SnakePeel said:

hmm this is interesting what you say about men. but its true, women are brought up to "make sure you keep yourself looking good so that you can marry well". it's almost like its forced upon you. it's expected of you to get married at least once, but what they don't tell you is how insecure you get with this type of setting in your head. a lot relationships are ruined by a woman who is hell bent on getting married, it drives the guy nuts. my male friends have told me. I can even say for myself i've felt the pressure from family members, constantly asking me, "so, have you been dating lately?" If i am then someone tells me, "okay someone with potential i hope". and if i'm not with anyone then its the "well what's wrong with you? are you driving the guys away with your attitude?" It's KRAZY the pressure women have with the "you must get married" upbringing.

I have to say that I just realized that I need to have fun. And damn it if i find a guy who likes having fun with me, then thats that, and if something else comes from it, then whatever happens, happens. With this type of thinking, i've built my esteem back up (for the most part), and I don't let anyone tell me or ask me "so is this someone you can see yourself with in the future?". Hell if i know, i just know that like is too short and being happy and having fun is what makes life worth while.
[Edited 11/1/06 14:56pm]

I'm single too and I wonder all of the things you've just stated. Sure, I'd enjoy a life partner...but, marriage? I think I may be too old.

applekisses said:

Too old?????

You're ten years younger than me. If you're old, what am I???

SnakePeel said:

hmm this is interesting what you say about men. but its true, women are brought up to "make sure you keep yourself looking good so that you can marry well". it's almost like its forced upon you. it's expected of you to get married at least once, but what they don't tell you is how insecure you get with this type of setting in your head. a lot relationships are ruined by a woman who is hell bent on getting married, it drives the guy nuts. my male friends have told me. I can even say for myself i've felt the pressure from family members, constantly asking me, "so, have you been dating lately?" If i am then someone tells me, "okay someone with potential i hope". and if i'm not with anyone then its the "well what's wrong with you? are you driving the guys away with your attitude?" It's KRAZY the pressure women have with the "you must get married" upbringing.

I have to say that I just realized that I need to have fun. And damn it if i find a guy who likes having fun with me, then thats that, and if something else comes from it, then whatever happens, happens. With this type of thinking, i've built my esteem back up (for the most part), and I don't let anyone tell me or ask me "so is this someone you can see yourself with in the future?". Hell if i know, i just know that like is too short and being happy and having fun is what makes life worth while.
[Edited 11/1/06 14:56pm]

But you're a guy.

Women are constantly told that if they don't marry by a certain age, no one will want them because they are past their prime and too old.

I don't think men are told this.

JustErin said:

No, but people ask me sh!t like, "What's wrong with you?", or "You're not gay, are you?"(I'm dead serious)

Anyone who would say that to a woman is ignorant and irrevelant. F--- them, just do your thing. When someone can walk on water, then they can tell you how to live your life.

uPtoWnNY said:

Yes, I can see how some people would say silly things like "you must be gay", but I think that perpetual bachelor lifestyle of men is considered "cool" and even envied by many. In stark contrast, the single lady later in life is often looked at as the crazy cat lady spinster and is never, ever looked as as cool and is even pitied by many.

Either way, subscribing to the thought that one should have to be doing something by a certain age (or ever) is really (for lack of a better word) moronic.

Wow, this post sure is a perfect example of terrible grammar.
Oh well.
[Edited 11/1/06 16:02pm]

marriage is OK, I think being a parent is overrated it's no fucking fairytale that's for sure

marriage is OK, I think being a parent is overrated it's no fucking fairytale that's for sure

ZombieKitten said:

Being a parent is certainly no fairytale, but I would never, ever call it "overrated".

JustErin said:

People should not go into it parenthood with the expectation that it will make them happy and fulfilled - I think that is selfish way to think of it, yet that is the way it is presented.

You will have moments that are unequalled in intensity when it comes to love, amazement and wonder, and you feel closer to god. On the other hand, once you have a child you are a walking open wound that never heals.

ZombieKitten said:

For me, being a parent has nothing to do with "god" or filling a void. I do feel sorry for people (and their children) who have children for those reasons.

It's wonderful, it's a definite challenge...but it's never overrated, imo of course.

JustErin said:

I was an agnostic before I had my children, but having the children was a near religious experience.

ZombieKitten said:

it has changed my views on pro-choice (when it comes to me-not anyone else)

JustErin said:

Man.

Canada's like a whole 'nother country.

brownsugar said:

Me too...but just for me as well.

JustErin said:

you know I spent the whole day Sunday thinking I was pregnant. It did come down to what are we going to do? It would be the fourth child. Could we do this? I discovered that for myself I could never terminate, no matter how much hardship we would have to endure. What if it was another Oscar, or Wally or Max - and of course it WOULD be another human being as wonderful as any and all of those 3 - how could I not let this child live? It answered that question for me. However I am pro-choice in general.

ZombieKitten said:

ZombieKitten said:

That's why I'll never have kids. It's f-n hard work, 24/7, 365 days a year for at least 20 years. The problem is too many people are having kids that shouldn't. We read and hear the horror stories every day about child abuse and neglect. Folks need to do serious soul searching before they think about marriage & kids. Sh!t is no joke, and it costs loot.

uPtoWnNY said:

there are good things about having kids like ermmmm and ohh


can i get back to you

just remembered when they go to sleep thats Bliss

oldpurple said:

yes! when they are all finally asleep and you look at your watch and think wow! I have half an hour to do whatever I like before I go to bed myself.

ZombieKitten said:

Fauxie said:

do you know how rarely that happens? how rarely our 2 schedules are synchronised so we are NOT tired at exactly the same time?

ZombieKitten said:

Once a week?

Am I right?

What do I win?

Fauxie said:

or twice even!

it's more in the holidays

ZombieKitten said:

I live with my in-laws so I feel your pain.

Fauxie said:

you don't have to share a bedroom with them do you?

ZombieKitten said:

No, thankfully not. The parents actually sleep downstairs and often we have all of upstairs to ourselves. It gets a bit much in the morning when Mon's mother shouts out to her to come down and help her turn on the washing machine or something though. We have to get a hotel room for a night from time to time to get it out of our systems, so to speak.