I was born on a small island just south of Indonesia at the age of 3. My parents sold me to a bunch of traveling minstrels who proceeded to mistreat me in the most unspeakable ways. I fell off the back of a truck when on a journey through the Congo at the age of 6 where I was taken in by a family of silverback gorillas who taught me the joys of sex. At the age of 13 I was discovered running naked through the jungle and was mistaken as the first albino ape.

After i was captured and they shaved me down (and hosed me out) I was taken to England where I enjoyed tea and scones with the Royal family and enthralled them with my tales of unbridled monkey sex. After slipping out of the Queen's boudior the following morning, still limping and groggy, I came across a bow legged man named Bruce who told me of a land far away where they celebrated an amber liquid substance and where gorillas knew only tender and gentle lovin. I hitched a ride on his wagon and flew to a land far far away, traveling in disguise as his pet iguana.

After an agonising trip in which I was fed nothing but flies (yes, Qantas) I arrived in a quaint little village called Melbourne. It was here that I discovered that after enough cool amber beverages I could make any of these lovely ladies seem nice, big and hairy. It seems that I now need to keep drinking just to forget about the last experience.

What was this thread about again????.....

I was born on a small island just south of Indonesia at the age of 3. My parents sold me to a bunch of traveling minstrels who proceeded to mistreat me in the most unspeakable ways. I fell off the back of a truck when on a journey through the Congo at the age of 6 where I was taken in by a family of silverback gorillas who taught me the joys of sex. At the age of 13 I was discovered running naked through the jungle and was mistaken as the first albino ape.

After i was captured and they shaved me down (and hosed me out) I was taken to England where I enjoyed tea and scones with the Royal family and enthralled them with my tales of unbridled monkey sex. After slipping out of the Queen's boudior the following morning, still limping and groggy, I came across a bow legged man named Bruce who told me of a land far away where they celebrated an amber liquid substance and where gorillas knew only tender and gentle lovin. I hitched a ride on his wagon and flew to a land far far away, traveling in disguise as his pet iguana.

After an agonising trip in which I was fed nothing but flies (yes, Qantas) I arrived in a quaint little village called Melbourne. It was here that I discovered that after enough cool amber beverages I could make any of these lovely ladies seem nice, big and hairy. It seems that I now need to keep drinking just to forget about the last experience.

What was this thread about again????.....