Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel : You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

omg

wow

Actually I heard a different condom rain joke which went like this:

A man and woman are frantically having hot and heavy sex in the bedroom when a voice calls out, "Honey I'm Home."

The woman freaks out. "Oh my God, my husband's home early! He wasn't supposed to be home so soon!"

The man, already nervous about the situation, asks, "What do we do now?"

The woman, hearing footsteps coming towards the bedroom, shrieks at her lover and tells him, "You got to get out of here now! Quick! Go out through the window!"

The man says, "But what about my clothes?"

The woman says, "There's no time! Get out now!"

The man hurriedly rushes out through the window butt naked except for the condom he was wearing, and he is freaking out because he's afraid people on the street will see him naked. He tries desperately to find someplace to hide but can't find anyplace. However, he sees a large group of joggers running down the street, and he thinks, "Hey, I'll just run over there and try to blend in so other people won't notice me."

He runs over to the group of joggers and nestles himself between a few of the taller runners so that he looks inconspicuous. He runs with the other joggers for a few minutes before one of them notices that he is naked. One of the joggers makes a comment to him, "Do you always like to jog in the nude?"

The man, taken aback by his question, makes up an answer on the spot. "Uh..., yeah, I like to feel the sun bathing my whole body as I run free."

The jogger asks, "So, why are you wearing a condom then?"

The man says, "Well, it might rain."

Two old ladies sat in the local park..

All of a sudden a Nude male streaker runs by...

One old lady died of a stroke...

The other old lady couldnt reach...

funkpill said:

thanks for the morning chuckle

all the best old lady names start with m don't they?

funny