So yesterday's little joke became something much bigger as far as some were concerned.

Chris asked me to clear the air a bit: He did not delete his account with the intention of playing a trick on you guys, or making anyone worry. He simply decided to take a break, probably permanent, and didn't see the point in a big goodbye-thread drama. Yesterday's joke was just something we came up with during a silly phone conversation yesterday morning. "People are wondering why I left? Haha, tell them you slept with my ex-wife." That's all it was! Sorry to disappoint, but there was no diabolical plan, no premeditated trickery. We had no idea it would actually upset people and result in so much fucking nuttiness. And contrary to what some folks took from the deleted thread, neither Phil nor I ever implied that Chris's health or safety were in danger. Sure, anything for a laugh, but I wouldn't go that route.

So he wanted me to tell you that



He's fine, the kids are fine, our relationship is fine. He loves your silly, deranged, disturbing, sweet, hilarious asses and sincerely wishes everyone well. If you know him at all, you'll know that the way he left is nothing personal, it's just how he fuckin' rolls!

And just for old time's sake, this thread would be incomplete without some Alkaline Trio!

If you had a bad time
At one of my parties
Well I wouldn't expect to be seeing you soon and that's fine

You have to know what and why
Those things make you happy
You have to know that a second guess ain't worth the try

Just some words of advice
Maybe you've heard them before but here goes
Just be true to yourself if it lands you in hell, well, at least now you know
Loud and clear is your heart big and bright are the places you might someday go
With one million things holding you down, why you're one of those things
I don't know, no big deal gotta go

If you're up to your ears
In blood, sweat and wasted years
I'm hoping you're going to open your throat
And just scream

You have to know who and why
Which ones miss you when you die
You have to know that a second guess ain't worth the salt in your eyes

Just some words of advice
Maybe you've heard them before but here goes
Just be true to yourself if it lands you in hell, well, at least now you know
Loud and clear is your heart big and bright are the places you might someday go
With one million things holding you down, why you're one of those things
No big deal

It just sits on my shoulders you're breaking my neck
We get crazy with age now you're under my bed
And it's dark all the time, all the time

Just some words of advice
Maybe you've heard them before but here goes
Just be true to yourself if it lands you in hell, well, at least now you know
Loud and clear is your heart big and bright are the places you might someday go
With one million things holding you down, why you're one of those things
I don't know, no big deal here I go.

I wish you and him all the best

and abt that thread, I missed it but reading what you said abt it only makes me

Laugh, and laugh hard. I missed that shit and the org always needs a huge ass joke once in a while.

"Emotear"! That bitch better not be gone for good

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

We laughed our asses off when we realized it was becoming such a scandal!

FunkMistress said:

It's org legend and you didn't even try for it

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

It was totally a spur-of-the-moment joke that we were sure would be too over the top for anyone to believe! Now it's "Jerseycaust." LMAO!

FunkMistress said:

that shows you how bored orgers are. You sleeping with Jerses ex brings people to think of 6 million dead jews

Dear lord!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

FunkMistress said:

i tried introducing "quaidseyKRSbowl", but it didn't catch on.

Anxiety said:

Jerseygate is more appropriate

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

oh, i introduced that too

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Holy Moses

Anxiety said:

Honey, you've been here long enough to know that monosyllabic is the way to go.

"POOP!" would have been a great hit, I think.

FunkMistress said:

yeah, though i have to save SOME words for my own made-up romantic scandals, you know.

Anxiety said:

I'm going to make a line of one-syllable refrigeratORG magnets.

DAN BALLS SEX PRINCE LUBE POST PIC WHORE POOP GAY FUCK

I wish you both the best!

He better come back damn-it!!

M

FunkMistress said:

so we can sit around staring at our fridges when the org crashes? GREAT!

FunkMistress said:

You just invented a business!

Since Jers wasn't really involved in your cunnilingal activity with the bitch, why not call it Lesbogate?

AndGodCreatedMe said:

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i like the other names better because there's more of a directly implied linkage between shame and jers.

Love me some Jers

and you too Funk

as always, best wishes

Anxiety said:

And I did NOT have oral relations with that woman!

Anxiety said:

There's always Jerseygate!

FunkMistress said:

it's touched so many lives.

FunkMistress said:

like i was trying to say before the org hickup :

AndGodCreatedMe said:

Go have a kiss-less fuck!