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violator said: DesertEskimo said: that is exactly how it is for me too!  except initiating it actually turns me off, so I usually end up having this kind of half-hearted sex, just for the sake of having it.Out of spite? Disappointment? I often wanted to do the same. In time though, I realized it was her hangup and nothing more. She did want me, but just felt it was my role to initiate it. But, again, in a marriage it would get old. And my expectations would be completely different. I mean (if I reach out to touch him, and he responds) I go through the motions without really being aroused, or even with my mind on it, just cause I hate going for long periods without sex. I think I should be having sex, it's not good NOT too, but it doesn't do much for me. On the other hand, if he lets me know in a physical way that I turn him on and he can hardly focus because he is so hot for me, then THAT gets me going so much it's unbelievable. | |
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what the hell is so difficult about displaying physical affection without it having to be a come-on for sex? sometimes a hug is just a hug and a cuddle is just a cuddle. sex is great, but so is intimacy for its own sake. | |
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Anxiety said: what the hell is so difficult about displaying physical affection without it having to be a come-on for sex? sometimes a hug is just a hug and a cuddle is just a cuddle. sex is great, but so is intimacy for its own sake.
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DesertEskimo said: violator said: Out of spite? Disappointment? I often wanted to do the same. In time though, I realized it was her hangup and nothing more. She did want me, but just felt it was my role to initiate it. But, again, in a marriage it would get old. And my expectations would be completely different. I mean (if I reach out to touch him, and he responds) I go through the motions without really being aroused, or even with my mind on it, just cause I hate going for long periods without sex. I think I should be having sex, it's not good NOT too, but it doesn't do much for me. On the other hand, if he lets me know in a physical way that I turn him on and he can hardly focus because he is so hot for me, then THAT gets me going so much it's unbelievable. I understand. I can imagine that having three kids creates some challenges when it comes to intimacy (as you mentioned 'tired and distracted'). I just hope you don't feel it's a reflection on you, physically speaking only, as I don't know you or anything about your personal life. Whatever his reasons are for why he responds the way he does, you are a very beautiful and desirable woman, Charlotte. Of that, you should have no insecurities or doubt. | |
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Anxiety said: what the hell is so difficult about displaying physical affection without it having to be a come-on for sex? sometimes a hug is just a hug and a cuddle is just a cuddle. sex is great, but so is intimacy for its own sake.
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Fauxie said: Anxiety said: what the hell is so difficult about displaying physical affection without it having to be a come-on for sex? sometimes a hug is just a hug and a cuddle is just a cuddle. sex is great, but so is intimacy for its own sake.
awww  | |
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Raze said: I can show physical affection to the one I love without wanting or intending to have sex, and it's usually the case. On the other hand, showing physical affection to him and getting it in return usually makes me want to have sex with him.
Kind of a chicken & egg sort of question for me, I guess. And yeah, I listen to Dr. Joy Brown too  Is that who said it? I didn't remember where I heard it. It was on my mind recently after seeing this guy rub the skin off his girlfriend's arm in public. It made me think Is he getting some later? and then I thought about what the therapist said a while back Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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Anxiety said: Fauxie said: awww  | |
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Fauxie said: Anxiety said: what the hell is so difficult about displaying physical affection without it having to be a come-on for sex? sometimes a hug is just a hug and a cuddle is just a cuddle. sex is great, but so is intimacy for its own sake.
He's gonna expect sex now, you know... | |
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JustErin said: Anxiety said: what the hell is so difficult about displaying physical affection without it having to be a come-on for sex? sometimes a hug is just a hug and a cuddle is just a cuddle. sex is great, but so is intimacy for its own sake.
sex is great. you know what else is great? scrabble. i love scrabble. but you have to get it out and then there are all those letter tiles all over the place and you have a time commitment and you have to keep score and then you have to clean everything up and put it away afterwards. just because i speak in words doesn't mean i want to play scrabble, as much as i like it. that was a stupid ass analogy.  | |
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violator said: DesertEskimo said: I mean (if I reach out to touch him, and he responds) I go through the motions without really being aroused, or even with my mind on it, just cause I hate going for long periods without sex. I think I should be having sex, it's not good NOT too, but it doesn't do much for me. On the other hand, if he lets me know in a physical way that I turn him on and he can hardly focus because he is so hot for me, then THAT gets me going so much it's unbelievable. I understand. I can imagine that having three kids creates some challenges when it comes to intimacy (as you mentioned 'tired and distracted'). I just hope you don't feel it's a reflection on you, physically speaking only, as I don't know you or anything about your personal life. Whatever his reasons are for why he responds the way he does, you are a very beautiful and desirable woman, Charlotte. Of that, you should have no insecurities or doubt. thanks, a woman is always gonna have insecurities and doubts though! | |
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Stymie said: A peck on the cheek, yeah. a hug, yeah. Tongue wrestling? It's on.
  and 'this' is why you and i are endless superb friends! my girl!... i was thinking very close to the same thing... we're an oddity to the female species you know it | |
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