Natisse said:

I know where you're coming from. In the last couple of years Ive really seen that Gemma is not the same as the rest who disappeared in that time. Im grateful for her.

And you!

Im just really not good at calling someone when Im bored or lonely, I dont know what to say! I just feel too stubborn to do that too...I am still a total hermit when Im down

i felt the same way too for a while, but this past summer I've been the one having most of the fun. Fun is what you make, whether you are out with friends, or home alone. When i'm at home, if i don't feel like going out, i usually will put on a Marlon Brando movie and make myself a latte with some candles burning. Make the most of it and try not to feel lonely.

thesexofit said:

well, Im glad for you! I havent felt that way for a while

susannah said:

totally understandable, sweetie just remember my phone is always on if you ever need or want to, ok? ... not that you ever need a reason or excuse to call, of course, always happy to hear your voice

susannah said:

cool - let us know!

susannah said:

That's happened to me, except with a guy friend. I fucking hate it...I don't understand how you can be really close friends with someone & then the second they find a significant other they vanish.

...people suck. My new goal is to not get attached to anyone new, and just keep the three close friends I have.

missfee said:

Thanks

But what if you're at home alone and you DO feel like going out? And everyone else is busy? Or at least, everyone that you can bring your sorry stubborn bashful ass to ask?!

Just grin and bear it? And research your dissertation some more and be positive?



Yeah ok...for now. Its not bloody fair, why do I never get to go out??? Why am I single??

rant over

Thanks

evenstar3 said:

attachment is the source of all pain

Natisse said:

thanks honey, same goes for you

susannah said:

Yeah but iam a very simple person. I smile at just about anything.

susannah said:

Girl i've been there!!! I use to cry it out, or just go to bed way earlier than usual. THat way if anybody called, I wouldn't answer the phone,and it would LOOK like i was actually doing something worth while. THen the next time I would talk to them I would just say that I was out.....sometimes that made me feel better....

Never bloody mind
[Edited 10/11/06 14:20pm]

thesexofit said:

What if you're sad? I can't lie, people get the truth at all times. Is a total curse.

missfee said:

I always go to bed earlier!! But its only to stop myself waiting for the phone to ring! Sleep is my cure for everything it just makes it go away, its amazing. But it makes me feel like such a loser.

What am I gonna do Fee?!

Yeah, in all seriousness Susannah. I'm normally a very sociable person. Ya gotta put yourself out there and be outgoing. I totally join everything. Cook for bake sales and stuff. I pretty much make friends and stay in touch and hang out with everyone I ever come into contact with.

Which tends to be annoying and bite me in the ass at times like these where I just wanna be left alone.

But the point is. Have parties. Invite the people your even just aquanted with, and not REAL friendly with yet. You will BECOME friends. A LOLT of my really great friends, are ones I wouldn't have NORMALLY picked but we really compliment eachothers personalities.

I think by default most people are crap at keeping in contact. You might meet loads of people in life but only a very small minority will be classed as real friends who actually keep in contact. Some people get in a familiar comfortable relationship or setup and then lose contact with others becuase their current situation is just easy whereas actually calling and keeping contact is the hard part.

I guess it also depends on what type of person you are - some people naturally attract others and people like being round them for some reason (like luv4all) perhaps they are classed as "leaders", I have one "friend" like that he is very popular and always busy and I imagine he gets fed of people trying to arrange dates with him.

My wife is great at keep in contact with people and therefore my diary is busy but somethimes it is a one way street and if she wasn't the one calling then we would only get Xmas cards and maybe a call after 6 months. My best chum is a very popular guy gets on with everyone but has now said that he is bored of doing the chasing with others so has just stopped calling and whittled his contact list down to "core" people.

Are you a quiet person or life and soul of the party ?if the latter then some people just assume you are always busy because that might be how you come across.

In summary: Assume people are rubbish are maintaining relationships unless they want something from you and keep searching for someone with the same view as you.

luv4all7 said:

I do try to do that, but I guess the short version is that this past year I had a really rough time, and fenced myself off from the world a bit...Im still trying to make it up I guess!

susannah said:

I get dissed alot. People call me soft and a pussy because i dont do the nasty shit i use to do, but fuck 'em. I just want a simple life. I dont have ambitions, and contrary to popular belief, i dont feel bad because i got no goals in life. It don't bother me. Alot of people think iam a loser, and taunt me. Thing is i'll fight back. Where i grew up, and the family i had, u had no choice but to fight. Sounds cliche, but its true. I've been beaten up so many times, i dont care what a few punches can do. Bring it on i say.

