Last night I made a family friend mad. He is close to my parents somehow and by no means is a perv or nothing but he kept trying to hug one of my sons I could tell my child was not comortable and attempted to move away the uncle tried again and was saying "oh come on give me a hug." I, very politely told him that I dont demand my kids to be affectionate with anyone. He contiued to pull at my son then not so politely I demanded that he stop at the same time my son made a fist and said "dont touch me" mind you my son is not a behavior problem and is very loving to me and close family he just did not know this man. People were looking at me like I needed to discipline him.I feel I do not need to. I've taught my kids that no one is to touch them that they dont want to and explained this to the man. I remember getting the evil eye from moms when I was a child for not be affectionate with family or close friends and one turned out to be a pediphile so I refuse to do the same to my kids I also believe that people can sense things in others esp. children. Have any of you had this prob with your relatives or you yourself as a child hated being hugged on by strange people? Did I overreact?

Oh, HELL no.

You did the right thing. And your son clearly knows that his body is his own, and demands respect for his space. That rocks!

It is fucked up to force kids to hug or kiss people when they don't want to. I don't care if they're a friend of the family or their own grandma. It is crucial that we teach our kids that they have the right to decide when and where they will touch or be touched, even if it's a peck on the cheek.

I would NEVER "MAKE"
my children show affection in any manner to anyone they didnt choose to themselves



period !

i've never understood why some parents do stuff like that, anyway. it's stupid.

I definately do NOT! I don't even kiss my kids on the lips. I kiss them on the cheek or they kiss me on the cheek. Lots of hugs too.. but affection to others is their choice...not mine.

You did th erite thing. Your kid was just doing what you taught him. No sense in teaching them to just sit there and do nothing when someone is making them feel uncomfprtable, rite?

Don't worry about getting looks from other parents. Your kids are yours to raise, not theirs.

You did the right thing! You certainly didn't overreact.
[Edited 10/13/06 10:29am]

I agree with you. They shouldn't be made to do anything of the sort.

Just as a story kinda representing the opposite, I was over at an old friend's house a while back. I was about to leave and her two daughters (ages 5 and 3) saw that I was leaving and both ran up to me and gave me hugs before I went through the door. Neither one of them really knew me, but they knew that I was good friends with their mother so that must have made it okay in their eyes. I just wasn't expecting it at all!

TMPletz said:

That's sweet!

Only when rent gets overdue and there's a convention in town.

I think you did the right thing. If your son wasn't comfortable with giving this person a hug, he should not be forced to do so.

We have a few friends whose kids always want to hug us, but if they didn't I would not want the parents to force them. I can see asking the kid for a hug, but if the kid shys away, then leave them be.

U did xactly the right thing. No child should ever b forced 2 show physical affection, even 2 a family member.

Never ...a child has a right to their own space and to feel comfortable...

ditto everyone. lol.

irrisistableB said:

this reminds me of a counter point.
Do you make people like your kids. Like show them pics and ask them if they think they are cute, or just interact with your children period?
I dont like kids, especially other peoples kids. And I dont like it when people expect you to say thier kids are cute, when they are ugly.