When I was growing up, it was always taught to me that I will find somebody who is mean't for me, I will marry this man and we will have a family. It's sought of like a dream to me that I just haven't conquered yet. I still believe that someday I will get married, (at least for the most part) but right now it seems like its so far away. Sometimes I get frustrated and feel like what if I don't meet that special someone and I end up being alone the rest of my life? Or if I do meet the man and marry him, will he turn out to be the wrong person, not the person that I thought? It's scary.

Especially with nowdays that people are most likely to live together for years rather than get married. So is this whole idea of marriage overrated? Is it old-fashioned? Am I crazy to think that marriage is an important thing to look
forward to?

Not overrated for me. After 25 years of marriage, it's a partnership. With children, accumulated assets, property..etc. I have more legal rights than if I weren't married. Isn't there someone on the org who has accounting experience that could explain the nitty gritty????
This is assuming you find the right person for you.

xplnyrslf said:

Don't common-law couples have the same rights?

JustErin said:

It depends from state to state in the US. In Minnesota there's no such thing as 'common-law' so, no, if you're not married there are no rights.

My advice to anyone is, never get married.

Depends on who you are and what you're looking for in a relationship.

gemini13 said:

$ $
^
O

SpisaRibb said:

My mother always told me to marry for money.

Most people are not happily married so don't worry about it. The reason marriages still occur is because of women like you who were brought up to believe that's the way your life was supposed to go.

I recently saw footage on CNN of women lining up for a sale in wedding dresses. It was pathetic. Then you see the women stampeding through the store for the dresses. That says it all about how misguided women are about this and what they were brought up to believe.

I know some young women my age who meet a guy one day, and in a month are in love and by the time 6 months rolls around are engaged to get married. I'm like do you even know this person? It's like they are jumping in to get married just to see what its like, then once they are in, they are calling me telling me to "never get married, stay single as long as you can, wish i had". I guess thats what happens when you settle.

and women look at me like i'm crazy when i say "hell no i won't settle, i refuse to just settle for just some ole' guy just to have someone". I guess this is why i don't have many female friends...

I know some young women my age who meet a guy one day, and in a month are in love and by the time 6 months rolls around are engaged to get married. I'm like do you even know this person? It's like they are jumping in to get married just to see what its like, then once they are in, they are calling me telling me to "never get married, stay single as long as you can, wish i had". I guess thats what happens when you settle.

and women look at me like i'm crazy when i say "hell no i won't settle, i refuse to just settle for just some ole' guy just to have someone". I guess this is why i don't have many female friends...

CarrieMpls said:

Well, that sucks.

It's certainly not that way in Canada. Common-law marriage applies to everyone (regardless of the gender of the couples) that have been in a live together relationship for over a year (I think it might be 3 in some provinces) and they have the same rights that married couples have.

Spats said:

Amen.

I will never get married. Period. Our society's glorification of marriage has turned me into a total misanthrope. I hate my fellow men because after decades of fucking women and loving it, suddenly they hit 40 and they do opt for one of these cliched options: 1) Begin to feel social pressure from their peers about getting married, just as women do in their 30s. 2) They have a life-crisis and suddenly scream 'FUCK! I need to have a child so I can leave something behind."
3) They freak out about "not having someone there to take care of me when I'm older" (YES, MANY MEN STILL SAY THIS SHIT). 4) Some mixed-up combo of the above three.
Women? Jesus Christ...don't get me started. I turn into a raging misogynist when I see these 'I can't wait to get married' women at the bridal fairs. I just want to scream at them, "I hope your first child is born with a club foot."

Disclaimer: I mean some of this to be tongue-in-cheek (like the last comment). So please, no "I can't believe what an asshole you are" rebuttals. 'K? 'K.

SnakePeel said:

hmm this is interesting what you say about men. but its true, women are brought up to "make sure you keep yourself looking good so that you can marry well". it's almost like its forced upon you. it's expected of you to get married at least once, but what they don't tell you is how insecure you get with this type of setting in your head. a lot relationships are ruined by a woman who is hell bent on getting married, it drives the guy nuts. my male friends have told me. I can even say for myself i've felt the pressure from family members, constantly asking me, "so, have you been dating lately?" If i am then someone tells me, "okay someone with potential i hope". and if i'm not with anyone then its the "well what's wrong with you? are you driving the guys away with your attitude?" It's KRAZY the pressure women have with the "you must get married" upbringing.

I have to say that I just realized that I need to have fun. And damn it if i find a guy who likes having fun with me, then thats that, and if something else comes from it, then whatever happens, happens. With this type of thinking, i've built my esteem back up (for the most part), and I don't let anyone tell me or ask me "so is this someone you can see yourself with in the future?". Hell if i know, i just know that like is too short and being happy and having fun is what makes life worth while.
[Edited 11/1/06 14:56pm]

luv4all7 said: