I thought of this after i read King Sausage's 'Random thoughts' thread, but i didn't want to go unread(kudos to KS for jogging my memory)
Not for the weak stomached:

A couple friends and i play basketball every week at a local community gym. One night this past spring, we went out for ribs afterwards and pigged out on bbq ribs, chicken, fries and beer. On our way home i had to take a crap so bad--i couldn't wait, so i pulled over behind a burger king that was closed for the night.

I squatted 10 ft from the car and unloaded my cowpie sized crap right there.
I didn't have any tissue so i ripped my underwear out of my shorts and wiped my ass, then threw the underwear in the pile.

When i got back to the car, a huge whiff of stench came with me and my buddies almost barfed on the spot, thinking i had shit in my pants. I reassured them i hadn't and drove away.
...I went by the spot 2 days later and the heap of shit and my underwear we're still there-no one had cleaned it up!!

I just wanted to share my frolics with you...

Please feel free to add your thoughts or stories--thanks! -MrC.

Awww, seeing as though no one has posted, I took pity on you - now what on earth was going through your mind when you posted this? What were you thinking of or what were you gonna achieve? You want us to tell you our stories, right? Ok, I'm gonna move on...




though!

this is the same thing that happened to me at work. twice in 2 weeks, actually.

horrible feeling, isn't it? when you think there's a possibility that you might actually shit your pants for real?

REDFEATHERS said:

Red, you're alright in my book. Thanks for the post but not necessary. I am self amusing...among other things. I think i'm missing that inner filter most people have- but i can't figure out if that sucks for me or sucks for them.

peace, babe!!

mrchristian said:

Did you find my pussy?

Beast said:

Especially when you feel that girgle girgle...and you drop everything you're doing running for the door.

mrchristian said:

mrchristian, that inner filter shat itself around the back of Burger King, yeah you are missing it!

BTW - I was being sarcastic when I posted you - not a f*cking nerd!

REDFEATHERS said:

I dig it when you say pussy. Aaah but if you were hither, i'd ring thy bell thrice, my precious pink panther.

oops, there goes that filter again...d'oh!

oops, wrong thread.
[This message was edited Tue Dec 3 9:19:08 PST 2002 by nightwing]

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[This message was edited Fri May 14 5:28:36 2004 by Christopher]

mrchristian said:

Good thing that you did not have the runs because you really would have been shit out of luck.

Christopher said:

Why thank you...flattering gets you everywhere.

Another one for a good laugh, mainly for Red since she likes dirty stories:
One day a friend of mine from LA came to visit. A buddy of mine is a pilot and he took as for a round over Berlin in a small Cessna plane. Since he had 300 horsepowers in that engine he turned a couple of loopings. I had fun, but my buddy was scared as hell. he had that look in is face, that look ... the way a little bambi looks at you right before its eyes break and it starts to cry... anyway, I asked him if he was cool, he said "sure man, all groovy"... he was lying.
On the way back from that small country airport we were driving on the autobahn, going about 100 mph when my friend said he had to puke. I asked: "whatdoyoumean... NOW?" "he smiled, said: "now." I go: "shall I pull over? wait, I need to slow down first." but it was too late. my friend opened the window, and he puked outta my car.
since we were going 100 mph... you can imagine his puke left a trace on my car... the whole right side was covered with it. as we entered the city we had to make a stop at a red light. imagine it was hot... it was summer and really hot... the puke started to develop that type of aroma you never wanna even think of smelling.
so we stop at this light, my friend rolls down his window... amd nxet to us on the right sits this beautful chick in her brandnew convertible... as she looked at us and at hour car you can imagine the disguise in her face... my friend just stared back at her and he gave her a beautiful smile... the girl took off although the light was still red...
that cracked me up, just wanted to take the chance to share it. the car was cleaned right after that, imagine the dude at the car wash when he saw us coming...
[This message was edited Fri Sep 20 6:18:31 PDT 2002 by soulpower]

Ok mrchristian, I give up...this thread seems to be going somewhere now...
Back in the 1980's we girls would wear skin tight trousers, real, real tight... Ok and my friend happened to be wearing some 'to die for' white jeans and a white tiny short cropped top..we were walking down the street, shopping, and every man was oogling us - 'cos we are hot! when my friend felt the need to go to the toilet, she had bad wind, but as there were no toilets in the vicinity, she thought she would just let rip...(a small girlie one, that we never ever normally do, ) Unfortunately it turned out to be ..em not, wind, and she shat herself big time. As the trousers were so tight it shot right out of her jeans and up her backside! I am sooo glad that wasn't me!

Red, wow, that really grossed me out...which is hard to do mind you.

Here's another one:
When i was a kid, my brother and i went out for pizza with about 10 kids for a friend's birthday, John Bogdan
We all ate a ton of pizza, the birthday boy had a whole pizza himself(he was kind of a rolly polly).

We all piled into his mom's station wagon heading home and about a mile from his house, John got sick as a dog and started barfing up his pizza.
We were all stuck in the station wagon-especially in back- with the smell of vomit in the air. One by one, each kid-my brother included--started yacking up their food.
As soon as his mom stopped the car, we all jumped out of the car, running for fresh air. After a while, we had to get back in, roll down the windows and get home before we were done, covered in throwup.
John never lived that day down, as we always gave him crap for that.