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PrintableMoniGram said: I want to thank everyone for posting, being there, and giving me support. I promise to get to all of your comments. But right now...I need to cry, drink, and cry some more.
But you all will never know just how much all this love and support has meant to me. I took a chance on a younger man of a different culture, and sadly I got hurt. But I know he will miss me, and my smile, my laugh, and all the love I gave him. I know it's easy to say this is his loss...but how come I am the one crying..and he is the one with the new gf?  If he was forced into it, do you think he really gives a shit about her? What he's up to is 100% fraud. At least you were real. No matter the outcome, you can ALWAYS be proud of that honey  2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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I'm not gonna punch! I will give love, hugs, and a nice cup of herbal tea. You weren't stupid. You took a chance against cultural odds. Of course it hurts like hell right now. You've got a right to feel hurt. You've also got a right to be loved and appreciated. It really is his loss. Pressure tests love, you know. Since I don't know you, him, or the situation, that well, I'll avoid the usual profanity and "men are..." banter. I'll spare you that and give you pure e-love.  It never is easy to come to find someone you've been with for so long has someone. ESPECIALLY so fast. I've been there myself quite a few times (With the cultural situation involved in one of them.) Even without the fact that there was pressure and marital obligations, there's always a risk of the unfortunate in love. When we break up with people, there's a lesson to be learned. Sometimes it's right there, sometimes it takes a while to see it. (just can't stop hugging you) I hate to sound like some sort of cliche kiddo, but, things will work out and things will heal. It won't be overnight. As you sort out, let out, and shed tears, things will slowly pick themselves up. I'm sorry this happened. I may not understand to the fullest about who he was to you (and vice versa), but....this still something I can almost understand. We've all taken a chance on love in one way or another.
However.... I've seen your pictures at least twice, three times and some. You are SO pretty! Seriously, I had to smack my own hand from flirting. Your smile is so bright and pretty like you'd be loads of fun to hang with as a friend or something more. A pic says a thousand words. It may sound weird coming from me (I'm practically a stranger!!) but reading what you're going through, I really couldn't avoid saying something nice to you. I really wanted to. Even though it's e-support, I give it with full force.  | |
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LadyLuvSexxy said: I'm not gonna punch! I will give love, hugs, and a nice cup of herbal tea. You weren't stupid. You took a chance against cultural odds. Of course it hurts like hell right now. You've got a right to feel hurt. You've also got a right to be loved and appreciated. It really is his loss. Pressure tests love, you know. Since I don't know you, him, or the situation, that well, I'll avoid the usual profanity and "men are..." banter. I'll spare you that and give you pure e-love.
It never is easy to come to find someone you've been with for so long has someone. ESPECIALLY so fast. I've been there myself quite a few times (With the cultural situation involved in one of them.) Even without the fact that there was pressure and marital obligations, there's always a risk of the unfortunate in love. When we break up with people, there's a lesson to be learned. Sometimes it's right there, sometimes it takes a while to see it. (just can't stop hugging you) I hate to sound like some sort of cliche kiddo, but, things will work out and things will heal. It won't be overnight. As you sort out, let out, and shed tears, things will slowly pick themselves up. I'm sorry this happened. I may not understand to the fullest about who he was to you (and vice versa), but....this still something I can almost understand. We've all taken a chance on love in one way or another.
However.... I've seen your pictures at least twice, three times and some. You are SO pretty! Seriously, I had to smack my own hand from flirting. Your smile is so bright and pretty like you'd be loads of fun to hang with as a friend or something more. A pic says a thousand words. It may sound weird coming from me (I'm practically a stranger!!) but reading what you're going through, I really couldn't avoid saying something nice to you. I really wanted to. Even though it's e-support, I give it with full force. 
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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MoniGram said: FarrahMoan said: This makes my blood run cold. I don't even...."MY GOD!!!!" I was seriously hoping that it might be something less stressful like you're dog possibly having rabies or your fish died. But, it was cupid, ruthlessly detaching his arrow with slow precision of a thrust from your heart. I want to cry with you. I want us to lie a head on each other's shoulder. This makes me feel transgression of a numb emotion that hides, curdling under my murky subconscious. I want to give you the blessing of better love. Of a heart, shining and new. I wish I could rejuvenate you. Why does the sky's blue steer clear when there's rain? Just so God can trade turquoise traps of giant, pappy cream cheese puddles to hazel strips of Maine? From gray to the grain. Whole wheat on the ryes. Heartfelt chlorine giggles and tactless goodbyes. He still died for the tears in your eyes. But, I'm just surprised. Why do some have to have a palpable center? Can't we all share a weakness with Moni only for the Winter. Peace will coincide. Your love will subside. It's never too late to fight for what help and held your golden deep pride. Please live for me, now. Moni. Please hold onto a spirit that won't let go. Hold onto your heart, and you never know.....
