truly enriching your life | |
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MoniGram said: mdiver said: Moni sweetheart what you are going through sucks big hairy donkey balls.....but its for the best. Better is there, what Moni needs and deserves is there....trust me..i am living proof
Well if you have any one that can help send them my way! Ahhhh the truth is out..what you need is a damn good rogering | |
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ThreadBare said: MoniGram said: I am afraid to take such steps. I am not sure if I have the strength to do so. It's hard to cut off ties to someone or something that has been apart of your life for so long. I know. Particularly when that someone has become a support system of sorts for you. I'm making such a break. And, the process of going through all the emotions -- resentment, anger, surrender, forgiveness (rinse and repeat) is detoxifying. I hope. Hang in there. You're far stronger than you give yourself credit for being. | |
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heybaby said: ThreadBare said: I know. Particularly when that someone has become a support system of sorts for you. I'm making such a break. And, the process of going through all the emotions -- resentment, anger, surrender, forgiveness (rinse and repeat) is detoxifying. I hope. Hang in there. You're far stronger than you give yourself credit for being. That's very true . With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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All can say Moni is let go and let God decide whats best 4 ya !
Wish ya all the best love PEACE.....It does not mean 2 be in a place where there is no noise,trouble,or hardwork.It means 2 be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart ! | |
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IrrisistableRich said: All can say Moni is let go and let God decide whats best 4 ya !
Wish ya all the best love Thanks Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Not really. I hold onto everything and everybody for dear life and strangle it until it's dead or they get away. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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minneapolisgenius said: Not really. I hold onto everything and everybody for dear life and strangle it until it's dead or they get away.
Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Letting go may truely only happen when you are reaching forward to grasp something new
maybe and your way hun edit [Edited 3/4/08 6:33am] | |
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Imago said: ok. I guess I'll be open about this.
I broke up permemnaately with my long time on-again/off-again girlfriend in November. In doing so, I finally severed all ties with friends that I felt were toxic (many who were friends of both of ours). you see Moni. what you and your are going through? I went through ever year since 2004 It. hurts. to. keep. it. going. when all you want is to lay down with someone and just make things be the same as they were when things were good. It abosolutley tears you apart wanting to be touched, to be held...to be listenned to. But sometimes, it just doesn't work out that way. Sometimes, you just aren't good each other, and getting back with that person or those friends, only prolongs the inevitable. How am I handling it now? Well, I went RAW-Vegan around December, so my "comfort food" was denied to me as I was going through this relatively sobering sublimation. My safety blanket wasn't there, so I had to deal with my emotions as they came. I had the best fucking cry a few weeks back of my entire life . It felt so good to have the levee break in that regard. I'm also openning up to the possibility of growing again. I mean, really growing as a person. Not withdrawing into a bitter protective shell. not to shy away from painful things and encase myself in a blanket of comfort. But to grow and take chances. It's been liberating and scary. And oddly fresh. Trust me from an old vet--move on. this is the best advice ever! I have never seen the words put in my face like this. just in my head and it didn't work so I kept slipping in my situation. man I am gonna try this. NO COMFORT FOODS, NO COMFORT BLANKETS. JUST OUT IN THE COLD ROUGHING IT OUT. I LOVE THIS ONE. and you are right. when you give into that stuff you are saying that the other person still has a part of you. I think that that is why people cheat on their former partner, for example, that they are trying to move on from. To get that high and then that crash to feel like they have forgotten them. I don't know if that is a comfort tactic too, but hey.I had to let go of some people too, and it was difficult. it is more difficult when the shoe is on the other foot too. when they are gonna dump you and you didn't know it was gonna happen. but this asshole that I knew went too far and decided to include people I knew and manage to make it work. so I lost that person plus the friends. I let that person their asses have it too and they shut down like the hood of a car-SLAM!-- cause they didn't know that I found out. I played their game.for a minute. That started part of my heeling process. I heeled from it because I always kept plan b's in case I ran into some shit like that. I didn't know who to be mad at--that person or the friends I thought were my friends that that person knew how to influence. I went through the comfort thing for a minute and then went cold turkey to move on. I changed where I hung out for a minute, I did different things I mean changed my lifestyle for a minute to let things settle and it helped me a lot. I really like what this person poste up above. that was pretty life challenging. [Edited 3/4/08 7:38am] nipsy | |
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CarrieMpls said: I like my bitter protective shell.
nipsy | |
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Mach said: Letting go may truely only happen when you are reaching forward to grasp something new
maybe and your way hun edit [Edited 3/4/08 6:33am] Grasp something new! Today I tried to let go again, and they wouldn't let me. I wish I had everyone here behind me, as my back up, pushing me along the way. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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chewwsey said: Imago said: ok. I guess I'll be open about this.
