Belongs to the guy who took me on my (failed) driving test this morning. After pulling away from the test centre, I was immediately asked to turn left at a set of traffic lights. Spotting said obsticle ahead, I then indicated in the aforementioned direction, slowed down and dropped into 2nd gear awaiting the lights to go from red to green as I approached.
Then - bearing in mind this is only 12 seconds from when I began the test - I fucked up a wee bit. It was one of these traffic light sets with a green arrow to the left which worked independantly of the actual light box, showing when a left turn is possible. Well, my spastic eyes just saw the red light of the main set and stopped the car.

Supreme Cunt "Why have you stopped?"
Me: "It's a red light."
Supreme Cunt: "No, it's green. Look."
I look. I only see the red.
Me (getting flustered): "No, it's red."
Supreme Cunt: "The arrow."
Me (realising I've instantly failed my test and spent £100 quicker than anyone in history) "Shit."

Now, you may be think. This man is not a cunt. He is only doing his job. You were wrong. He was right. And I would agree with all those points. Well done on owning a rational mind.

BUT.

I continued with my test and never got one minor or major fault. It was perfect. It was like Kitt took over and I was only acting the instigator of motion.

The test ended. Now, I'm thinking - 'He knows it was just nerves in the first few seconds. Surely he is a reasonable man. Surely he will give me the benefit of the doubt. I've proven I can drive like a German. No-one passes their test with no faults.'

He says: "Well, that's the one of the strangest tests I've ever taken anyone on. You're a great driver but I can't pass you. Your inital fault was major in my opinion."

I retaliate: "But no-one's life was in danger. It's surely a minor perception fault."

"Sorry, you've failed. But you can pass no problem. You're a very good driver. Just book it again." he smirks, then hops out the car.

Supreme Cunt.

Number23 said:

pedantic little shit, him not you

Thread title of the year.

I failed my first test too. The day before the test conditions were perfect; dry roads, cloudy but no precipitation etc. But wouldn't you know it, that night we had the worst snowfall in 20 years and when it was time for me to drive everything was white white white. You couldn't see any lines on the road anywhere and experienced drivers were skidding around like crazy. And to top it all off it was still snowing PLUS the sun was just barely over the horizon shining right in my eyes and lighting up all the damn snow as if it were toxic waste from a cartoon show.

I got it on the next attempt though, and then all the frustration was gone. Just get through the eye of that needle and it'll all have been worth it.

I should have been failed but I wasn't

the woman conducting my driving test, was herself being examined, so I had 3 people in the car with me She probably failed for passing me!

Tell me where he lives...i will kidnap his dog

I took my motorcycle test last year. Everyone warned me that the very first thing he looked for was that you turn your head when going over railroad tracks. Sure enough he took me past railroad tracks and I forgot to look. He pulled me over gave me a talking to, and still passed me at the end of the test I had just talked to someone who had failed for the same reason

mdiver said:

bet he hasn't got a dog, he'll live at home with his mum, probably got a budgie

all gone
[Edited 10/18/07 5:12am]

jami0mckay said:

So kidnap the budgie.

MissMe said:

And mate with it.

Cloudbuster said:

jami0mckay said:

You look nice there.

Cloudbuster said:

jami0mckay said:

I'll get the lube for the gloves.

Cloudbuster said:

no need they're covered in denture cleaner

mdiver said:

Nevermind 23, just book again then him as u walk out with your hot new license

jami0mckay said:

I am on my 5th lesson

Thank you all for your support at this time.

Number23 said:

I passed my first test when I was 16. I'm a great driver.

CarrieMpls said:

A quadriplegic baboon with cataracts would pass an American driving test. You could sail Noah's Ark up the lanes over there.

Number23 said:

Imago said:

double

you should just hold out for a hovercraft

roodboi said:

make that a triple

Number23 said:

Number23 said:

Well, in a real life situation you sitting there with a green arrow could cause insurmountable bits of road rage by folks behind you....gigglin. Thus causing for more than a few minor horn blows from those sitting with you! A minor nuisance in my eyes and an equally minor infraction as it would not cause bodily harm to anyone.

He is a Cunt.....but.....

NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!

Sorry darling.

roodboi said:

Number23 should be the org's Poet Laureate