Wow! No words... It's okay, honey! I agree with Supa. I don't think it was meant to be "TOTALLY" understood. I was typing moreso from the heart than I was the mind. I hope I didn't waste the possible space. But, I sincerely wish you the best of luck and it will all be better if you hold on to what you do have and hold onto your aspirations, hopes, and dreams even moreso than you did, with or without that one that used to be your male counterpart and confidante. You've just gotta make it.....kind of like that Trey Songz guy.  | |
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FarrahMoan said: MoniGram said: Wow! No words... It's okay, honey! I agree with Supa. I don't think it was meant to be "TOTALLY" understood. I was typing moreso from the heart than I was the mind. I hope I didn't waste the possible space. But, I sincerely wish you the best of luck and it will all be better if you hold on to what you do have and hold onto your aspirations, hopes, and dreams even moreso than you did, with or without that one that used to be your male counterpart and confidante. You've just gotta make it.....kind of like that Trey Songz guy. I do thank you for your words...I really do. I can't believe how many org people care about me.
edit..because my brain is mush. [Edited 12/5/07 20:50pm] Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Awwww... | |
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Awww Moni 
Your story literally brought tears to my eyes, that was messed up of him to leave you hangin' like that. I understand certain families have certain traditions and whatnot but I feel that if your grown you should make your own decisions, not do something just because your family thinks it's right.Especially if you love someone-why can't that just be enough? Why does everyone have to make things so complicated, just because your not vietnamese.....so what! He's a grown man and he's knows right from wrong, if he really loved you he wouldn't have hurt you like that. I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart that you have to go through this! All  girl!surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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Oh honey, this is breaking my heart. So very sorry.
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I went through something similar last year, and I think (for me) the hardest part of it was feeling like things went from "great" to "way fucked up" within a day, without my having said or done a thing differently, and wondering how in the world my instincts could've been so off. Further contact with him wasn't possible, so I couldn't get any explanation or closure, either, so I was creating all of these crazy reasons "why?!" in my mind. Sometimes the imagination is worse than reality.
I know that sick feeling in the pit of your gut. I wish you peace of heart and mind.  [Edited 12/5/07 21:34pm] AKA, AnotherLoverToo | |
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MoniGram said: Imago said: Moni, you beautiful woman. You deserve so much better.
 Thank you Dan Now to figure out..how does one move on?A lot of crying, a bit of drinking, going about life pretending to be normal and time. I'm so sorry to hear, Moni. Broken hearts are possibly the worst possible thing to go through. |
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It's a bit after midnight right now, and even after a couple of glasses of wine, and a few sleeping pills, my mind won't shut off. Earlier today, I went for a drive, and for a tiny second I thought, 'wow, it would take nothing to turn this wheel into that semi'
OMG! I am losing my mind! This hurts so bad! Thought are going thru my mind. Thinking of that Sunday we were together...all cuddled on his bed, him moving the hair from my eye..and saying how beautiful I was, and how lucky he was. This was just two Sundays ago. How does one stop loving someone over night??? Then that following Tuesday we were watching Ghostrider..and he says.."babe, we need our own tree, so we can carve our name into it. So it will last for life, like us' WTF?!? Dear God...I need someone...and I have no one to talk to! That man was my life, my best friend. And if I would have been hurting like this last week, I would have called him, and he would have made it right. Now what? What am I going to do? I know I need to buck it up. I have my kids..and my beautiful granddaughter...but I can't stop hurting! I feel played, used, I feel so beyond stupid it's not funny! Was I so blind to all of this? Or did I just push it off as...it's Andy being Andy? Why did I have to fall in love? I knew better! Really, what would a man like Andy, want with a woman like me. 3 kids, becoming a Granny, 36, I am not a huge catch. How dumb was that? But I got caught up in this handsome, strong, 29 yr old man, saying I was beautiful. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! OMG! The only thing stopping me right now from taking more sleeping pills is my son sleeping in his room! I just want this to stop! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Honey,none of this is your fault "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
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Moni, be careful do not mix pills and drink. You are very beautiful and a very nice lady that was hurt by a guy that is not worth your pain. When you feel like you do right now, sign on here, there should always be one of us around to hold your hand, be tough my friend. | |
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I think the best revenge is moving on, not letting him know he has broken your heart. | |
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PaisleyPark5083 said: I think the best revenge is moving on, not letting him know he has broken your heart.
To late Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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PaisleyPark5083 said: I think the best revenge is moving on, not letting him know he has broken your heart.
