Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuckass!

My sweater's unraveled a quarter-sized hole right in between my boobs and I can't go home to change! I still have 3 hours left here! What do I do? Tape? Staples? Paper clips?!?!?!? I'm supposed to meet with a co-worker on something soon, too. FUCKFUCKFUCK.
[Edited 8/13/07 14:18pm]

who
in
the
hell
wears
sweaters
in
August?

I'll be your sweater.

Imago said:

I live/work 20 minutes from the Pacific. It's foggy and has been cold lately. It's not a huge sweater, it's a tight, thin one. Now HELP, before I post that Chinese guy. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DANNY, HELP

JDInteractive said:

Did you get my orgPop earlier?


Seriously, let's all take a vote.

A. Tape
B. Staples
C. Paper clip(s)

INSATIABLE said:

Don't you have any Asians at your workplace? They can do remarkable things with paperclips and some string.

Aren't you wearing anything underneath?

Wear it backwards as if you were a member of Kris Kross

INSATIABLE said:

No. I'm being anti social tonight anyway as Im not feeling clever about myself both physically and mentally. In fact Im going to bed in a minute with a cup of tea but Ive got to get the cat in first.

INSATIABLE said:

I think the staples would work best

Imago said:

There is a shortage of Asians here. Do you think a Mexican would be offended if I asked them if they had any home remedies for unraveling sweaters? Every time I touch it or move, the hole gets bigger! My left boob's going to pop out! What if I have to pee? If I walk anywhere, I'm going to have to hold papers up to my chest. And nobody cares.

JDInteractive said:

Well, there are plenty of us who think you're quite mentally and physically clever. Just an FYI.

jess555ja said:

I love you.

retina said:

A black bra. It's a huge contrast to my skin and extremely obvious. Not classy.

INSATIABLE said:

Co - FYI

jess555ja said:

Daddy Mac'll make you jump.

It's not really cut symmetrically front and back, but I might not have a choice in the matter.

INSATIABLE said:

I think we'll need pictures to assess the situation properly.

INSATIABLE said:

Do U have any friends who have jackets at work?

Maybe a window curtain that nobody will miss for a day or so?

Oh, and paper clips AND tape. Go into the bathroom so you can do this shit properly. Take the sweater off and turn it inside out. Carefully pull at the threads that have come undone and catch them with one or two paperclips, you know on the sides where they'll stay. Pull the hole shut, CAREFULLY. Then fasten the paperclip/s with tape...on the inside. Carefully turn the sweater right again and put it on.

retina said:

There's a good reason I'm no photowhore.

THANKS for the help though, ass.

Teacher said:

It's a weird situation--there are no loose strings, but I think I'm going to have to do this. I'll let you know how it goes.


Christ.

INSATIABLE said:

How can there be a whole if no strings came undone?

INSATIABLE said:

Find a marker that is the same colour as the sweater and colour a patch on your skin under the hole

Teacher said:

Tell me about it. It's just unraveling. It's like it's disintegrating. There are loops that stick out, but no loose/hanging strings.

mdiver said:

mdiver said:

Bitch. Black, blue, turqoise and yellow? WTF! Maybe I could get someone to punch me there--a bruise is probably as close as I could get it.

:S&M:

STAPLES!!!

'Cause they're punk rock!!!!!

INSATIABLE said:

INSATIABLE said:

INSATIABLE said:

It's the loops you gotta catch. I forgot to say before - put a piece of tape or something over the hole when you take the sweater off so the hole doesn't get any bigger and the loops don't go away.