Of course, I know people who cry when they get angry which is very odd to me

ZombieKitten said:

Those I know aren't isolationists.....just sad all the time. Nothing makes them happy.....having a baby, being a successful professional, etc.....
I just want to shake one person particularily and say "Snap out of it!. We're around sick and dying people all the time! Why can't you be happy????"
Happy because: you're in good health, can get up everyday, and go to work, have a healthy child, a loving hubby.....
I don't take anything for granted.
There are some, with good reason to feel sad. Wife of 15 yrs bolted, left with no further contact.....people keep plugging along doing, doing what they need to to survive because others are dependant on it.
I don't know.
Maybe melancholy is selfish.

ZombieKitten said:

well, for one thing, i think it helps to think of sadness as less of a choice or an option, and more like a medical condition.

if someone has pneumonia for six weeks, we don't think "sheesh, get over it already!" we think, "wow, that person's really got it bad, i hope they can finally get better soon."
why can't we have that same attitude when someone is sad for six weeks? why is it all about "getting over it" and "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps"? i mean, yes, there IS a certain amount of discipline and effort involved in maintaining a positive outlook on life, sure - but sometimes certain factors make that kind of effort difficult to the point of impossibility. working out every day might reduce the chances of pneumonia, but not everyone leads a life that allows them to hit the gym every day. ya know?

Anxiety said:

Pneumonia is generally treatable with antibiotics. Health problems tend to be clear. Mental health problems, aren't.....
I have no problem with someone who's sad intermitantly. It's the chronic, functional, doom, and gloom that I don't get.
I think it takes a certain amount of effort to be negative, as well as positive.
Antidepressants can fix a chemical imbalance. I'm OK with someone deciding not to seek treatment. On the other hand....get used to being in the "odd" category.

ZombieKitten said:

I wouldn't say broken. Just not fixable in the near future.
I'm not being flippant.
Some enjoy their misery a little too much.

Anxiety said:

Pneumonia is generally treatable with antibiotics. Health problems tend to be clear. Mental health problems, aren't.....
I have no problem with someone who's sad intermitantly. It's the chronic, functional, doom, and gloom that I don't get.
I think it takes a certain amount of effort to be negative, as well as positive.
Antidepressants can fix a chemical imbalance. I'm OK with someone deciding not to seek treatment. On the other hand....get used to being in the "odd" category.

Lothan said:

i grew up around enough clinical depression in my family to realize that it's not just a case of someone being "down in the dumps".

xplnyrslf said:

yeah, because waking up wanting to die is fun. people really enjoy that. come on, you can't really believe that.

Anxiety said:

Oh, hell! My mom was flat out psychotic. She's be fine for 3 years, then need to be hospitalized for 3 months. No big deal. The family knew when she was becoming unstable. This was in the 60's, before mental illness was acknowledged. With current meds, she hasn't needed to be hospitalized in over 30 years. She had everything, including electro shock way back in the days.
But! She was never melancholy! Quite the opposite.
We weren't either. The small time community was pretty supportive.

xplnyrslf said:

isn't presumption just as selfish?

xplnyrslf said:

so normalcy is the goal here? what if i think normal people are depressing?

Anxiety said:

Go ahead, call me selfish....I can handle it. And I probably am!
I know why. I spent a lifetime growing up with someone who had no control over their mental health. Things are great now, in that situation.
On the other hand, I PUT MY TIME IN.

I don't like people to not help themselves, when they can. Stop wallowing in the friggin misery! Not for ME. For YOURSELF.

Anxiety said:

Go ahead, call me selfish....I can handle it. And I probably am!
I know why. I spent a lifetime growing up with someone who had no control over their mental health. Things are great now, in that situation.
On the other hand, I PUT MY TIME IN.

I don't like people to not help themselves, when they can. Stop wallowing in the friggin misery! Not for ME. For YOURSELF.