Yeah Moni, don't let this guy's foolish ways bring you down so much. You have a precious little baby girl on the way from your daughter and they all need you. Don't let his thoughtless acts push you over the edge! surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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MoniGram said: It's a bit after midnight right now, and even after a couple of glasses of wine, and a few sleeping pills, my mind won't shut off. Earlier today, I went for a drive, and for a tiny second I thought, 'wow, it would take nothing to turn this wheel into that semi'
OMG! I am losing my mind! This hurts so bad! Thought are going thru my mind. Thinking of that Sunday we were together...all cuddled on his bed, him moving the hair from my eye..and saying how beautiful I was, and how lucky he was. This was just two Sundays ago. How does one stop loving someone over night??? Then that following Tuesday we were watching Ghostrider..and he says.."babe, we need our own tree, so we can carve our name into it. So it will last for life, like us' WTF?!? Dear God...I need someone...and I have no one to talk to! That man was my life, my best friend. And if I would have been hurting like this last week, I would have called him, and he would have made it right. Now what? What am I going to do? I know I need to buck it up. I have my kids..and my beautiful granddaughter...but I can't stop hurting! I feel played, used, I feel so beyond stupid it's not funny! Was I so blind to all of this? Or did I just push it off as...it's Andy being Andy? Why did I have to fall in love? I knew better! Really, what would a man like Andy, want with a woman like me. 3 kids, becoming a Granny, 36, I am not a huge catch. How dumb was that? But I got caught up in this handsome, strong, 29 yr old man, saying I was beautiful. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! OMG! The only thing stopping me right now from taking more sleeping pills is my son sleeping in his room! I just want this to stop! I know it's tough, but do something to try to get your mind off this for now... watch some tv. Play a computer game... Once you've had a little break from thinking about this, you'll gain some perspective and see that things are ok... [Edited 12/5/07 23:04pm] | |
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KidaDynamite said: PaisleyPark5083 said: I think the best revenge is moving on, not letting him know he has broken your heart.
Yeah Moni, don't let this guy's foolish ways bring you down so much. You have a precious little baby girl on the way from your daughter and they all need you. Don't let his thoughtless acts push you over the edge! Then how do I get my mind to shut off? I want it to stop! I want to stop crying! I want to stop thinking about tomorrow morning when I won't get my morning call..or my email saying...'How are we today beautiful' I dont want to cry at silly things I see on TV! I want it to all STOP! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Oh my goooood!
Mami, I sooo sorry. I wish you could come over for a good old fashioned bitch & moan- hen party night...I always keep a couple of fifths of liquor around and I SWEAR I can bake a chocolate cake from scratch in 50 minutes flat in times of emergency 
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coolcat said: MoniGram said: It's a bit after midnight right now, and even after a couple of glasses of wine, and a few sleeping pills, my mind won't shut off. Earlier today, I went for a drive, and for a tiny second I thought, 'wow, it would take nothing to turn this wheel into that semi'
OMG! I am losing my mind! This hurts so bad! Thought are going thru my mind. Thinking of that Sunday we were together...all cuddled on his bed, him moving the hair from my eye..and saying how beautiful I was, and how lucky he was. This was just two Sundays ago. How does one stop loving someone over night??? Then that following Tuesday we were watching Ghostrider..and he says.."babe, we need our own tree, so we can carve our name into it. So it will last for life, like us' WTF?!? Dear God...I need someone...and I have no one to talk to! That man was my life, my best friend. And if I would have been hurting like this last week, I would have called him, and he would have made it right. Now what? What am I going to do? I know I need to buck it up. I have my kids..and my beautiful granddaughter...but I can't stop hurting! I feel played, used, I feel so beyond stupid it's not funny! Was I so blind to all of this? Or did I just push it off as...it's Andy being Andy? Why did I have to fall in love? I knew better! Really, what would a man like Andy, want with a woman like me. 3 kids, becoming a Granny, 36, I am not a huge catch. How dumb was that? But I got caught up in this handsome, strong, 29 yr old man, saying I was beautiful. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! OMG! The only thing stopping me right now from taking more sleeping pills is my son sleeping in his room! I just want this to stop! I know it's tough, but do something to try to get your mind off this for now... watch some tv. Play a computer game... Once you've had a little break from thinking about this, you'll gain some perspective and see that things are ok... [Edited 12/5/07 23:04pm] I tried TV..and I cry...I try to play games..and I can only think of everything I just deleted off my puter. This SUCKS! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Ottensen said: Oh my goooood!
