The Captain is taking this issue to the next level!

As you all are painfully aware by now, I am a highly sexed individual. But damn it, I've got to take a stand on the whole gay marriage issue and this is where I can hurt the power-brokers the most. I am remaining celibate until the jackasses who run things allow consenting adults regardless of gender to marry and have the same partner rights as straight folks.

Regardless of what Admiral has told you, I am not a participant in the gay venue as it were but I respect the hell out those of you around these parts that are. And to show my support for the cause I thought about the effect that my total abstinence would have on the economy.

Consider these effects of a Captain Sex Freeze-Out

1) The condom industry---Massive loss in sales (especially in extra large sizes)

2) The porn industry--That's right, no sex with myself either. This is going to hurt but entire adult video store chains will falter, causing the adult entertainment industry to crumble.

3) Vaseline and lotion sales---See number 2.

4) The hooker industry--In some places, this makes up 40-50 % of the local economy (according to a stat I just made up). Not anymore, bastards! These lovely ladies will not subject to my company for the immediate future.

This is all going to be EXTREMELY PAINFUL for the Captain. But, damn it my gay brothers and sisters, I am doing this for you. Say a prayer for me, wish me luck, as I am about to experience what I can only politely call "Bleeding hell on Earth".

So, powers that be, pass the laws! Let gays and lesbians marry! Until this is done, the Captain is keeping his seeds to himself!

(Note: The Captain maintains the right to talk about pressing issues such as boobies and his own impressive package and anecdotes from prior sexual experiences could still be discussed as it pertains to thread topics.)
[Edited 7/30/06 21:32pm]

on behalf of all The Gays, i'm very pleased to see you putting your dry spell to work!

Anx said:

Self-imposed dry spell.

CaptainChaos said:

well, you know. i'm just saying the sentiment is the most important part.

Anx said:

It's the least I could do for the cause. Actually it's the only thing I can do. I have nothing else to offer.

CaptainChaos said:

got any alcohol? i could use that to further my own gay marriage cause.

Anx said:

I'm going to need lots of alcohol to get through this that's for sure.

Is it wrong that I'm already feeling cramps? Damn, it's only been 10 minutes.

2 hours and counting. I have some cold sweat going but the cramps have subsided. Wooziness is sporadic.

I didn't think you loved us that much!

Awwwww!


M

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I love my gay Org homies!

Okay, I'm struggling over here. How long has it been? 12 days?

12 hours...hmmmm...okay, did they pass anything yet in Congress?

CaptainChaos said:

this is no "Sacrifice of Victor"
[Edited 7/24/06 18:06pm]

I'm just kidding...I can take the pain...I've actually done useful things with my time off sex. I think I read a book. I forgot what it was but I'm pretty sure it was a book. It had pictures in it.

The Captain is resolved. No gay marriage equals no Cappy sex! You government bastards hear that!

CaptainChaos said:

Fucking Hilarious!

So seriously, what do people do when they're not having sex? This is just too much spare time to think of how one-dimensional I am. Actually, with my abstaining from sex, I now have no dimensions. Is that possible?
[Edited 7/24/06 19:09pm]

This is about the Admiral, isn't it?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2the9s said:

He's been abstaining for years. If that bastard can do it, I can too.

CaptainChaos said:

are you regular? you could experiment with fiber until you are. that'll pass time, among other things.

Captain. You are soooo Charlize Theron, Stuart Townsend.



M

You can always come to the Netherlands to do the wild thing.
I won't tell

The longest three days of my life.

Say, how long does it take Congress to pass bills anyway?

good luck with that ole Cap boy

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

I would do either one of them right now.

CaptainChaos said:

I think I feel the same way.


M

Aren't Charlize Thereupon and Scarlett her brother's hot Johannsen the same person or some shit? Which one was Aeon Flux?