I broke up permemnaately with my long time on-again/off-again girlfriend in November. In doing so, I finally severed all ties with friends that I felt were toxic (many who were friends of both of ours). you see Moni. what you and your are going through? I went through ever year since 2004 It. hurts. to. keep. it. going. when all you want is to lay down with someone and just make things be the same as they were when things were good. It abosolutley tears you apart wanting to be touched, to be held...to be listenned to. But sometimes, it just doesn't work out that way. Sometimes, you just aren't good each other, and getting back with that person or those friends, only prolongs the inevitable. How am I handling it now? Well, I went RAW-Vegan around December, so my "comfort food" was denied to me as I was going through this relatively sobering sublimation. My safety blanket wasn't there, so I had to deal with my emotions as they came. I had the best fucking cry a few weeks back of my entire life . It felt so good to have the levee break in that regard. I'm also openning up to the possibility of growing again. I mean, really growing as a person. Not withdrawing into a bitter protective shell. not to shy away from painful things and encase myself in a blanket of comfort. But to grow and take chances. It's been liberating and scary. And oddly fresh. Trust me from an old vet--move on. this is the best advice ever! I have never seen the words put in my face like this. just in my head and it didn't work so I kept slipping in my situation. man I am gonna try this. NO COMFORT FOODS, NO COMFORT BLANKETS. JUST OUT IN THE COLD ROUGHING IT OUT. I LOVE THIS ONE. and you are right. when you give into that stuff you are saying that the other person still has a part of you. I think that that is why people cheat on their former partner, for example, that htey are trying to move on from. To get that high and then that crash to feel like they have forgotten them. I don't know if that is a comfort tactic too, but hey.I had to let go of some people too, and it was difficult. it is more difficult when the shoe is on the other foot too. when they are gonna dump you and you didn't know it was gonna happen. but this asshole that I knew went too far and decided to include people I knew and manage to make it work. so I lost that person plus the friends. I let their ass have it too and they shut down like the hood of a car. SLAM! But I heeled from it because I always kept plan b's in case I ran into some shit like that. I didn't know who to be mad at--that person or the friends I thought were my friends that that person knew how to influence. I went through the comfort thing for a minute and then went cold turkey to move on. I changed where I hung out for a minute, I did different things I mean changed my lifestyle for a minute to let things settle and it helped me a lot. I really like what this person poste up above. that was pretty life challenging. Are you hot? | |
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gyro34 said: I am in the process of letting go the unrealistic expectations I had about my mom and my sister. My mom was never good at listening to my problems, but she demanded that I listen to hers. In most aspects it has been a relationship in which I have felt used by her and rejected by her godly standards. So, I am going to withold from her how I am feeling or any problems I may have.
My sister dilikes and resents me because my mom favored me when I was a kid. Sister has showned me in countless of ways that she despises me. It was very difficult for me to admit it to myself and come to terms with it. But I will do it. I have dealt with this too, and really had to make the decision to take a break from them. hell they did it to me and I was the dummy who wasn't paying attention to it fast enough. I started having repeated dreams about them. bad ones and I think that was what the breaking point for me. now all of a sudden my mom wonders where I am. I wasn't favored although my kinfolk acted like it for some reason. I don't deal with excessive godly people because they don't hear anyone or trust anyone but god and everyone else is evil. they lose sight of what god is about, which is love. good luck to you nipsy | |
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Man, there is so much potential ass to be had on this thread | |
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Imago said: chewwsey said: this is the best advice ever! I have never seen the words put in my face like this. just in my head and it didn't work so I kept slipping in my situation. man I am gonna try this. NO COMFORT FOODS, NO COMFORT BLANKETS. JUST OUT IN THE COLD ROUGHING IT OUT. I LOVE THIS ONE. and you are right. when you give into that stuff you are saying that the other person still has a part of you. I think that that is why people cheat on their former partner, for example, that htey are trying to move on from. To get that high and then that crash to feel like they have forgotten them. I don't know if that is a comfort tactic too, but hey.I had to let go of some people too, and it was difficult. it is more difficult when the shoe is on the other foot too. when they are gonna dump you and you didn't know it was gonna happen. but this asshole that I knew went too far and decided to include people I knew and manage to make it work. so I lost that person plus the friends. I let their ass have it too and they shut down like the hood of a car. SLAM! But I heeled from it because I always kept plan b's in case I ran into some shit like that. I didn't know who to be mad at--that person or the friends I thought were my friends that that person knew how to influence. I went through the comfort thing for a minute and then went cold turkey to move on. I changed where I hung out for a minute, I did different things I mean changed my lifestyle for a minute to let things settle and it helped me a lot. I really like what this person poste up above. that was pretty life challenging. Are you hot? Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Imago said: Man, there is so much potential ass to be had on this thread
Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Imago said: Man, there is so much potential ass to be had on this thread
Slut I am looking for a change - make thread on your RAW thingy you are on - post lots of info what you eat where you shop how you prepare it - all that shit thanx | |