Mami, I sooo sorry. I wish you could come over for a good old fashioned bitch & moan- hen party night...I always keep a couple of fifths of liquor around and I SWEAR I can bake a chocolate cake from scratch in 50 minutes flat in times of emergency
liquor, cake, and a friend..sounds so good right now. can we add a warm blankie to this too? man i need friends right now..but i dont' have many..he was my life..my focus each day. to be honest..all i have right now...are you people here on the org. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: KidaDynamite said: Yeah Moni, don't let this guy's foolish ways bring you down so much. You have a precious little baby girl on the way from your daughter and they all need you. Don't let his thoughtless acts push you over the edge! Then how do I get my mind to shut off? I want it to stop! I want to stop crying! I want to stop thinking about tomorrow morning when I won't get my morning call..or my email saying...'How are we today beautiful' I dont want to cry at silly things I see on TV! I want it to all STOP! I can't say that I know how you feel so i'm not gonna pretend. But some of us go through very tough times and don't know how to deal,some of us don't even have things to look foward to and they push on just for the hell of it. But you have a loving family that cares about you and a future family member who is just gonna love having her "memaw" around. You said it hurts and I believe you but you also have to think about you.....he's not worth your tears babe! surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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KidaDynamite said: MoniGram said: Then how do I get my mind to shut off? I want it to stop! I want to stop crying! I want to stop thinking about tomorrow morning when I won't get my morning call..or my email saying...'How are we today beautiful' I dont want to cry at silly things I see on TV! I want it to all STOP! I can't say that I know how you feel so i'm not gonna pretend. But some of us go through very tough times and don't know how to deal,some of us don't even have things to look foward to and they push on just for the hell of it. But you have a loving family that cares about you and a future family member who is just gonna love having her "memaw" around. You said it hurts and I believe you but you also have to think about you.....he's not worth your tears babe! I know there are others, dealing with worse. I tell myself that, my troubles are a drop in a bucket to others. And I know this man doesn't deserve my tears...I know all this..but my heart won't stop. The memories won't stop coming in my head. I wish I could hate Andy right now! I would rather feel the hate, then all this hurt. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Moni
Please be careful. Do not do anything to hurt yourself. Don't mix pills and alcohol. Don't take too many. Don't drink too much. The way you're talking is a little scary right now. Please just go to bed and sleep this off. | |
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hokie1 said: Moni
Please be careful. Do not do anything to hurt yourself. Don't mix pills and alcohol. Don't take too many. Don't drink too much. The way you're talking is a little scary right now. Please just go to bed and sleep this off. I can't sleep hun! I have tried..only to bawl my eyes out in bed, because of something I saw on TV. Or I start thinking of the last time he was laying next to me! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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| that sucks.
There are other fish in the sea...cliche I know, but it's what my mom said to me when me and my girlfriend broke up  Maybe we can go to the movies and cry together | |
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MoniGram said: hokie1 said: Moni
Please be careful. Do not do anything to hurt yourself. Don't mix pills and alcohol. Don't take too many. Don't drink too much. The way you're talking is a little scary right now. Please just go to bed and sleep this off. I can't sleep hun! I have tried..only to bawl my eyes out in bed, because of something I saw on TV. Or I start thinking of the last time he was laying next to me! Ok, I understand...Can you promise that you will stop drinking and/or taking the pills? I'm just concerned for your safety dear. | |
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hokie1 said: MoniGram said: I can't sleep hun! I have tried..only to bawl my eyes out in bed, because of something I saw on TV. Or I start thinking of the last time he was laying next to me! Ok, I understand...Can you promise that you will stop drinking and/or taking the pills? I'm just concerned for your safety dear. Exactly. surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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hokie1 said: MoniGram said: I can't sleep hun! I have tried..only to bawl my eyes out in bed, because of something I saw on TV. Or I start thinking of the last time he was laying next to me! Ok, I understand...Can you promise that you will stop drinking and/or taking the pills? I'm just concerned for your safety dear. I will try Hokie...I really will. I just want the pills I have taken to kick in..or that wine to do it's job. Damn wine and drugs!!!!! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: hokie1 said: Ok, I understand...Can you promise that you will stop drinking and/or taking the pills? I'm just concerned for your safety dear. I will try Hokie...I really will. I just want the pills I have taken to kick in..or that wine to do it's job. Damn wine and drugs!!!!! No trying Moni. You CANNOT take anymore pills or drink anymore. Is there anyone in your house? Your kids and your new granddaughter need you. The only thing you'll accomplish by hurting yourself is hurt them. Your kids will think that they weren't a good enough reason for you to fight to live. Don't hurt yourself. I know you are hurting. Believe me I've been through my share lately. I know how bad it hurts. It will pass though. I promise. And, it will get a tiny bit easier with each passing day. PROMISE ME MONI.... [Edited 12/5/07 23:42pm] | |
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