I was just so happy last night, that I was calm enough to actually go to sleep, I felt this is getting better. This is going to be okay. But I woke up crying my eyes out this morning. Not just crying...we are talking down right sobbing my eyes out.

I just don't understand, why I have to be missing his stupid ass so much. I know he is hurting, but I highly doubt his world is falling apart. I can barely eat, I forced a bit of food in my stomach last night, and each bite made me wanted to vomit. I am working on the same bottle of water the day he broke up with me. My lips are chapped, my body aches, and I am trying real hard to be strong..but I am losing this battle!

I just want to climb into bed, curl up in a ball, and just wish this all away. I want last week back dammit! I want last month back! I want my Andy back! I want to smile, and laugh, and feel loved again!

I know, I know..I shouldn't give this to him, I shouldn't give this break up so much of my pain and hurt. But after all that time together, I can't help it. Right now...he should have been on the phone with me, talking to me from the airport waiting for his parent's plane to come in from Vietnam. When his parents left for Vietnam..he called me at 4:30am so we could talk...so he could say how much he was going to miss his Mom. We laughed and this crazy hour. He said things like..see babe, I need you to help me thru hard times..like missing my Mommy, and worrying about her getting there safe.

Well dammit, this is my hard time! Where is my Andy?? Where is my support?? I am left alone, why he moves on with his new Asian gf! So he can make the life his parents WANT! So why this woman is getting my phone calls, and my test messages, and my Andy, I sit here typing on this forum, feeling alone and scared that my life will never be the same.

but you know what, even with him wondering that, our well-wishing is still genuine. We have known you to be very much in love, so we feel it when you tell us this terrible news

I know you loved him very much. As others have said, it's his loss for letting you go to date some other woman that his parents wanted him to date. The fact that he can't stand up to his parents and do what he wants to do with his life tells me that he's not man enough for you (he's a wuss). In time, you'll find someone better.

This is exactly how I was feeling. I know you all don't know me on that personal level, but I feel you all know me in some way or another. Everyone's kind words are helping me. Just writing down my emotions are helping me. I won't let him ruin that! So thank you Charlotte for reminding me of this.

I never would have let myself fall in love with Andy, if I knew he was going to do this. When we first started dating..I thought, Moni, better just use this boy for fun, he is Asian and will never be yours. Then one night, we were laying in bed..and we were talking...and I said...Andy, someday you are going to want kids, and a wife, and a life of your own. And you will need to stop dating me and start finding you a little Vietnamese girl. He said..Nope, I want to marry who I want to marry. I don't like Asian women. That was last November when he told me that...and that is when I fell in love with him. I let my guard down, and let my heart love him. Because I thought, just maybe he is my one! That one I have been looking for. Just a couple of weeks ago he mentioned the same thing...one day at a time babe, if we are meant to be, we will be together.. just know I love you!

Today I picked up my son from school, and I started crying so hard waiting for him. I thought, why couldnt' I have been the woman he needed. Young, asian, and something his parents would want. Why can't my love for him be enough? If they only knew what a good woman I am, see how much I love their son, how I would take care of him...and I would have found a way to have those babies, if that meant adopting, or having someone else give birth to them. I would have wanted to have those babies.

But...no good crying over something that can't be...but I can't help crying for what I once had.

Crying is good, you need to cry, and get your emotions out. You are a strong woman, and you will get through this. Maybe you don't feel that way now, but I know that you will survive and find someone who loves you for who you are.

Eventhough it's a sad, unhappy subject, I'm very touched to see so much love and compassion here, and I do believe it's genuine..

licks + kisses for you, moni..

Eventhough it's a sad, unhappy subject, I'm very touched to see so much love and compassion here, and I do believe it's genuine..

licks + kisses for you, moni..

Thanks for the licks and kisses hun!

I am thankful for everyone that has posted on this thread. It keeps my mind busy, lets me vent, and I don't feel so alone! Hopefully, I won't need it so much. Where I will be able to write...guess what everyone..Moni is happy, smiling, feeling sexy, and ready to photowhore! But until then...I am just so grateful I have this thread..and grateful to each and everyone of you.

