Discuss Personally I err on the side of the former (and always have if two people marry for the right reasons)


You?
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[Edited 2/15/08 9:42am]

former, but not in a religious sense.

I believe that it's a wonderful sacred institution that works well for some people.
However it didn't work for me and while my man is wonderful and I love him very much, I don't think I'll ever get married again. He is okay with that.
We don't need that ceremony and piece of paper to prove we're committed to each other.

I think/see/feel it can be both separately or in a combined fashion

Depending on the intentions of the couple

To me my marriage and sex life with my husband are very sacred

evenstar said:

I agree ( in my case )

getting cold feet after the ceremony?

Nothing sacred about marriage. I agree with shelly, don't need a signed piece of paper to have my feelings confirmed.

hey Llee

LleeLlee said:

It is just another made up ritual that the sheep have fallen victim to in order to feel as transparent sense of accomplishment while contributing minutely the the countrie's GNP with no guarantee of success.

The success comes from being COMMITTED and a marriage rite does not and WILL NEVER solidify the bond. The work is not easy but if you are COMMITTED you don't need to Marry!

Sacred or not... I don't see why it needs to be a legal institution.

shellyevon said:

It doesn't work for everyone and I dont mean it in the rose tinted glasses sense because it requires effort from both sides but as an idea I guess.

coolcat said:

Tax Breaks and Metal Detectors at Divorce Courts!!

Mach said:

I dont mean in the religious sense maybe sacred was the wrong word to use.

coolcat said:

Somewhere in between? I hear sacred and I think religious. Redundant doesn't work for me either.

AlfofMelmak said:

Hehe not at all

I hope youre well Alfie Okay what that paper represents is subjective I guess....and its no guarantee of happiness...but.

DexMSR said:

I really feel almost insulted when you group us all together under your blanket statements - I understand your comments though

I for one am deeply greatful for the created ( self ) ritual my husband and I intentionally took part of as a celebration or our love and life together

So I'm "a sheep" whatever

DexMSR said:

Anyone that dead agiasnt marriage shouldn't get married
But, and I am generalising here.... men seem to be more anti marriage then women are..wonder why?

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[Edited 2/15/08 10:05am]

LleeLlee said:

As an idea? If you mean commitment to someone to love and stay with them through good times and bad, then yes I do believe in that. I believe in the spiritual connection as well as the physical.

Mach said:

We're not cool because we're married....hahaha



Cool is to live together but in separate houses and meet once a week to pick out wallpaper.

...
[Edited 2/15/08 10:10am]

DexMSR said:

Stymie said:

Sacred = Worthy of respect; venerable > ( Commanding respect by virtue of age, dignity, character, or position. )

shellyevon said:

okay thanks.

Mach said:

Thanks Mach.

I gotta go with redundant institution then.

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

INSATIABLE said:

Like that guy who was made to marry a goat?


Well, he shouldn't have stolen it.





[Edited 2/15/08 10:15am]

LleeLlee said:

yay!

But seriously, though I won't ever have the desire to marry, I understand how sacred it can be--with or without the divinity factor.

And acknowledge that true sacred union is not happening to most people who get hitched. But I won't get into divorce rates today.

My question would be:

What are the benefits to having the institution of marriage established within any society? (not talking about government-issued benefits like tax breaks or what-not).

For the sake of argument, define "marriage" as any two people entering into a committed, monogamous relationship by way of ceremony and symbolism (symbolism being, for example, wedding rings or a woman taking her husband's last name, something like that). Doesn't have to be the generally acknowledged ceremonies and symbolisms, nor does the ceremony need to be one that is government or religion sanctioned.

Is there any benefit at all to society to encourage these types of relationships?

INSATIABLE said:

Divorce rates are out of this world 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce or is it now 2 in 3 anyhow, if thats a reason to put people off so be it, but it doesn't seem to. However, I'm not talking about people who think it was a "fun" thing to do at the time and then end up getting divorced.

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[Edited 2/15/08 10:26am]

LleeLlee said:

According to that World Clock shown on another thread it's 1 in 5 lol ...

Mach said:

You've been around long enough to know how I post my thoughts up in here baby! If it doesn't apply...ignore it or defend it...you choose.

Byron said:

It'd be much higher if it were a "western world" clock.

And definitely, Llee. I think people just consider marriage something they have to accomplish in life to live up to their own standards and expectations. Maybe they just think it's the 'thing to do' because they're with their partners for a certain amount of time.

It's partnership and a fear of being alone that drives many, surely. The fear of going through life without a significant other is a status/social fear. After all, older singles tend to be 'oddballs' in many a head.
[Edited 2/15/08 10:31am]