WillyWonka said:

I used to feel just like this. I think I'm jaded.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Me too. And I know I am jaded.
But I also give donate money charities other ways and I give what I think I can afford. So I'm indirectly helping them if they find 'official' help.

Anx said:

Oh, I completely agree with you. I realize the scams and that giving money often merely only enables the panhandler's addiction and doesn't really "help" them in any real way. I used to travel to New York often and it was there that most of my experiences with panhandlers have taken place; I'd never before in my life experienced that phenomena to the degree I did in New York. It was very disconcerting.

It is just so difficult for me to look them in the eye and say no, despite my realization of the reality of the situationm, although I've gotten taken a few times too, so I fully understand your frustration and disgust in regards to that.

The ones I grew to have little trouble saying no to were the gaggles of rude, obnoxious punk kids lined up against the buildings down in the East Village, who would hurl insults at passersby who didn't give to them. They were just awful.

WillyWonka said:

Oh, those lovely St. Marks/Astor Place urchins. They called me a yuppie once because I wouldn't give them money. I almost gave them money afterwards, just for calling me something so ridiculous.

Once when I was entering the 14th Street ACE Station (I believe at 8th Ave), a well-groomed lady in a nice dress approached me and asked if I could possibly give her any change, because she had locked herself out of her apartment and she was trying to contact her husband (this was pre-cell phone ubiquity). I gave her a quarter because I used to lock myself out of my apartment all the time and I knew the feeling.

A week later, I am passing the same subway station and the same lady is in the stairwell, stopping people and telling them she locked herself out of her apartment and needs a quarter for the phone.

Only in New York, kids.

Every time I walk outside. L.A. is sick with people asking for handouts.

When I used to work in San Francisco there was a really aggressive pan handler. He would come up to me and demand money. It was almost like he was going to beat the hell out of me. I used to just get out of his way and keep walking. He would go into these tantrum kind of fits. It was really kind of scary.


M

Anx said:

Yeah, except now St. Marks is all gentrified...a Chipotle, karaoke suites, Subway, etc. Although Tompkins Square Park is still a little 'edgy' yet...

Anx said:

Au contraire. Check this story from when I was in Chi-town. I used to catch the bus in front of the Walgreens on Chicago & Michigan. Every day the same guy was out in front selling "Streetwise-help-the-homeless" papers and every day his line was, "It's my birthday, please help me. Buy a Streetwise." One day I was leaving work in a very bad mood and he was all, "It's my birthday, please buy a paper" to me. I said, "You say every damn day is your birthday. You're lying, you need to pick a day and stick with it." He cussed me out calling me a fucking bitch, etc. just cause I called him out. Whateva.

And outside of Chicago Place (by Saks) a guy tried to sell me an Onion Newspaper (cause it looks similar to Streetwise, with the green header), when I said, "That paper is the Onion & its free." I got cussed out too.

I generally ignore panhandlers, or give them a polite "no thanks" when they offer for me to give them money. I've seen too many scams. Everyone has a sob story...



PS. My theory is to look at their shoes, if they have nice or generally clean shoes, they aren't in dire straits/homeless. If they are barefoot or their shoes are hanging on by a piece of tape, then they're really homeless. I've found this to be fairly accurate.
[Edited 12/11/06 13:32pm]

I've never had a really bad experience, which is surprising given the number in Berkeley. Some are a bit aggressive, but nobody's been too aggressive.

But I am annoyed by young panhandlers who ask for money for pot. The worst part for me is not that they're young, or that they're openly asking for money for drugs (which I don't really have a problem with), but that this whole lifestyle appears to be a choice for them.

It's up to them what they do with their lives, of course, but it disturbes me.
[Edited 12/11/06 14:07pm]

NDRU said:

I saw a kid doing that in West Hollywood the other day and I thought it was hilarioius. Not that I'm into pot, but I'm into creative signage.

live4lust said:

I thought the honesty was refreshing & amusing at first

"spare some change for pot, spare some pot for a change?"

but it got old quick.

I want to sit around & have someone support my drug habit, too! And that's all I feel like I'm doing. I really feel many of these kids are college students who made the choice to sit around & beg, where some of the older homeless folks have no other choice. I'm much more likely to support them.

LA & SF has so many homeless it made me jaded, I admit!

As I was coming out of a store close to Christmas once, a kid with a pair of $100 Nike shoes and a nice pair of jeans and a nice jacket asked me for money to buy toys because he said his parents didn't have any money to buy him anything. WTF!!!!!

I just looked at his shoes and laughed. But I bet a lot of people felt sorry for him and gave him money .

i only give if i have a couple of dollars in my pocket...if i don't then, oh well..they get nothing. i know it sounds harsh, but i've read stories where people literally go into their wallet or purse to get money, then they knocked up side the head and are victims of a staged robbery. i try to avoid that.