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Imago said: MoniGram said: anal Thanks Dan!!! How I org crush all over you!!! (Ocean, don't eeeeeven go there! ) Seriously though Moni. What you're feeling is normal. Very painful yes, but life is wrought with pain. As a buddhist I believe that sooooo much that it permeates everything in my life. We can't avoid pain. We can't avoid suffering. What we can do is learn from it. See, just the act of staying with someone you should not be with, may feel gratifying at the time, but it adds to the eventual suffering you will undergo. Be strong love It feels weird at first. A bit unfamiliar maybe? But from all this, you will become enraptured, and elated, and completely overcome with a new sense of joy. Like cunnilingus. this thread is really interesting. I am a buddhist also. I chant and I like the belief system associated with the practice. nipsy | |
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Mach said: Imago said: Man, there is so much potential ass to be had on this thread
Slut I am looking for a change - make thread on your RAW thingy you are on - post lots of info what you eat where you shop how you prepare it - all that shit thanx I'll make one today I promise. working on a lovenote right now | |
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Imago said: chewwsey said: this is the best advice ever! I have never seen the words put in my face like this. just in my head and it didn't work so I kept slipping in my situation. man I am gonna try this. NO COMFORT FOODS, NO COMFORT BLANKETS. JUST OUT IN THE COLD ROUGHING IT OUT. I LOVE THIS ONE. and you are right. when you give into that stuff you are saying that the other person still has a part of you. I think that that is why people cheat on their former partner, for example, that htey are trying to move on from. To get that high and then that crash to feel like they have forgotten them. I don't know if that is a comfort tactic too, but hey.I had to let go of some people too, and it was difficult. it is more difficult when the shoe is on the other foot too. when they are gonna dump you and you didn't know it was gonna happen. but this asshole that I knew went too far and decided to include people I knew and manage to make it work. so I lost that person plus the friends. I let their ass have it too and they shut down like the hood of a car. SLAM! But I heeled from it because I always kept plan b's in case I ran into some shit like that. I didn't know who to be mad at--that person or the friends I thought were my friends that that person knew how to influence. I went through the comfort thing for a minute and then went cold turkey to move on. I changed where I hung out for a minute, I did different things I mean changed my lifestyle for a minute to let things settle and it helped me a lot. I really like what this person poste up above. that was pretty life challenging. Are you hot? welllll, I don't know about the hot part, I have never viewed myself like that. but if I take heed to your hot ass advice I will certainly be stronger and healthier and eventually hot. thanks for asking and feel free to send an org note to me. hey you aren't one of them fine ones who tries to help a person when they are at their lowest just to get some are ya? (just kidding) I think that monigram has a good chance of not getting sucked back in if she finds some cool things to do. why not dig up some of your other first loves and hobbies and don't go to the same places for a minute. get back on track. good luck. nipsy | |
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Imago said: Mach said: Slut I am looking for a change - make thread on your RAW thingy you are on - post lots of info what you eat where you shop how you prepare it - all that shit thanx I'll make one today I promise. working on a lovenote right now Guys still do that? Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: Imago said: I'll make one today I promise. working on a lovenote right now Guys still do that? He is probably making a video. | |
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To “Let Go” Takes Love To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, It means I can’t do it for someone else. To “let go” does not mean to cut myself off, it is The realization I can’t control another. To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow Learning from natural consequences. To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which Means the outcome is not in my hands. To “let go” is not to try to change or blame Another, it is to make the most of myself. To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about. To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive. To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another To be a human being. To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes But to allow others to affect their own destinies. To “let go” is not to be protective; it is to permit another to face reality. To “let go” is not to deny but to accept. To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search Out my own shortcomings and to correct them. To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and to cherish myself in it. To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody But to try to become what I dream I can be. To “let go” is to not regret the past, but to grow and to live for the future. To “let go” is to fear less and to LOVE more. [Edited 3/4/08 7:21am] I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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chewwsey said: Imago said: Are you hot? welllll, I don't know about the hot part, I have never viewed myself like that. but if I take heed to your hot ass advice I will certainly be stronger and healthier and eventually hot. thanks for asking and feel free to send an org note to me. hey you aren't one of them fine ones who tries to help a person when they are at their lowest just to get some are ya? (just kidding) I think that monigram has a good chance of not getting sucked back in if she finds some cool things to do. why not dig up some of your other first loves and hobbies and don't go to the same places for a minute. get back on track. good luck. Cool things will be happening next month. My granddaughter will be born! I just have some thinking to do. I think I already know what I need and should do, it's just getting that strength. Ask anyone here on the org that knows me, this has been my struggle for 3 months now. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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