ZombieKitten said:

That's exactly it. It can be a very big drain. And it's not fun to hang out with someone when all they do is complain, have no interest in anything, no energy, etc. Of course, if it's someone you love, you put up with what you can and hope for the best. And try as much as you can to help, listen, etc. But you can't do that with someone ALL THE TIME. That's when it gets difficult.

xplnyrslf said:

my mother suffered from massive depression all throughout her life. when i was a child, i used to have to take care of her because she wouldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time, and if i didn't bring her food she would not bother to eat. never then and never now would i ever consider her depression a "choice" or something that she needed to "snap out of". if anything, her depression may have informed (in a useful way) any problems i may have, because when i slip into a dark patch, it helps me to consider that my sadness might be more abstract than i can analyze, and it's OKAY to ride it through. i think i was spared the chemical imbalances my mother had and i was CERTAINLY spared the abuses she suffered that led to some of her depression issues. but i grew up with an understanding that depression is not simple or selfish or indulgent. it's as much a sickness as any physical manifestation. it frustrates me when people won't acknowledge or accept this.
[Edited 10/24/07 18:56pm]

xplnyrslf said:

yeah, because waking up wanting to die is fun. people really enjoy that. come on, you can't really believe that.

xplnyrslf said:

i "put my time in" too, but i never thought of it as a form of community service. it was more like i helping a loved one survive because i thought that's what i was supposed to do.

everyone is selfish. mother theresa was selfish. the dalai lama is selfish. it's just a matter of how you define "selfish" and how you manifest it.

xplnyrslf said:

I actually thought that in your profession, you'd have compassion for people. i was wrong.

Anxiety said:

OK. Is this topic about depression???
I'm in the mode of: "those who feel sorry for themselves all the time."
NOT suicidal, not clinicly depressed.....
There's a big difference between an "annoyance" and "needing help".

Anxiety said:

Community service is a choice.

Lothan said:

You know nothing.

xplnyrslf said:

why do you think people "feel sorry for themselves all the time". where do you think that compulsion comes from? do you think it's more of an affectation than an actual emotional process?

when is sadness annoying and when can it be defined as "needing help"? who makes that call? by what rules?

you work in the medical profession, so i'm sure your insights on this thread will continue to prove enlightening to all of us.

Lothan said:

You know nothing.


If you surveyed those I take care of, the gamut of it all, the chronicly ill, the shot up gang members, pediatric oncology families, anyone that comes through our department. etc., you name it : they remember me in a positive way. It' not because of a "thank you", sometimes it's the look in their eyes. Like, relief.
[Edited 10/24/07 19:23pm]
[Edited 10/24/07 19:24pm]

Lothan said:

You know nothing.


If you surveyed those I take care of, the gamut of it all, the chronicly ill, the shot up gang members, pediatric oncology families, anyone that comes through our department. etc., you name it : they remember me in a positive way. It' not because of a "thank you", sometimes it's the look in their eyes. Like, relief.
[Edited 10/24/07 19:23pm]
[Edited 10/24/07 19:24pm]

xplnyrslf said:

why do you think people "feel sorry for themselves all the time". where do you think that compulsion comes from? do you think it's more of an affectation than an actual emotional process?

when is sadness annoying and when can it be defined as "needing help"? who makes that call? by what rules?

you work in the medical profession, so i'm sure your insights on this thread will continue to prove enlightening to all of us.

xplnyrslf said:

dismissing someone's mental state as an annoyance is another choice.

xplnyrslf said:

While you consider a person felling sorry for themselves annoying or whatever, that person may actually have a form of mental illness. Society tells them that getting help is for the weak or people who are medicated are "crazy". There is often no help for people who can't afford it.

Anxiety said:

No, all I'm doing is pissing everyone off with my contribution of combined personal philosophy, personal experience, and lousy communication regarding the level of melancholy.....
That's OK! If some here need a reason to get PO'd, I'm IT!