I'm not anyone important around this place and no one reallly knows me, so I'm not exactly sure why I'm posting this except for two reasons: 1) to remind people not to take things like their eyesight (or any of their other senses) for granted; and 2) I'm feeling rather afraid and I guess I just wanted to reach out to someone. I've been coming to the Org for a few years now and though I'm not a well known person here, it is a place that I find a lot of enjoyment in and appreciate very much.

Anyway yesterday I had my yearly eye exam so I could get my contact lens Rx refilled. They did a glaucoma exam like they always do, and I certainly wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary, but unlike all the other times I've had this done since I was a child this time they told me my eye pressure was very high, which is apparantly a very bad thing that can lead to glaucoma/loss of eyesight. My mother has glaucoma and has had a few surgeries on her eyes in the last few years and has had to be on a bunch of various eye drops and stuff, and it's been scary for her and scary to watch her go through. Now it's something that I have to look at as a reality for myself and it's quite scary.

I know everybody values their eyesight and probably doesn't take it for granted too much, but I truly never expected to hear what I did yesterday. It floored me. I never really thought losing my sight was something that could possibly happen to *ME*. You know that old attitude - it's always the *other* guy that stuff like this happens to. It's quite shocking to find out it's YOUR eyes that have something wrong with them.

The last 24 hours have been very frightening to me. Hopefully I will not lose my sight and my eye pressure can be lowered somehow. I'm just so thankful that I went in for an exam when I did, and this situation was discovered now. But I'm still rather afraid. I keep thinking about how much I love to read.

So everybody please always remember how fortunate you are to be able to see, and hear, and walk, etc..all those gifts that might get taken for granted in the course of day to day life. You never know when things can change. And please get your eyes checked every year. It's very important.

Thanks to whoever might have taken the time to read this. You guys around here, your senses of humor and your recent reports on the concerts, etc., are so appreciated, more than you know.

What a wonderful post. I hope things improve for you! Eyesight is something I value more than almost anything. May you be blessed!

Moonbeam said:

Thank you Moonbeam. I really appreciate your kind comments and good wishes so much. I'm trying to stay positive about this but it's still so frightening. Thank you again.

TheVioletFemme said:

I think staying positive is key. Stressing about it can't be good for your eyesight. I don't know what your spiritual views are, but from your post I get the feeling that you do feel thankful for your eyesight in the first place. If you revel in that gratitude, you might relax a bit!

the hardest thing to do is NOT STRESS..!!

i feel for u ..!!


much love goes to u

Moonbeam said:

Yes, I am trying hard to keep the stress level down. I believe in God and I know that I can only do what I can to seek treatment and trust the doctor, and that past that, it is in God's hands.

I have had serious health problems before in my life, and that taught me to never take the gift of health for granted.

Thank you again. It helps to be able to talk a bit about it like this, and feel such warmth and kindness. I really appreciate it.

DORA said:

Thank you Dora.

Big back to you. They're much appreciated.

Yes, not stressing is hard. I'm doing the best I can to stay positive.

I am send you many and yes I agree I thank god for
everything I have everyday.
[This message was edited Sat Oct 5 1:28:48 PDT 2002 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld]

Bon courage! from France

good luck Femme! we're here for you

TheVioletFemme said:

SO true, Femme, I give my thanks every chance I get. I'm pulling for you!!!

VioletFemme

I seriously hope that things go well for you.

They have some good treatments for this now... including marijuana, as it reduces occular pressure.

I will hope for the best for you.

...
[This message was edited Sat Oct 5 11:59:49 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

Stay positive, VioletFemme, things will improve.

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld
jnoel
AaronForever
CalhounSq
IceNine
AzureStar

Thanks to all of you for your encouraging words and good wishes. They truly do mean a LOT. When I made this post I was feeling especially alone and afraid, and later I felt a little embarassed for having made it -- but when I came back here tonight and saw the beautiful messages you each left for me, my spirits were so lifted and I truly do feel less alone.

I have an appointment this coming Wednesday with the opthomologist who has been treating my mother's glaucoma. I am going to be very aggressive about doing what I can to take control of this situation.

Thank you all again for taking the time to leave the messages you did.

to each of you.
[This message was edited Thu Oct 10 0:06:59 PDT 2002 by TheVioletFemme]

Well, there are options to reduce glaucoma, as you know. I read about some neat state-of-the-art surgery that my father-in-law had performed. He used to be unable to drive, and now he can. So better glaucoma than something else... you have more options available to you, and research is likely to produce even better treatment in the years to come.