Eventhough it's a sad, unhappy subject, I'm very touched to see so much love and compassion here, and I do believe it's genuine..

licks + kisses for you, moni..

Obviously he is not the strong man that you are...which is ONE of the many reasons I admire the man you are today.

You're making me blush... How ya doin' over there...hanging in?

Hi ya!!

Thanks for the licks and kisses hun!

I am thankful for everyone that has posted on this thread. It keeps my mind busy, lets me vent, and I don't feel so alone! Hopefully, I won't need it so much. Where I will be able to write...guess what everyone..Moni is happy, smiling, feeling sexy, and ready to photowhore! But until then...I am just so grateful I have this thread..and grateful to each and everyone of you.

Not dsiing, but how many of these posters do you personally know?

That was just down right mean! Now I feel I can't even come here. I am sorry that my thread is some kind of way to help me heal. And I might not no anyone of these posters personally, but this place, this thread was a way of helping me heal!
[Edited 12/7/07 3:59am]

But I have done so much crying, I am surprised Norman hasn't flooded yet. I know I will make it..but like I said..I wish we would have fought, then maybe this wouldn't be so hard. That way I could be mad, but instead I just keep thinking..here is this man who loves me, and I love him, and we can't be together because I am not Asian! WTF? Stay in damn Vietnam if you wanted your children to marry the same race!

But I have done so much crying, I am surprised Norman hasn't flooded yet. I know I will make it..but like I said..I wish we would have fought, then maybe this wouldn't be so hard. That way I could be mad, but instead I just keep thinking..here is this man who loves me, and I love him, and we can't be together because I am not Asian! WTF? Stay in damn Vietnam if you wanted your children to marry the same race!

That was just down right mean! Now I feel I can't even come here. I am sorry that my thread is some kind of way to help me heal. And I might not no anyone of these posters personally, but this place, this thread was a way of helping me heal!
[Edited 12/7/07 3:59am]

I was just so happy last night, that I was calm enough to actually go to sleep, I felt this is getting better. This is going to be okay. But I woke up crying my eyes out this morning. Not just crying...we are talking down right sobbing my eyes out.

I just don't understand, why I have to be missing his stupid ass so much. I know he is hurting, but I highly doubt his world is falling apart. I can barely eat, I forced a bit of food in my stomach last night, and each bite made me wanted to vomit. I am working on the same bottle of water the day he broke up with me. My lips are chapped, my body aches, and I am trying real hard to be strong..but I am losing this battle!

I just want to climb into bed, curl up in a ball, and just wish this all away. I want last week back dammit! I want last month back! I want my Andy back! I want to smile, and laugh, and feel loved again!

I know, I know..I shouldn't give this to him, I shouldn't give this break up so much of my pain and hurt. But after all that time together, I can't help it. Right now...he should have been on the phone with me, talking to me from the airport waiting for his parent's plane to come in from Vietnam. When his parents left for Vietnam..he called me at 4:30am so we could talk...so he could say how much he was going to miss his Mom. We laughed and this crazy hour. He said things like..see babe, I need you to help me thru hard times..like missing my Mommy, and worrying about her getting there safe.

Well dammit, this is my hard time! Where is my Andy?? Where is my support?? I am left alone, why he moves on with his new Asian gf! So he can make the life his parents WANT! So why this woman is getting my phone calls, and my test messages, and my Andy, I sit here typing on this forum, feeling alone and scared that my life will never be the same.

Not to disrespect your ex, but he still calls his mom "Mommy"? :wtf: I'm starting to wonder if he's a mama's boy, between his still referring to his mother as "Mommy" and breaking off the relationship with you to date someone that his "Mommy" wanted him to date. You don't need a mama's boy, you need a real man, one who will stand beside you and want to date you and not someone his "Mommy" wants him to go out with.

That was just down right mean! Now I feel I can't even come here. I am sorry that my thread is some kind of way to help me heal. And I might not no anyone of these posters personally, but this place, this thread was a way of helping me heal!
[Edited 12/7/07 3:59am]

Just a slice of reality, you should be seeking comfort in your friends...not faceless people on the internet.