I went to the movies today and while I was in line waiting to buy nachos with cheese I noticed that one of the girls behind the counter obviously had had an accident with hot water or something else causing her to have a lot of scar tissue on her chin and neck. I didn't take much notice of it, but then I heard a young couple behind us say (quote) "hey look at her, how can they hire her to serve food and drinks with a chin like that." (unquote) I was utterly shocked and wanted to confront them but I didn't cuz I'm a fucking coward

Now, I doubt she'll ever read this. But I have the utmost respect for this girl for standing up against prejudices and daring to come out against a world that is full of superficial people. I can only imagine the amount of whispers she hears every single day. She (allthough I don't know her and I probably will never see her again) is one of the small heroes we meet every day and can make our life special.

If only I had a little supa in me ... I could've done it :'(

My question : do you judge people superficially or do you give everybody the time and space to be theirselves around you ?

I try not to judge people at all.

every and anybody can be themselves around me and not have to worry about being judged or talked about.










oh and I always wish i had a little supa in me too

PEJ said:

I don't think that's possible ... there's a point in time you give everybody a place ...

One4All4Ever said:

People should never judge anyone, it is not right and unfair. Everyone should take each other as they R. give everyone the time and space around me.

do not worry One4, the world is a nasty place.

I try to give ppl the same respect that I would like to receive.

I have had skin issues since I was 14 and I know what it is like to feel embarrassed in public. I think it is so mean to say things like that.

None of us are perfect. Though some ppl seem to think that they are.

DanceWme said:

to make it clear : I meant his spirit, the way he is able to stand up for people and be there.

Respect dude (this may eventually end up in a supa appreciation thread, and I wouldn't even care ,))

it's tacky of them to say that and strong of her to go out like that. If it was me, I would be covering it up or investing in some kind of plastic surgery to cover it up, I gotta give it to her for being strong

shanti0608 said:

Same for me.

shanti0608 said:

that's exactly what I thought ... they could easily have an accident on the way home or get burned one way or another. Would they like people to talk about them like that ? How would them pretty DKNY, D&G, Versace nobodies HANDLE THAT.

One4All4Ever said:

You tryin to get me to superficialy judge you?

jess555ja said:

It is the only way to be.

I saw the most beautiful girl many months ago who must have been maybe 11 or 12 years of age (just before puberty I think), who had a spinal issue of some type, that required her to be in a rolling/walker type of contraption.

Now, I was feeling rather sorry for myself at the gym for not reaching any of the goals I had set forth for myself, and rather pissed off, just prior to her walking in front of me, following who I assume was her dad.

She had the most beautiful smile, and biggest brown eyes I'd ever seen--just adorable. But her body was bent, and a bit twisted, and her legs weren't straight. None of this seemed to deter her from what seemed like a real treat--that is, spending some quality time with her father(?) and exercising on neat gym equipment.

I left the gym that day and bursted out in tears. I'm not one who pity's just for the sake of it, but I kept thinking to myself, how could there be a just god if he's so willing to twist the body of such a beautiful creature? And just on the verge of her adolescent years, how would such a fragile looking thing have the strength to withstand those years of self-doubt that we all struggled with, but with the added dimension of her condition?

And how dare I feel down on myself and my own struggles because of this. It made me put everything in perspective for a long long season. I just wish I could always keep that mindset. I guess this thread has helped.

Thanks.




And for those of you who have not clicked on the "Dancing Queen" thread yet, I think you're assholes. Thanks.

One4All4Ever said:

I Know what you are saying but some ppl have the attitude that things like that can't happen to them.

It pisses me off too....the same with ppl that judge the homeless and call them scum....it could happen to anyone.

Why I don't get is why was someone with scars not acceptable to be serving food or drinks? Did they think her some of her scar would fall off on their order?

Imago said:

Dan,

you are one of the most scary good people I've ever known ...

cunt.

JustErin said:

exactly (I typed this word three times before I got it right )


Erin typo edit
[Edited 11/30/07 15:23pm]

One4All4Ever said:

I guess they thought she looked repulsive, and when you see something repulsive you usually lose your appetite, which would then mean that people might be less inclined to buy food and drinks from her.

I agree that it was good on her to stand up against such reactions though, and I hope the occasional staring didn't totally destroy her self-confidence.

you don't have to say anything, glaring and rolling your eyes at people does wonders in telling them to fuck off sometimes. what assholes.

retina said:

I'm sure it didn't cuz she seemed happy and relaxed. Still in that reaction of those people lies the exact same cause of racism and any other ism that differentiates people by external observations.

Why are you making an issue of it? Playing on your mind?

I don't like to judge people, because I wouldn't want to be judged! I try and be nice to everyone, and get to know who they are! If you don't do that, you can miss out on meeting a wonderful person, who can add so much to your life!

evenstar said:

I've also seen people with disabilities totally ignored in grocery isles, etc. I remember one morning, I had just gotten laid the night before (and this ones one of those uber steller wonderful lays) so I was in this beaming good mood. Anyways, I'm walking down the isle looking for Ramen Noodles (I was in the military and poor as hell at that time), and there was this lady in a wheel chair going by. I smiled at her and almost said good morning, but then realized that she wouldn't meet my gaze. Very awkward since there was a display thingy blocking part of the row, and so we more or less had to make our way around each other.

It dawned on me that when they're not being gawked at, they're essentially invisible.
I remember some female author saying that once she turned 50, she pretty much became invisible to men. Though the story she told was sort of humorous, it did point out what vain animals we are. We pretend to be descended from the divine, but we're really just noble beasts if you think about it.


You guys should check out my Dancing Queen thread.

Imago said:

You're so right. All the time.

Imago said:

Hahahahahahahahahaha! That's so funny I almost wet myself. Not because of my age: the concept, one needs a man's attention, to feel good about themself.

i will admit that in a similar situation, i would "register" a person's atypical physical feature, but i also like to think that life experience and good home training taught me to have a little voice that quickly says "ok, so this person has a scar/deformity/second head/whatever; big deal, get over it." and that little voice can pop in and out in the flutter of an eyelid, but i'd be lying to say that such features don't register in some way when i come across them. i think it's relative, though. how many of us get gawked at all the time when we don't think there's anything at ALL different about us, but the general masses are like "wow, look at THAT freak." i guess i'm saying we should be careful who we point and stare at, because someone might be pointing and staring at us too.

I don't judge anyone, and people who do are all criminals!

We all notice stuff like that (like the guy in the liquor store who had 11 fingers), but after the instinctive moment of reaction, let's judge her on her serving skills, right?

Amazing how people don't realize that in one second we could be the ones in a wheel chair or with scars on our necks.

Ok.. I'm going to be very, very frank... I can't believe it.. well I've had some wine with dinner so there ya go..

I don't know. I think it's more beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I just posted in another thread.. about being afraid to post my pic here..

The funny thing is that my husband think I'm "hot"! LOL... Then I'm sure other people have different opinions of whether I'm hot or not. Anyway, the thing is I don't think I'm attractive.. In fact. I don't like looking at pics of myself..

But.. what I find so interesting is that it doesn't really matter... I dunno.. I find people good-looking that aren't good-looking to other people and vice versa. So.. maybe it's just all subjective anyway?

And maybe when all is said and done.. we really go by personality as far as partners more than society wants us to believe. After all, all of the ads and stuff are trying to sell us a product, but I'm proud to say that in real life, most of us aren't buying it... I think "beauty" is what makes us feel comfortable--a connection. I'm GLAD most of us just go with what we find in someone's heart rather than on the surface.
[Edited 12/1/07 3:52am]

NDRU said:

exactly.