I have no advice for you but I like to read some of the crazy replies so here I am.

JustErin said:

Let's see: "He feels bad, so I don't have to."

To answer your question, meow, yes, your reaction makes sense... to the extent many of us can't handle being responsible actors and concoct entire industries to shirk our responsibilities off onto others. Let Sally Struthers feed the starving. Let insurance companies pay for all the damage we might do on the roadway. Let Jesus hang on a cross. (And before all the sentimental religious responses start pouring in, no I'm not saying Christian salvific economy is concocted, but our capacity to abuse it and invest zero in the way of faithfulness certainly is.)

Point is, meow, yes, we are all imperfect in our moral logic. But when we recognize it, do we wallow in it, or rise above it? Your boy toy's feelings are moot, as are the ultimate lack thereof of yours... for him or his unsuspecting girlfriend. Question is, are you gonna do the right thing and withdraw yourself from this crap, or willfully, knowingly show that you're no better than to be complicit in it?

Folk have died for less, lady.
[Edited 7/25/07 20:44pm]

JustErin said:

keeping it real... I love it!!

Lammastide said:

I say get out and see what he does. If he is truly unhappy he may still cheat on the girlfriend or he may leave her, but it seems to me that once you know about her then some action on your part is necessary. Since you are posting here, asking wheather your reaction makes any sense at all, thus inviting the org into this situation, it seems that you are not as guiltfree as you make out to be.

and just to break it down lamm is right. People have been killed for less than this, I hope she nor any of her family members have a murderous streak. Question you may want to ask yourself:
Is this good dick is worth all that?

I would suggest that you not beat yourself up about what has happened so far (after all, he's the one in the relationship, and responsible for his own behavior), but that you end it, because you're a part of something dishonorable and you're better than that.

Lothan said:

U know she likes 2 b everywhere. The other day i was watching the "Lord Of The Ring" movie & she was hidden amongst the Urukays.
The day b4 i was watching "Airplane" & she was hidden amongst the passenger.
& she also plays a member of the Jedi Concil in the latest star Wars movies.
(Not 2 mention she was one of the dancers in "Showgirls")

shaomi said:

walk away, the guy's a sleeze.

i don't care how guilty he feels, if he continues to cheat then he's a sleeze.
i understand being caught up in it and not wanting to end it and not knowing why you don't want to end it but you should end it.

So end it. maybe he'll stop being a sleeze. maybe he won't. but whatever the case, if you end it you won't have to be involved in the huge dramatic blow out that will inevitably result.


oh yeah...and you reaction makes sense. it's just not beneficial to your situation.
[Edited 7/25/07 8:42am]

This story is way 2 complicated 4 me

butterfli25 said:

Did she say it was good?

I'll have to go back and look for that-I was confused right from the beginnning.

statuesqque said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Jealous!

JustErin said:

You don't have romantic feelings for him, so can't you just stop?

A moment of pleasure isn't worth the guilt, is it?

.
[Edited 7/25/07 10:24am]

I DONT LIKE CHEATERS AT ALL and here are my reasons:

As I am reading this thread its confuses me more as to WHY this person is subjecting herself to this.

I was with a man who cheated on me during our marriage. So I KNOW what his girlfriend IS going through. ALOT of hurt, betrayal and trust and IF they go on with their lives or not, will the woman he IS with be able to trust him again, KNOWING he cheated on her?It takes time to trust that person again(you cant give a time limit on these things, some take days, months, even years to mend).

What I DONT understand is that the woman he was with, KNEW about his current girlfriend and KNEW they were together, WHY even persue the relationship in the first place?

IMHO, the other person should put themselves into the woman's shoes that he is currently with, and see what the other is feeling.

I NEVER cheated on my husband when I was married to the guy. Dreamed(fantisized) about other men like television stars that I KNEW I could NOT have let alone even get, that is normal. But having a affair just cause the sex is good isnt normal especially when the guy is in a current relationship.

All in all, IMHO, if you KNOW the man is in a current relationship BREAK IT OFF before is goes any further.If he truely IS unhappy with the relationship he is in now, he should break it off first, then start another with the same or other person. BUT if he does come back to the other person he was having a affair with, would she be comfortable KNOWING that he cheated with the other woman and can trust him as well if and when he gets tired of her he will do the same to the woman he is with??(THAT is the big question)
[Edited 7/25/07 10:37am]

It's really just all about selfishness.

If ya wanna be selfish, that's totally cool. Just realize what it really is and who you really are for doing it.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

First of all, don't let people guilt you about what your doing. Just because someone is together with someone else does not mean that it is right. She could be a horribly abusive bitch and then would you really blame him for not wanting to be with her? And people are gonna blather on that if he isn't happy he should leave. Well duh. But sometimes people need time to figure out their shit.

I don't judge you for this, as I have been there myself. My last "fling", the boyfriend told me to my face he didn't care what his boyfriend was doing outside the house, just so long as he came home at night. So even though I basically had permission to fuck around with his boyfriend, at the end of the day it wasn't right for me, not from a moralistic standpoint, but just because I wasn't getting what I needed from someone who couldn't/wouldn't commit to me. Examine it from that angle. Are you getting what you really need from him? If not, then it's wiser to move on

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yeah, well obviously cheating is wrong.

Thats not what I'm lecturing about. I'm just sayin' that they should tell this cheater that they are just using them for sex and that there is NO chance for anything else.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

There could be a chance for something else. You never know. Ultimately it is on him for straying. Meow can't force him to cheat. Either he is faithful or not. Even if the understanding is that it is only a sex thing, still be careful of your feelings because the likelyhood is that they won't be satisfied.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yeah, but in my experience it wasn't worth waiting around to see if the person would 'fall' for me or not. I got the ka-bash.

JustErin said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

In general it's not worth it, "moral" issue aside

JustErin said:

Huh????

toots said:

Erin is so much more complex than me, so I'm sure to answer for her would not do her justice, but if I may try.....

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that she is saying that cheaters and their flings are selfish beings. Selfish as in they are self centered by hurting someone else cause they can't keep it in their pants and have to have they're cake and eat it too. Instead of just being honest.

toots said:

It's not up to her to insure that man is faithful....

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Thank you for explaing that to me makes perfect sense!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I understand that, Supa explained it to me as to why she did say that.I also understand and KNOW women cheat as well not just men. With IMHO is wrong on both parts.
[Edited 7/25/07 11:34am]

toots said:

Are you asking me to explain why did said what she said or are you saying I did explain it to you?