It's the age old question. (Or at least since 1989 when "When Harry Met Sally" came out.)

Jess's thread (and Imago's reply) got me to thinking.

Do you believe straight men and women can truly have a platonic relationship?

Or does one always want to bone/fall in love with the other?

Most of my friends have told me that they're in love with me but that's 'cos I'm special. I can't speak for anyone else, much as I'd like to.

Cloudbuster said:

Yeah, I can see you're an exceptional case.

most definately yes,

CarrieMpls said:

Thanks.

in some cases maybe, but it seems to be very rare.

CarrieMpls said:

I have had a few guy friends that were straight as far as I can tell that I never wanted to be with sexually or relationship wise. Just friends.

Though I add it is rare in most cases but it has happened.
[Edited 8/5/07 6:30am]

shanti0608 said:

But did any of them want to get with you, is the question...

CarrieMpls said:

Welllll.....hmmmm....




no really I think there was one or two that never expressed wanting to be with me in that way.
But it is rare...

Well they CAN. But it's usually only if there's no romantic attraction there. If one person is romantically attracted to the other--even if they don't say anything--it will eventually bubble up to the surface. When it happens, there's definitely a bruised ego and some awkwardness. But sometimes you can still salvage the friendship if you can make the Person with Romantic Intent understand that you DO love them...just not in THAT way. That's what happened to me with my high school friend Hillari. But that's the exception, not the rule. I've had other friendships go up in smoke when there was a big "I love you" confession. So it's all a case-by-case basis.

shanti0608 said:

That's 'cos you're adorable.

Cloudbuster said:

Awwww

yes and you are too....

Yes.


But the problem is that women always mistaken charm for sincerity. I don't meant that men don't genuinely care for their female friends, but men have this incredible urge to be charming. I think women have this equal urge to be "charmed" and view it at least subconsciously as a courtship ritual.


This of course, allows the most charming guys to be complete assholes and still get away with it.

shanti0608 said:

Imago said:

Just take your fucking clothes off, man.

Cloudbuster said:

I'm gonna soak my balls in cinnamon oil and let you tea bag me.

Imago said:

Oh, fuckinghell. I was just discussing teabagging the other day.

Imago said:

So you think it's more routinely the women who fall for the men?

CarrieMpls said:

If it's me.

I want to say yes, it can, but in many of my friendships with straight men, either the guy or myself ends up developing feelings for the other. It sucks

CarrieMpls said:

Yeah. More routinely.





Hell, you can see it here on the org if you read the posts carefully.

Cloudbuster said:

Imago said:

With my Mum.

Part....ok....MOST of my problems with other women have come because they, without fail, have always found their way onto that road to L-O-V-E....

I had a friend who swore up and down that she was glad we were friends because I wasn't clamoring to get in her pants....said I was the only guy she knew who treated her respectfully....cared about what she thought and had to say....ya can see where that was going.....seems pretty obvious.....for everyone but ME....because I was in the friend-zone 100%....wasn't even going there.....so I was pretty floored when she dropped the "L-bomb" on me....

I think that it may depend on the personalities involved.....if one represents what the other is looking for, friendship goes out of the window.....unfortunately, the budding romance often goes out of the same window as well....

Imago said:

I can see that. And I think there's a great deal of truth to what you said.

But I also see guys who only become friends/bother getting to know women they find attractive (i.e. want to bone) more often than not...

Cloudbuster said:

roflma now that is a convo i would love to hear

Cloudbuster said:

Oh hell, who doesn't discuss that sort of thing with her!

Imago said:

one more word out of you and you're out of the Man Fraternity.....

Imago said:

Ass.