DexMSR said:

Maybe you're looking at it from the wrong angle. Perhaps she brought it up on purpose to get rid of you.



WHAP that!

DexMSR said:

Dex...you are sooooo right!!!!! I swear, if I have girls, I'm making them all read "Why Men Love Bitches". It's very tongue in cheek. But I swear, women kind of don't get it. Ladies....if you want to play your cards right, you NEVER EVER EVER mention marriage AT ALL COSTS! Yeah, I agree with you man...she screwed up.

The one thing that would erk me is that men expect us to be pressed and then date me and put me in that category...I aint the one honey!

Illustrator said:

And to piggy back on that....

I'm in a very solid relationship.

Did I play by the "rules"? You don't have to if you're PRESSED...But did I keep playing and doing my thing till we were serious? YUP!

I wasn't a ho. Just didn't turn down dinner, lunch, movies, I kept my options open. Wasn't gonna put all my effort into a man that may not return it.

The worst that we do ladies, is come off desperate. I didn't say you are...but sometimes we come off that way. Do you and be all about you. They usually come following.

I guess since I turned him down for two years may have made him stick around...but anyway.

This has been your dating tip for the day from tha Queen B Kat Skrizzle.

Oh yeah, and the female whose hubby said he loved you after 3 weeks? I guess I'm just too "dude acting"...I'd a ran for the hills!

KatSkrizzle said:

So it's better to lie and be miserable.

Ya, that's some great advice right there.

How about people just be honest with each other (just like this chick did) and that way people will know upfront that they want the same things...or don't in Dex's case.

Different people want different things, fuck the "rules". Do what you want and be honest, you'll end up finding someone that's best suited for you without all this rules bullshit.

And if someone thinks that you're "crazy" simply because what you want is not the same thing that they want, if they can't respect the fact that you're not on the same page...well, they're obviously morons and it's better to have them act like an obnoxious idiot to show you their true colours.

JustErin said:

amen, sister!

JustErin said:

Basically.

DevotedPuppy said:

CarrieMpls said:

Guys too, but, yeah, it is different.

Stax said:

True. I guess the older we all get the more we realize we're losing time.

Dosen't explain why women feel the need to have children...unless it's just about know you're leaving something behind after you die.

Personally when i'm dead i want no record of my existance on earth, so when i come back i can rule the world afresh.

liberation said:

retina said:

No, and yesterday someone asked me what day we got married, and I blanked. I had already forgotten my anniversary.

And I'm suffering identity crisis because I never know which name to sign, and half the things I go do Im still old me and half of it's converted to new me.

Woman are told by society that for them to be legit they have to be married, men on the other hand like to sow their oats. You won't change that anytime soon. Just don't be breaking too many hearts Dextor. lol

I love it! Mine did the same and we were even considering eloping - then common sense kicked in. We dated another 3 years and have been married for 12 yrs now.

JustErin said:

First of all...it's not from the "Rules". IF we were about our selves and didn't have much pressure as to "when am I gonna get married" you wouldn't have to ever go through this. Maybe because I can be so "man ish" in the way I date doesn't make me a moron. I'm not single. I didn't play games. I kept it real. If you wanna ask all those women questions then stay single. "You played yourself"

Men don't react to verbage, they react to action. That's all I'm saying. It's gonna be that way from now until whenever. It's not playing games, it's learning how to best get your point across.

Besides, there are signs you can tell early on whether or not he is serious relationship material or not. I guess playing it cool for 6 months is not everyone's cup of tea. But I'm not pressed to be MARRIED. I'd put more stock in being HAPPY first

Dex, baby---are you in the EU? you know there's a different standard her for for the appropriate tim to bring up marriage, so I'm curious if you were here or where your (ex?) girl is from...

Maybe she's just really in love with you.

I don't think there is a set timeline for the development of emotions. My wife and I grew to know each other through a long period of chatting online and over the phone, but when I met her in real life, I knew pretty instantaneously that I wanted to marry her.

KatSkrizzle said:

Why do you assume it's external pressure that makes someone want to get married? Certainly, that can be part or all of it for some people, men too. But it's also something many people want in their lives for themselves. And why must women be more "man ish" to not be considered a "moron"? Isn't simply being yourself "keeping it real"? I think learning how best to communicate with your partner is important, sure. But if a guy can't handle open and honest communication, he's not the guy for me. Maybe that slims my options, but then so be it. I'm not SO pressured to get married that I'm gonna be anyone but myself in how I go about it.

Ottensen said:

Out of curiosity, what's the different standard?

CarrieMpls said:

Perhaps it's the way I work or that most of my friends are male. I heard so many stories and I took notes.

Really, I think it's the type of men that we are attracted to. It becomes a cycle. A lot of women put stock in unavailable men. I think if you put your self worth and confidence first, everything else follows. You won't even need to ask the questions. It'll come to you.

KatSkrizzle said:

That, I agree with.

KatSkrizzle said:

Your advice wasn't "man-ish" at all.
[Edited 5/27/07 8:41am]

CarrieMpls said:

Yes, I agree with this too and it ties in nicely with what I said in my first post.

marriage is something u really have 2 think about. If u'r just starting out dating, then this is 2 c if there is more than physical attraction that would make u want 2 commit 4 a lifetime with someone. It's also a period of self discovery of the things u want out of life. If u'r not ready, u'r plain not ready.

having said that, there might b something that may irk u about someone and no matter how he/she brings up the subject of marriage, there r other factors 2 factor in (financial, spirtual, possible drug/alchol influences). Perhaps any or more reasons could b a factor in leaving someone.

feelings also may change during the course of u'r relationship. If both r clear from the start that u may b looking just 2 have fun and nothing serious, that can change in2 love and wanting commitments. Just keep the lines of communication open.

Are the numbers for married women that keep their last names growing?

Paradisekiss03 said:

I wonder about that. My sister kept hers because it was such a big hassle to change everything. I think that in this day and age we may see a lot more of that. I think it is just because a lot of folk wait so long to do it nowadays

50% of women in the US are now single or divorced, thats alot of loose women!