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How To Respect a Transgender person On my Google home page, I subscribe to this HOW TO option. Todays was the strangest.....
How to Descale a Kettle How to Draw a Simple Dog Face How to Respect a Transgender Person ....in that order. Like respecting someone who is transgendered is in the same catagory as descaling a kettle????? Or drawing a dog face??  
http://www.wikihow.com/Re...der-Person And it's on wiki? 
Part of the page..... Steps
Thank them. It is very hard to come out to people as transgendered. They trust and/or respect you very much to have come out to you. Thank them for trusting you; it will mean a lot to them, because you mean a lot to them. Respect their gender identity. Think of them as the gender they refer to themselves as and refer to them with their chosen name and gender pronoun (regardless of their physical appearance) from now on. (Unless they are not out, or tell you otherwise. Ask to be sure if or when there are times it is not okay.) Watch your past tense. When talking of the past don't use phrases like "when you were a previous gender" or "born a man/woman," because to them they have always been the gender they have come out to you as, but had to hide it for whatever reasons. Use other frames of reference, for instance "Last year", "When you were a child", "When you were in high school", etc. If you have to use this, say "before you came out as current gender", or "Before you began transitioning" (if applicable). Use language appropriate to the person's gender. Use the words for their proper gender, not the one they were formerly assigned. If they identify as a woman (MtF - male-to-female), use feminine words like she, her, actress, waitress, etc. If they identify as a man (FtM - female-to-male), use masculine terms like he, his, etc. (Unless they say otherwise.) Use the name they ask you to use. Your friend Jack has just come out as a transgender person, and now wishes to be called Chloe. From this point on, you do not say "This is my friend Jack, I've known him since grade school." Instead, you say, "This is my friend Chloe, we've known one another since grade school, and it's great you're finally getting to meet her." Table any awkwardness you feel for another time when you and Chloe can talk privately. Definitely, if you want to remain friends, you will need to respect Chloe's wishes and address her as who she is today, not the person you used to know. You are introduced to Chris by a mutual friend, Dani. You've heard Dani refer to Chris as a woman, but you see that Chris is clearly trying to pass as a man, even if not too convincingly yet. Pay careful attention to the way Dani addresses Chris, and if you realize Chris is one and the same person you've heard Dani talk about in the past, make sure you don't say so until you and Dani are alone somewhere. In the meantime, you should refer to Chris as "he" or "him" and not ask a lot of questions unless you sense openness to them. If and when Chris wants to come out to you, he will. I am very close with someone who is transgendered. She is not quite as sensitive as this article says some are. I just thought it was really weird to see this just lumped in with the other "how to's."  "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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Thanks for that.
I didn't know some of it, and will try and remember it. I've not known anyone transgender personally, but I do empathize with what they go through. known to not known edit [Edited 1/12/08 13:15pm] | |
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You're welcome, Imago. It is very hard, and I have had my friend come over in tears because of the way people flat out ridiculed her on the train or bus. Humans can be very mean to each other. 
Warnings
Do not call a non-transgender person a "real" or "normal" girl/boy etc. What makes a man a "real" man or a woman a "real" woman is their mind/brain, not their body. (very good point)  A transman is no less a real man and a transwoman is no less a real woman; the only difference is that their body does not match their gender. Instead, use terms such as non-trans or cisgender people.
Never tell them that people will not understand or love them because they were not born the right gender outside. It hurts very badly, and is not true. Many, if not most, transgendered people are understood, accepted and loved. Even if you have objections to transgenderedness, you should always respect the person and never willfully embarrass them publicly. Embarrassing or humiliating the person does no good for anyone. "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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noimageatall said: You're welcome, Imago. It is very hard, and I have had my friend come over in tears because of the way people flat out ridiculed her on the train or bus. Humans can be very mean to each other.
Warnings
Do not call a non-transgender person a "real" or "normal" girl/boy etc. What makes a man a "real" man or a woman a "real" woman is their mind/brain, not their body. (very good point) A transman is no less a real man and a transwoman is no less a real woman; the only difference is that their body does not match their gender. Instead, use terms such as non-trans or cisgender people.
Never tell them that people will not understand or love them because they were not born the right gender outside. It hurts very badly, and is not true. Many, if not most, transgendered people are understood, accepted and loved. Even if you have objections to transgenderedness, you should always respect the person and never willfully embarrass them publicly. Embarrassing or humiliating the person does no good for anyone. I absolutely *HATE* that. Growing up in Alabama, I faced all sorts of ridicule and torment as child and early teenager that till this day I am extremely sensative to all sorts of underpresented groups. I mean, if I went through what I did as an Asian American, I can only imagine what these people go through. Truly sad. Compassion is NOT that difficult to practice. People really need to clear their minds of such poisonous thoughts. They really really do.
All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain? - The Buddha  | |
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I love the Tranformers! Can't wait for the next movie. 
I do respect them. | |
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Imago said: noimageatall said: You're welcome, Imago. It is very hard, and I have had my friend come over in tears because of the way people flat out ridiculed her on the train or bus. Humans can be very mean to each other.
I absolutely *HATE* that. Growing up in Alabama, I faced all sorts of ridicule and torment as child and early teenager that till this day I am extremely sensative to all sorts of underpresented groups. I mean, if I went through what I did as an Asian American, I can only imagine what these people go through. Truly sad. Compassion is NOT that difficult to practice. People really need to clear their minds of such poisonous thoughts. They really really do.
All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain? - The Buddha I hate it too. Although I'm as white as a ghost,  I can relate. I grew up in South Carolina, and the town I lived in was very racially devided. I can remember as a little child still seeing the words "colored" and "white" on bathroom doors at the drs office. And I'm not that old! At the age of 7, I remember thinking that was somehow wrong, and got in all kinds of trouble at that office because I went and sat on the "colored" side. I was always a difficult child. 
As a teenager, I had a girlfriend who tried to date a Black kid on the DL, and her brothers found out and took her in the woods and beat the crap out of her. Beat her so badly, she couldn't come to school for a week. ME? I'm the dummy who did it out in the open.  I was called every nasty name but a child of God, and had someone who used to be a good "friend" throw a Coke bottle at me on the schoolbus for sitting with my best friend, Patrina, who happened to be Black.
I have had my children called half-breeds right to my face. And I'm sorry, but I was younger and more hot-tempered then....and I had to bitch slap the girl.  "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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