OK, i hear all this CRAP from women saying, ohh a prenup would kill the romance, it's like saying we're not gonna be together forever

What a bunch of crap!, ladies listen...it's a statistical FACT that over 50% of mariages fail, the number of singles in the US alone is over 200 million.

A prenup is not saying anything about your relationship, it's simply some legal protection should things fail.

I mean, WHY should a woman be automatically entitled to 50% of everything...it's madness, fair enough if kids are born then things change and the man has to pay.

But you don't need 50% to do that unless your hubbie is some broke ass....
I'd like to put this question to the ladies...if it's all about the love and romance then why should it matter?

If he wants a prenup why should you care?, in fact..if it's all about love not money then sign the prenup and have it state if the marriage fails you'll get nothing.


HA!...now let's see what the ladies would say.

What if the woman has more assets than the man? You are assuming all prenups are arranged only by the men..

as long as its reasonable and the ex husband or wife recognizes that the spouse that they are divorcing has put in just as much time and effort into the relationship as they did then it should be cool.

I would get a pre-nup!

I'm all for prenups, I would get one.

The marriage has "temporary" written all over it with a pre-nup.
Besides, there's other ways to protect one's assets. Trusts set up pre-marriage...all you need is a good attorney. Inheritances aren't included in marital property.
Not all countries recognize pre-nups.

REDBABY said:

you tell 'em red. lib... read what you wrote again and see how biased it is.


i would say yes for myself because if we say our "i do's" it will probably be a little bit quicker than we normally would due to visa stuff. if he inherits his father's business i shouldn't have any claim to it and if i inherit my parent's land he should lay any claim to it. never mind all the other little stuff between us.

hell YES i would do a pre-nup. of course, i don't have anything worth pre-nupping, so i should probably be against it so i can drain my next potential partner for all they're worth.

what i mean to say is, trust is all a relationship needs.

i most definitely would. i've become practical.

Definately not for me.

But.....Never sign a prenup. Have a lawyer review it who will tell you what can and cannot be in it and for what reasons. The lawyer will also let you know what you are giving up as well as what rights you are giving up should there ever be a divorce.

liberation said:

Exactly. Some people seem to think it's unromantic to sign a prenup. I think it's the opposite, because if you have one then you are minimizing the influence money would have on the decision to stay together or break up, and love instead takes center stage.

emm said:

Indeed.

I think when u divorce u get fuck all from each other. u cant be together yet u want everything u can from them? whats that about? Why should somebody pay for somebodys lifestyle once their life stlye doesn't include u anymore (kids aside). I think automatically a home should be split in two and any savings possesions u have or are in your name remain your own. I dont want anything off of my partner if we split.

Its like chris rock says when his wife wants to take him for half - "i've got to keep living in a way im accustomed too"

chris - "well im accustomed to a little pussy when i feel like, but i sure aint gonna get none"



if your gone.. u get shit.

my fiance's lawers wanted me to sign one but Pat wouldnt let me
He says that the wife should get everything anyway.....

To me it has nothing to do with stuff its about the kids involved and whats best for them (if there are any)

I have nothing to protect. But if my future mate asked me to sign one I would without any problems.

look if the both of you got shit and you put it together its ya'lls shit if ya both aint got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of? then whats the fuckin point hmmmm?

luv4u said:

Great point. In most cases, there's a wealthy male who knows contracts, attorneys, been married a few times, etc and a younger, more naive female.
Definitely consult your own attorney, especially if you plan on having children.
Never sign anything you don't understand.
How many here, who would sign a pre-nup, have a full grasp of legal terminology??

(When it came to estate planning, I hired my own advisor. This was after 23 years of marriage. )
[Edited 3/24/07 16:10pm]

If it is something both agree on ... and draw up a mutual contract together with help from a nutural lawyer

sure... I would, no worries

Mach said:

Be sure the attorney states he is able to "represent both of you".
Don't use some old croney of the future spouse who's not objective.

xplnyrslf said:

well DUH

It depends on how our lives will be once we marry...

If both parties are doing their own thing career wise & intend to keep it that way, then why not sign. BUT if it's the type of marriage where his career comes first so she gives up her career to be with him/travel w/ him/raise their children/maintain their household, then she should be compensated in the end b/c she gave up her viable options of making a living in the future. There's nothing worse than a woman who's made her family her life only to have her children grow up, her husband leave & she's 50+ w/ no skills & jack shit in the bank...

Granted, some of the women who marry into these situations have nothing going on career-wise when they marry so they're just getting paid for divorcing the right guy. But for women who are career oriented who actually consider giving something up for the relationship, it's definitely something to think about.

And lets face it, a prenup ain't gonna come up unless someone's got some cash.

That said, I could never be the stay @ home & raise the kids type. I plan on doing my own thing. I'd sign, as long as my career didn't have to suffer b/c of the marriage...


.
[Edited 3/24/07 16:28pm]

CalhounSq said:

Exactly.

The simple answer is just to not get married in the first place. This is what sickens me about American culture. It all comes down to money.

Mach said:

When it came to estate planning, the attorney my husband hired was very condescending towards me.( Maybe because I'm 15 yrs younger than my husband). My husband knew him from previous dealings. Anyway, I didn't understand it all, and felt any questions I asked would make me look stupid. It was worth every cent to get outside advice. And there were a couple of changes that were made as a result.

xplnyrslf said:

well that had to suck for you

My friend signed a pre nup..

It even stated that this chair was his and that table was hers etc etc

Dunno why the hell she did it.

She has 2 kids to feed and he barely gives her enough housekeeping money
She told me she has used the money from the sale of her own house years ago to buy food and clothing for their children
he is a tight bastard

and she sneaked into their bureau one day when he was out..
he is loaded.. got stocks and shares and savings galore

I just dont know why she did it, and I still dont know why she puts up with him..

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Well, it's not "American culture". There's plenty of knock-down drag-out divorces in Europe.
We have friends with a ranch in South Africa. Women cannot inherit family estates. Property can only go to male heirs. Traditionally, women haven't had the rights we have today. With divorce, the woman's standard of living generally goes down.
All I'm saying is: If you don't understand it, don't sign a thing until you do. Simply works out better in the long run.

CalhounSq said:

If you have children, SOMEONE's career is going to take a back seat. Usually not the primary bread winner.
Make sure that's in writing.

xplnyrslf said:

With me the whole kid thing is a big "if". At my age the dude will probably have kids from a previous relationship already & I'm running out of time to have kids so it's very possible that it won't be a factor for me...

REDBABY said:

She needs to take a closer look at the yearly tax statement, not just sign it. And get a copy for her records.