relationship wise...do you personally know anyone who has confided in you that the person they are in a relationship with isn't what they really want, but its better than being alone???

for me, i'd rather be alone than to be with someone who I don't feel any kind of chemistry with. I personally feel that its a move of desperation, and that its sad for one person to be with the other for other reasons (feeling like the clock is running out on starting their own family, feeling like they are getting up in age and should have been married by now, or just flat out can't be alone, use to being in a relationship with anyone). It's just not fair and it hurts feelings. But this is just my thoughts on this.

What are your thoughts?

Askings MrsBorat please

short answer... yes, I think so. but the real answer to that would be quite complex I'm guessing

I'm not sure I'd want to settle, but I can see how it happens. And sure, it is a little sad, but if both people have an understanding of what they have and are committed to it, well, then there you are.

I totally settled, and now I'm paying for it big time. Bad idea. Never settle.

luv4all7 said:

you know life is all about choice... you can CHOOSE to not pay for it hon

but why just settle for a relationship that you KNOW you aren't happy in....???? it's like making yourself like someone that you only have lukewarm feelings for....
[Edited 10/10/06 8:23am]

Borat said:

My parents warn me.

Who let you out? Oh, you know how to pick lock of cage

Must purchases electric trainging collar

Natisse said:

I did choose not to. But the truth is, that if you have children with an asshole, your stuck dealing with him for life, whether your together or not. Atleast I don't have to look at his ugly face when I wake up anymore though.....

why settle for a star, when you can have the sun...c'mon let me do u do u do u do u like you wanna be done....uhm wait..the sun IS a star...just a lot closer...

Borat said:

How was night in chicken coop?

MrsBorat said:

Borat said:

Give back sling shot. And wipe chicken poopies off. Then scrub basement. I have appointment with Gypsie hitma... shaman.

Borat said:

missfee said:

True, but there are a lot of people who would rather settle or have a piece of something that's lukewarm than have nothing at all and be alone, some or maybe even many are afraid to be alone so they settle.

relationships are difficult ... to some people ... enuf said .... i have seen people who you think are 99% happy ... and after u get to know them u realize some odd "relationship" probs etc .... i think relationships are give and take ... and alot of people at "tough times" think they settled for less ....

A lot of times, people end up settling because they either set their sights on the unrealistic image of the perfect mate, which consigns them to the realm of lonliness.....or, which happens just as often, they bill the person they're with or want to be with as the end all/be all of existence...and when that person turns out to be fallible, the image is crushed and they develop the image in their mind that they "settled" for less than great perfection....

...thats not to say that some don't throw in the towel at the end, but somewhere along the line, there had to have been a someone who was right(or as right as it was going to get) for a person that was passed over in the never-ending quest for the greener grass.....and as we all know, all grass is greener until u have to tend to it.....then it just becomes the same old grass....

I could be wrong tho....

How do you know that someone isnt settling on you?
I know because im overconfident.

never settle for less. know your worth.

DarkKnight1 said:

i think a person would know if their mate was settling on them or not. there would be little clues here and there, especially if they keep talking about past loves...

brownsugar said:

couldn't agree with you more.

another way of looking at this is if the person who is settling has low self esteem....because if you know how much you are worth, and how important you are, you wouldn't just settle for the first person who tries to "holla" at you, you would keep going on with your life until you find the person that you are truly, and deeply connecting with.

it's almost like when you are at the mall and you see an outfit that you feel is deep down just mediocre, but you feel like you won't find the right outfit that you know you will connect with and will bring out all of your beautiful features of yourself and instead you buy the mediocre outfit because its the first outfit you saw, and you don't believe that you will find the right outfit that will fit you.
[Edited 10/10/06 17:12pm]

missfee said:

Not everyone talks about past loves some could show it in other ways meaning by their actions but the possibility that my mate settled could be the furthest thing from their mind besides and I think people in general see what they want to see and ignore the things they don’t even if the clues are there jumping out at every turn.

A friend of mine confided in me one day that she thinks she hit the jackpot finding her husband, and I feel exactly the same way with mine.

I don't think I would stay with someone for the sake of not being single.

missfee said:

Yes ... a friend of mine married a guy as her second choice when her first choice wouldn't marry her. Boy did she reap the consequences of those actions!

ZombieKitten said:

exactly why I'm still single at 30 ...haven't hit the "jackpot" yet

ZombieKitten said:

I know a woman ( 2 actually ) who for yrs swore they had hit "the jackpot" ...only to find out about the affairs later

it's kinda sad to see the lessons they are learning with it all