Unfortunately sometimes you have to provide tough love. I'm blessed that my daughter would rather tell me what she has done vs me finding out. She asks for my advice about things like sex and boys but I didn't start having close conversations with her. I started when she was 5 and 6 years old.


If you're the parent, then be the parent. The worse thing you can do is be concerned if your child "likes" you. So what.....if they are doing those things.....set the rules and stick to your guns.

Congratulations, PaisleyPark!

Rhondab said:

I have 4 kids, one is male 24 (today!!) daughter 14, daughter 9, and daughter, 4yrs. old.

My son was talked to about sex and drugs the whole thing since he was about 7, at every given occasion, I kid you not. Driving in a car, taking a walk at the park...I or my husband would randemly break in to our speech/horror stories. With my 14 years old, same...I have had my talks with her on a very regular basis since around 8, I can say with all honesty she is not having sex. Daughter 9 years old already get's her speeches, the baby can hold off for a few more yrs.
I believe that you also need to see who they are hanging around with, from my expierence growing up, I remember the crowd I would hang out with were the ones who introduced me to half the things I did, god help me. Lastly, I have been paying an arm and a leg, for years...for private school. My kids have all gone to private school since day one. Yes, I may not have enough money to go on fancy vacations, or the such. But, my kids are in classes with no more then 12 kids per class, 2 teachers per classroom. I drop off and pickup from school, I did that to my son till he was a senior in high school. It embarrassed the crap out of him, but I didn't care. I now do the same to my high school freshmen. Her school will let me know within 10 minutes if she is even late to a class let alone even try and cut a class, and she knows it. She never has. For me it all started from the time they were small kids, you mold them, scare the crap out of them and pray.
Oh and by the way...a shout out for my son, who turns 24 today!! He is the best son a mom could have ever dreamed of, he graduated in june with a major in philosophy, and is now a reporter/writer with the "Santa Barbara News-Press" warms my heart when I read his articles.
[Edited 8/29/07 13:11pm]

Lothan said:

What were they?

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Yanno Paisley.....I was so bad that my daugther would say stuff like, "Uh can we watch this show without a life lesson attached"



After a friend of hers was called a slut by her mother after admitting she was sexually active, my daugther came to me and said, "thanks for being my mom!"

She was so heartbroken for her friend, who is a good kid but who can't talk with her mother about stuff. I knew about the child having sex for about 6 months and I arranged for the girls to attend a safer sex party so that the girl could get information. I made sure she received her parents permission but they had no idea their daugther was having sex.




Sometimes its not the kids but the parents that can make situations worse.

retina said:

I strongly disagree with that. I think you can get them to stop if they understand what the consequences will be.

And the consequences have to be plainly laid out. For instance, if you become pregnant and have a baby:

1. You will be the butt of every joke at school - forever
2. Everyone will think you are stupid. After all, you got pregnant!
3. Every guy will think you are a slut, because after all - you got pregnant!
4. You will never have the chance to be young, single and free
5. You will never finish school. I don't care if you are an honor student
6. You will never have a chance to date and marry a young, single, attractive guy, because those guys don't want ready-made families
7. The boy who gets you pregnant WILL leave you. He almost certainly won't be much of a Dad, either. He probably won't be a Dad at ALL
8. But I guarantee you this - he WILL leave you

I'm sure there are more.

Sometimes its not the kids but the parents that can make situations worse.

to those of you whom have posted and offered advise, thank you, it seems there is no "right way" to do this parenting thing. and I just find out more and more as the days go on. I think I am more floored by the things that I am finding out as opposed to the things that I already know. At what point does it all stop? I do have a great relationship with my child ( the one who lives under my roof), she does know that she can talk to me about anything and I won't condemn her, just try my best to help her, give her knowledge and pray that she makes the right choices. Someone suggested having her volunteer at a cancer clinic/ward. I think I may just do that, amongst other things. I thank all of you for your words. Just keep me and my family in your prayers that God will help us out and guide us in the right direction as to what to do and how to handle things...

hisfan4ever said:

Blessings to you and yours

Mach said:

thank you Mach, and I did send you an orgnote. I feel like I can use your guidance during some of this..God bless you

to those of you whom have posted and offered advise, thank you, it seems there is no "right way" to do this parenting thing. and I just find out more and more as the days go on. I think I am more floored by the things that I am finding out as opposed to the things that I already know. At what point does it all stop? I do have a great relationship with my child ( the one who lives under my roof), she does know that she can talk to me about anything and I won't condemn her, just try my best to help her, give her knowledge and pray that she makes the right choices. Someone suggested having her volunteer at a cancer clinic/ward. I think I may just do that, amongst other things. I thank all of you for your words. Just keep me and my family in your prayers that God will help us out and guide us in the right direction as to what to do and how to handle things...