Those losers in nightclubs who think iam looking at their girl think they can take a spotty guy with glasses, and often they will, but beatings dont bother me at all. I guess when u've had as many as i have, u get use to it LOL.

I've been down before though, who hasn't?

g3ajg said:

I like the "assume people are rubbish" part!

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense. I really don't know which type of person I am, I used to think I was more the life and soul of the party but now I see how quiet I've become, and Im more the quiet, yet cool, person in the corner attracting people to me. But its not like moths to a flame

I have called loads of people this week just to try and do stuff, but I dunno, I want friends in my life like on TV (yes I know thats unrealistic) Not dates that have to be arranged. I can't wait to live with flatmates again!

Thanks

susannah said:

Well that sounds like you issue then - you have been "out of action" for far too long. Hopefully once you make yourself more available people will just automatically think of you when they are arranging a get together your diary will be full.

thesexofit said:

It don't sound cliche to me mate, I got more scars than Pacino

You're right though, fuck em, you do what you wanna We're alone in this world, sorry but its true, and you have to survive for only yourself. Everything else is fleeting.

g3ajg said:

They never thought of me before that though I think Im more out of action with people, I don't have the confidence I once had to talk to new people, or even the likes of my classmates. I've been in this little safe cocoon for too long that Im scared to come out. Thats what I have to work on, and I guess the rest will come next.

susannah said:

It sucked. I mean, in the end I ended up having an alright time, but before I got married and had kids I had a group of friends and we'd go dancing...I didn't go out to meet people, I took my people with me.

Overall, I am EXTREMELY shy. I stay quiet most of the time as to not impose on people. I don't like talking on the phone, and most people I know don't like the internet, which I prefer. "I'm on the computer all day at work."

I'm trying to break out of it. I feel like I'm just like my mother (which is another thread altogether.) Seriously, she has no friends and it seems so lonely. I'm basically there already myself.

Kinda feel the opposite. Everyone always seems miserable and whoa is me.

Nothinbutjoy said:

snap. My mother is always alone, even though she really is the life and soul of the party. She has no trouble making friends and everyone loves her. Its totally the same as me, and I just dont know how we got this way

Good luck we have to push ourselves...

susannah said:

I know how it feels when in one case, a girl i was really close with friends wise, dropped me when she got her own man, but infact, alot of people get bored with me over time. Both in relationships and just in friendships. They find me cool or at least different at first, but just get bored of me and move on. Though to be fair, as i said, i can appear to be emotionally distant because i do like just chillin' by myself. And in relationships, alot of girls, in particular if they are younger then iam (20), almost demand i see them everyday, which can be dull.

susannah said:

Hmmmmm,

I've discovered that as we all have busy lives and apparantly less time due to work / gym / kids (if applicable) / the internet / satalite tv etc etc I find formally arranging things better. For example I have most Saturday nights planned until Christmas this means I know we can see everyone becuase there is always a risk of leaving things too late and people have other plans. However spontaneous (excuse spelling) dates are also important and great fun so Fridays and Sundays work well just for meeting up whenever.

I think also a lot of poeple obviously have different unrelated friends through their own interests etc and therefore our friends are mixing with others and have less time for us - this isn't a problem so therefore I am a firm believer in organisation. People take the mick but it means we are not in on a Saturday night becuase our friends have made other plans!

To tell the truth,
I log on here for the same reason as that chick with the Anna-Nicole avatar.
To get away from all the people who always trying to swarm around me.

I like it better here on the org.
From where you guys are at,
I don't have to worry 'bout any of you falling prey to my sexual charisma.
Here,
I'm just reg'lar folk.
Just one of you all.






Right, guys?





















Right?

g3ajg said:

I don't have ANY plans! Like ever!

You make a good point I will try to organise things. I just prefer all things spontaneous.

Illustrator said:

Seriously, though, I get that for a while in the last year I was on here all the time to get away, because what was really happening was too hard to deal with, and even making plans with friends was too hard.

But Im over that now, and I wanna do things dammit!