Sowhat said:

Okay! A couple years ago I went to the Post Office to get a letter to Santa. (The post offices in NYC collect letters to "santa" and then you can take one and buy gifts for families that don't have enough.) So I pick up a letter and it's all, "Dear Santa, can I have a BabyPhat jacket some Timbalands..." The next one is "please send me $200 for Christmas." I was like, "shit, what happened to 'can I have a Barbie or teddy bear?'" Sadly, I couldn't afford to buy any of that stuff, so I didn't end up taking a letter.

Anx said:

Astor Place, yes that was it!

A yuppie. I don't recall exactly what it was they said to me but, if memory serves, I believe they suggested a couple unnatural acts I should attempt performing upon myself, and also they didn't care for my mother.

I once remember a guy asking the person he was talking to on his cell phone to "hold on for a sec" while he asked me for change!

WillyWonka said:

I thought this was about people who were from the Panhandle of Texas, Oklahoma, Florida or Nebraska.

meow85 said:

In my defence, i don't even realize i walk faster when passing someone. its a bad habit and i admit it. but i do give money quite often. i have had a couple times where i have chosen not to give money to people, like the joker downtown, because he was going too far (running across busy streets to catch me and lurch). most of the time however i don't carry cash or change and i feel bad saying i don't have anything to give them. i feel when i tell them i'm not carrying any cash they think i'm an asshole thats just lieing to be a cheapskate. but thats just my opinion. i have talked to many homeless and had some good talks about their adventures, my favourites are the travellers that like to talk about how far they've come. but i do admit that there are a couple of people i've met that have scared me a bit, the joker that ran across a busy street upon seeing us for like the 5th time in a week, the guy who reached into my car when my window wasn't even fully down.

FlyAway said:

oh, i don't mean 'newspaper'. we do have homeless and recovering addicts selling those from established organizations. i buy from from them to ssupport their recovery. i'm referring to the gypsies that walk up to you pretending to be mute or illiterate, with a hand written index card describing their misfortune...but translated into english, french, german, spanish, and japanese

lazycrockett said:

You don't need to look any further than the language people use when speaking on the topic. Those aren't people at the shelter, they're homeless; bums; transients; the criminal element. But not people.

WillyWonka said:

It would do people a lot of good to remember that.

Sowhat said:

clears throat You'd be surprised the number of families who spend all their available money on big label clothes, then can't afford to pay the electric bill, or buy groceries, or toys for Christmas. That kid may have been well-dressed -but he also might have been telling the truth.

meow85 said:

Thats a good point But I guess it comes down to their choices in the end....I dunno its a tough one for me to judge.

Daznym17 said:

Settle down, Dave!

I know we've had our, erm, talks on this before, but I actually wasn't referring to you.

meow85 said:

hahaha ok, i wasn't upset or unsettled, just putting my two cents out there again, lol. and i may have thought a couple comments were in reference to me, lol.

susannah said:

If it's a well dressed adult asking for change, I tend to think they're a dumbass and don't share in my meagre wealth. But if it's a kid? They're getting some cash, no questions asked. There could be any number of reasons a 14 year old in pricier clothes than I could afford for myself is begging for change.

Yeah, I know that some beggers are just out to scam people of their money, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's happened to me before. But that doesn't mean everybody is, or even a majority.

You know, I used to live in San Francisco and I still visit there a few times a year, so I couldn't posibly pinpoint just one experience. They all just sort of run together now.

I've had some good experiences though that I remember. This one older guy used to sit on the same bench every day around the corner from my ballet school in S.F. I'd get coffee everyday a few doors down, and I started always giving him my change from coffee on my way to class. He was always very cool and talkative.

Then I moved away, and about 6 years later, came back to visit S.F. with my husband. I was doing the exact same thing: getting coffee before taking class at my old school. I saw a man sitting on that bench and I was shocked that is was the same guy! We both pointed at each other and said "Hey! It's you!" So I gave him my change of course. It was so weird that he recognized me and that he was still there.

Then, also in S.F. on the Muni, this blind guy was handing out these children's pens with a note attached. You've seen these things before: the note says something like, "I'm blind/deaf/handicapped, etc. Would you buy this pen from me for $1...." and so on. So I bought one from him. It was a blue pen with bunnies or something on it, and the ink smelled like grapes.

This was when I was about 19 years old. I'm 33 now and I still have it! It still works, still smells like grapes, and so far I haven't lost it *fingers crossed* I call it my lucky pen because I can't believe it still works.

minneapolisgenius said:

Thats a lovely story! SEE! It can work out good

susannah said:

I know. I always wonder what happened to that guy and what he's doing now. Sometimes, (and only in emergencies!) I let people use my pen. And when they do, they always say, "Hey, it smells like grape!"

minneapolisgenius said:

Very special pen!