Every relationship, even a love relationship takes constant work.
I had one of those long term relationships out of convenience and we had a lot in common personality wise. We were together for 10 years, split once because there was no passion. Then eventually realised that we were nothing more than room mates.
I cannot speak for a long term passionate relationship unless you consider almost 2 years long... which in most ways I do not think it qualifies as long.
I think that love can last if both ppl realise that there will be some (constant) work required. I do not think most of us consider what it takes to keep a relationship going before we step into one. I know for a fact that it takes two ppl that are willing to work and stay committed to the relationship for it to stay alive and healthy.
It is like most things in life.. nothing survives without being fed and cared for.
Relationships are no different.

I read your entire post Adisa btw.
Great question & subject.

I guess I am not understanding what you guys mean by work?

For me "work" in a relationship means to invest energy into making it better and to fule it for growth. I believe one must "work" on ones self as much as the relationship for it to grow

"Love" to me feel effortless - it exsists ( or not )

This is a great thread.

I guess I am not understanding what you guys mean by work?

It can be complicated because I think that both ppl need to have common goals. If we are talking about a love relationship then I think it takes work to understand one another, make compromises, put the other person first. That is why I think if both ppl don't work at it then it becomes one sided and one person is left carrying all of the responsibility.
I also think it takes ppl with different strengths and weaknesses to compliment one another and create balance.



I could be totally wrong and talking out of my ass too.

Nah.

I don't think you're wrong at all. I just hear people talk about putting in work and I wonder where the lines of communication break down. It is my intent to go into a relationship knowing what is expected of each partner, what the goals are, if there is marriage on the mind of either, etc., to head off drama. I want that person to be my best friend so it's fresh everyday and we never run out of things to talk about and always want to spend time around each other.

Then again, I never want to get married or live with someone so I can be talking out of my ass.

For me "work" in a relationship means to invest energy into making it better and to fule it for growth. I believe one must "work" on ones self as much as the relationship for it to grow

"Love" to me feel effortless - it exsists ( or not )

Thank you Mach. I feel love should be effortless, too.

Thank you Mach. I feel love should be effortless, too.

I guess I am not understanding what you guys mean by work?

For me "work" in a relationship means to invest energy into making it better and to fule it for growth. I believe one must "work" on ones self as much as the relationship for it to grow
"Love" to me feel effortless - it exsists ( or not )

Love is timeless....the depth and degree of love is what is finite....I have love for damned near every girlfriend I've ever had, but its nowhere near the love I have for my wife....or mdiver

Wise as always... I am the living embodiment of that statement....

Love is timeless....the depth and degree of love is what is finite....I have love for damned near every girlfriend I've ever had, but its nowhere near the love I have for my wife....

AWWWWW

you're making me blush again.....

Well you are a very sweet heartfelt man that I respect A LOT!!

Thank you....but it was a long hard road for me (by my own doing no less...) to get to that point....

Well no one is perfect. The most important thing is that you learned from your errors and you corrected them.
It is about growing, learning, changing, loving...ourselves and our loved one.