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Yuck Mouth So, I'm in my old hometown tonite having drinks with friends...had been there a lil' over an hour when who walks in...the former love of my life...the one girl I loved from like first grade til' graduation..we never dated...I was always the supportive friend  ...but I loved that motherfucker more than life itself...
Anyway, she looks great, hot as fuck....she's all excited to see me as I am her...we talk, catch up, drink etc...she gets pretty touchy feely and flirty... She leans in close to me to tell me something and it hits me...she had the worst breath I have ever smelled  ...this wasn't your run of the mill yuck mouth...this shit was special....literally, it was gagging...all the mints in the world could not have helped....
not really knowing what to do, I just started being kinda assy towards her...it took a few minutes but she finally got a lil' pissed at my attitude and stepped off....it was kinda fun doing that, I gotta admit...kinda got her back for all those years when she just wanted to be friends... Just my luck, the girl of my dreams smelled like she had just left a doo-doo buffet...   | |
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LOVE ♪♫♪♫ ♣¤═══¤۩۞۩ஜ۩ஜ۩۞۩¤═══¤♣ | |
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Thats awesome, she had ass breath! | |
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If it was me in your situation
I would´ve put a breath mint on my dick. That way, based on her flirty attitude, I could´ve solved her bad breath problem and had a blow-job from the girl of my dreams at the same time. But that´s just me. | |
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Illustrator said: If it was me in your situation
I would´ve put a breath mint on my dick. That way, based on her flirty attitude, I could´ve solved her bad breath problem and had a blow-job from the girl of my dreams at the same time. But that´s just me. | |
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Illustrator said: If it was me in your situation
I would´ve put a breath mint on my dick. That way, based on her flirty attitude, I could´ve solved her bad breath problem and had a blow-job from the girl of my dreams at the same time. But that´s just me. my dick would have puked...not jizzed...literal vomit...  | |
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PurpleThunder said:
Thats awesome, she had ass breath!
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Love the transition in the story "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
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ThreadCula said:
Love the transition in the story
I have a literary gift... | |
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Thats disgusting!!! Rhythm floods my heart♥The melody it feeds my soul | |
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Hahahahha!!! Poor Roodboi!!! Ughhhhh.
You shoulda threw up on her. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: Hahahahha!!! Poor Roodboi!!! Ughhhhh.
You shoulda threw up on her. I honestly gagged a couple of times...it was some bullshit... | |
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The guy of my dreams, OD'd on coke when he was 42, had a successful business, a wife, and 4 kids. Attended a class reunion and heard the gory details. Good thing the relationship didn't work out when I was young. I left town at 18, and put him behind me. | |
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Did you ever stop to think that maybe she has a medical condition that causes bad breath?  | |
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EverSoulicious said: Did you ever stop to think that maybe she has a medical condition that causes bad breath?
can't say that would matter to me...medical condition or a mouth full of funk...just wasn't working for me... | |
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roodboi said: EverSoulicious said: Did you ever stop to think that maybe she has a medical condition that causes bad breath?
can't say that would matter to me...medical condition or a mouth full of funk...just wasn't working for me... good to know  | |
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If you really loved her sooooo much, and you were really close friends, you simply should have told her what´s up...maybe that would have been better for both of you. Who knows, maybe she has some sort of disease or something. Friends should help each other. " I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?" | |
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roodboi said: Illustrator said: If it was me in your situation
I would´ve put a breath mint on my dick. That way, based on her flirty attitude, I could´ve solved her bad breath problem and had a blow-job from the girl of my dreams at the same time. But that´s just me. my dick would have puked...not jizzed...literal vomit... :::trying to picture that:::
 I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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KoolEaze said: If you really loved her sooooo much, and you were really close friends, you simply should have told her what´s up...maybe that would have been better for both of you. Who knows, maybe she has some sort of disease or something. Friends should help each other.
