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Thread started 07/13/07 8:22pm

theAudience

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When Insults Had Class

cubic61052 sent these to me...

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-- Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

... wink


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
"Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all."
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Reply #1 posted 07/13/07 8:24pm

starkitty

okay, where's yours?
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Reply #2 posted 07/13/07 8:48pm

theAudience

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starkitty said:

okay, where's yours?

Sorry, don't get it.


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
"Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all."
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Reply #3 posted 07/13/07 8:50pm

starkitty

i'd like to see you cook up a flavorful insult.
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Reply #4 posted 07/13/07 8:55pm

IAintTheOne

... .... ..... shit i got nothin'
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Reply #5 posted 07/13/07 8:57pm

starkitty

"I need your charity like I need your cock in my ass."
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Reply #6 posted 07/13/07 9:06pm

dancinggyrl

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lol Thank you TA..thank you for sharing- needed a laugh and some pure cleverness wink
If you have to ask, it's more than worth it.
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Reply #7 posted 07/13/07 9:12pm

dancinggyrl

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"Some people are like slinkys... not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
Ouch! lol
If you have to ask, it's more than worth it.
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Reply #8 posted 07/13/07 9:13pm

theAudience

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dancinggyrl said:

lol Thank you TA..thank you for sharing- needed a laugh and some pure cleverness wink

You're welcome.
Hope you've been well.


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
"Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all."
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Reply #9 posted 07/13/07 9:14pm

theAudience

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starkitty said:

i'd like to see you cook up a flavorful insult.

OK, here's one...

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
Unfortunately some folks have two and use one of them to talk through.


...First line standard, second line improvised.


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
"Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all."
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Reply #10 posted 07/13/07 9:15pm

2the9s

"This thread is Imago-like." -- Prince Klemens Wenzel von Metternich

Oh, that's cold!
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Reply #11 posted 07/13/07 9:20pm

theAudience

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2the9s said:

"This thread is Imago-like." -- Prince Klemens Wenzel von Metternich

Oh, that's cold!

confuse Should I consider that a personal insult?


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
"Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all."
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Reply #12 posted 07/13/07 10:27pm

2the9s

theAudience said:

2the9s said:

"This thread is Imago-like." -- Prince Klemens Wenzel von Metternich

Oh, that's cold!

confuse Should I consider that a personal insult?


The worst kind. nod
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Reply #13 posted 07/14/07 3:19am

ThirdandFinal

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starkitty said:

"I need your charity like I need your cock in my ass."




confuse was that a Prince song?
Le prego di non toccare la macchina per favore!
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Reply #14 posted 07/14/07 3:21am

AndGodCreatedM
e

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starkitty said:

"I need your charity like I need your cock in my ass."



I'm sorry it's not what tA meant but falloff
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Reply #15 posted 07/14/07 3:23am

Fauxie

theAudience said:


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response



falloff
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Reply #16 posted 07/14/07 3:24am

AndGodCreatedM
e

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theAudience said:

cubic61052
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

... wink


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431


falloff
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Reply #17 posted 07/14/07 3:25am

AndGodCreatedM
e

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theAudience said:

starkitty said:

i'd like to see you cook up a flavorful insult.

OK, here's one...

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
Unfortunately some folks have two and use one of them to talk through.


...First line standard, second line improvised.


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431



spit

that's me boxed



lol
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Reply #18 posted 07/14/07 3:41am

ELASTICFANTAST
IC

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dancinggyrl said:

"Some people are like slinkys... not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
Ouch! lol



falloff
Stretching his hand out to catch the stars, he forgets the flowers at his feet.
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Reply #19 posted 07/14/07 3:45am

prb

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"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

nod wasted many an hour on a bad book (but i have ocd when it comes 2 books- i HAVE 2 finish it ,good or bad disbelief

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

falloff
i loved it when keating was in politics- always a laugh around the corner
seems that i was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before music beret
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Reply #20 posted 07/14/07 1:00pm

theAudience

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AndGodCreatedMe said:

theAudience said:


OK, here's one...

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
Unfortunately some folks have two and use one of them to talk through.


...First line standard, second line improvised.


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431



spit

that's me boxed



lol

You said it, not me. whistling

comfort


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
"Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all."
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Reply #21 posted 07/14/07 1:01pm

Spookymuffin

We English are still that good at them. smile
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Reply #22 posted 07/14/07 1:07pm

BlackAdder7

i have a good mind to join a club and hit you over the head with it
Groucho Marx
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Reply #23 posted 07/14/07 3:30pm

AndGodCreatedM
e

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theAudience said:

AndGodCreatedMe said:




spit

that's me boxed



lol

You said it, not me. whistling

comfort


tA

peace Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431


i know! pfff hug

hope you're well rose
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Reply #24 posted 07/15/07 1:35am

Teacher

falloff

My stomach is hurting I laughed so much. Thanks a million tA worship
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Reply #25 posted 07/15/07 1:44am

Pochacco

Dorothy Parker - I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
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Reply #26 posted 07/15/07 12:07pm

cubic61052

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BlackAdder7 said:

i have a good mind to join a club and hit you over the head with it
Groucho Marx


falloff

I just wish I could be quick enough at appropriate momoents to remember to repeat some of these.... lol

How fun.....

cool
"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Dalai Lama
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Reply #27 posted 07/15/07 5:07pm

senik

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There's another notable Churchill response (allegedly)...

??? - "If I were your wife, I'd poison your tea"
Churchill - "If I were your husband, I'd jolly well drink it!"

"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.."
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Reply #28 posted 07/15/07 6:06pm

cubic61052

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senik said:

There's another notable Churchill response (allegedly)...

??? - "If I were your wife, I'd poison your tea"
Churchill - "If I were your husband, I'd jolly well drink it!"


falloff lol

Legend has it was said by Lady Astor....

cool
"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Dalai Lama
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Reply #29 posted 07/15/07 6:17pm

Ocean

senik said:

There's another notable Churchill response (allegedly)...

??? - "If I were your wife, I'd poison your tea"
Churchill - "If I were your husband, I'd jolly well drink it!"

spit
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