I have optic atrophy and there's no treatment. I wear glasses that correct about 20 % of my problem, and the rest of my 20/500 vision is not corrected. In my case, it's nothing dramatic -- I simply feel like I've permanently misplaced my glasses, and the world looks a bit like an impressionist painting. I'm hoping that stem cell research will one day allow doctors to replace my optic nerves, but I'm well adjusted to my visual disability. There are great assistive devices and software that make life much easier for visually-impaired people. You can use programs that read your PC screen out loud or that magnify it, electronic readers to do the same for books or documents on paper, CCTV's, etc. And they are hard at work on artificial eyes and visual implants. I recently read an article on a man who was a recipient for one of these devices. Although the device is still primitive compared to a real eye, he can now see well enough to walk around without his cane and even drive in a controlled setting.

I have great hopes that such implants will make blindess a thing of the past for some patients within a decade or so. I just had an implant performed in my ear, as I am also partially deaf. 10 years ago, these "cochlear implants" would have given me a chance to hear about 30 % of the words. Now I could hear 90 % of them -- I'll find out this coming week, when my device finally gets switched on.

Best of luck to you.
[This message was edited Sun Oct 6 10:16:57 PDT 2002 by Aerogram]

TheVioletFemme said:

I know this isn't exactly comforting, but here's my 2 pennies on such loss. We get to a certain age, somewhere between 25 and 30, and we start to die. Our bodies start falling apart slowly a bit at a time until there's nothing left. And while this is a pretty dreary reality given that our lives not even half over, such loss/death is a great teacher. It gives us humility and appreciation for whatever is left, just as your post has done.

thx for sharing, VioletFemme!

You are very brave, Aerogram.



And, Femme, believe you'll be fine.

Best of luck to both of U Aerogram and VioletFemme

and I know I have hearing loss due to playing in loudass bands and concerts and the car stereo and headphones always being maxxed out!!!

Thnxxx for sharing TheVioletFemme... I sincerely wish you all the best

Same goes for you Aerogram, I hope the implant will be successful and that your hearing will be significantly improved...

Thinking of both of you through this ...

I'm sorry to hear about your condition, VioletFemme...but inspired to read how you've chosen to respond to it... And you're 100% correct...never take things for granted...use everything you've been given to appreciate and experience the beauty we're surrounded by everyday...not simply because you may one day lose it, but because there's no reason not to...

Best wishes and prayers for your health...

wellbeyond said:

So beautifully true... you are truly beautiful VioletFemme . Your acquitance has been my pleasure and by all means... your existence is beautifully important. Beautiful well wishes your way...

Beautiful night as well... (((sigh))), life and all that life entails... is truly beautiful in so many ways.

Aerogram said:

Aerogram, thank you so much for your good wishes and for sharing what you did. You gave me a lot of positive things to think about, and I appreciate that. I'm also glad to hear your father-in-law's sight was improved after his surgery.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers this week, that your ear implant will be a success.

Aerogram

teller said:

You are so right about how the body changes as we age, and how those changes can teach us many valuable lessons.

Thank you, teller.

Teller

I was going to leave a separate thank-you for each of the beautiful messages on this thread but I thought maybe I shouldn't make all those posts by me in a row like that.

But I want:
Bellebeyond
feltbluish
Diva
Wellbeyond
Freespirit

to know how much your words and good thoughts mean to me, and how much I appreciate your taking the time to say what you did. Among other things, these past few days have also taught me a lot about reaching out when you're feeling afraid, and how many good people there are in the world.

Thanks again you guys.

Thanks to all who expressed their good wishes. My cochlear implant will be switched on tomorrow at noon, and I can't sleep right now -- too excited!

A special thank you to Femme. I'm glad I could instill more hope. Two years ago, I had the same experience right here on the Org -- came back from the eye doctor worried sick about my sight, which had suddenly dropped to 20/500 after being stable at 20/300 for years. I had just received similar bad news about my hearing just weeks earlier, so I was a wreck. I talked about it here on the Org and it heped a great deal, especially with friends such as Azure, Wellbeyond, Organgrinder, DavidEye, Gustavo, Bootsie.. then later on with RDHull and a couple of AMPers. This kind of support is one of the nicer things places such as AMP and the Org can do for someone.

Oh, wow, Aero... Congrats on getting your implants turned on tomorrow...! (guess I should read all the posts..lol) You've been mentioning having this done for 2 years now...so it is indeed pretty exciting...Best of luck to you as well, mon ami...

My prayers go to you and your mother and hope you come out of this okay.

I just saw this Stay positive and best of luck Femme. Sharing our concert experiences with people such as yourself is a great pleasure.