I haven't seen or heard from this girl in over 15 years....I think it's pretty fair to say that any love or friensdhip that was there was pretty one sided...so you'll have to forgive me (or not) if the reasons for her shitty breath don't really mattter to me... | |
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roodboi said: KoolEaze said: If you really loved her sooooo much, and you were really close friends, you simply should have told her what´s up...maybe that would have been better for both of you. Who knows, maybe she has some sort of disease or something. Friends should help each other.
I haven't seen or heard from this girl in over 15 years....I think it's pretty fair to say that any love or friensdhip that was there was pretty one sided...so you'll have to forgive me (or not) if the reasons for her shitty breath don't really mattter to me... Hey, chill...I forgive you !
Maybe her shitty breath has to do with bad karma for turning you down way back in the day  ...then again, maybe she wanted to do today what she didn´t do back then, who knows what you missed out on . A bit of tooth and tongue cleaning might have worked miracles, and you would have ended up in her bed instead of going seperate ways again. Did she still look hot enough for you to fancy her ?
If bad breath was the only factor from you two having a nice chat and some good sex, then it´s too bad. " I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?" | |
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Poor you... That is one of the funniest stories ever. | |
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KoolEaze said: Hey, chill...I forgive you
!
Maybe her shitty breath has to do with bad karma for turning you down way back in the day ...then again, maybe she wanted to do today what she didn´t do back then, who knows what you missed out on . A bit of tooth and tongue cleaning might have worked miracles, and you would have ended up in her bed instead of going seperate ways again. Did she still look hot enough for you to fancy her ?
If bad breath was the only factor from you two having a nice chat and some good sex, then it´s too bad.  ...it's all in fun my friend...
she did look hot...but nothing would have happened regardless...I've been over it... it honestly felt good to reject her advances...  | |
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roodboi said: KoolEaze said: Hey, chill...I forgive you
!
Maybe her shitty breath has to do with bad karma for turning you down way back in the day ...then again, maybe she wanted to do today what she didn´t do back then, who knows what you missed out on . A bit of tooth and tongue cleaning might have worked miracles, and you would have ended up in her bed instead of going seperate ways again. Did she still look hot enough for you to fancy her ?
If bad breath was the only factor from you two having a nice chat and some good sex, then it´s too bad. ...it's all in fun my friend...
she did look hot...but nothing would have happened regardless...I've been over it... it honestly felt good to reject her advances... 
Please...you know you would've been on that like a, "mad dog in a meat house". Funny thing is that I think I've heard that line somewhere before... | |
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hokie1 said:
Poor you... That is one of the funniest stories ever. shut up... I gagged dammit...where's all the fucking sympathy for me...what if I had died...or worse, what if she had kissed me???? | |
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roodboi said: hokie1 said:
Poor you... That is one of the funniest stories ever. shut up... I gagged dammit...where's all the fucking sympathy for me...what if I had died...or worse, what if she had kissed me???? See my above post bonehead. | |
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hokie1 said: roodboi said: ...it's all in fun my friend...
she did look hot...but nothing would have happened regardless...I've been over it... it honestly felt good to reject her advances...
Please...you know you would've been on that like a, "mad dog in a meat house". Funny thing is that I think I've heard that line somewhere before...
no, I wouldn't... seriously, way over it...it was good to see her, yes...but even minty breath wouldn't have gotten me into her meathouse.... | |
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roodboi said: hokie1 said:
Poor you... That is one of the funniest stories ever. shut up... I gagged dammit...where's all the fucking sympathy for me...what if I had died...or worse, what if she had kissed me???? Or she coulda licked you all up and down your face and stuck her smelly tounge in your ear!!!! | |
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PurpleThunder said: roodboi said: shut up... I gagged dammit...where's all the fucking sympathy for me...what if I had died...or worse, what if she had kissed me???? Or she coulda licked you all up and down your face and stuck her smelly tounge in your ear!!!!  | |
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