Byron said:

stop taking yourself so seriously

I really think it is a stupid, empty, shallow and disapointing question.

Yet, I will do my best to respond.

I would simply not ignore my spouse so that this would happen and they become unhealthly plump.

applekisses said:

Sometimes the truth hurt. But lies are far worse.

And it's far better to tell the truth in any relationship.

TonyVanDam said:

Agreed that it's always better to be honest, but I'd lose much respect for someone who would fall out of love with a partner over something as silly as appearances.

ccollin88 said:

of course. that's part of loving someone totally

CarrieMpls said:

You'll be surprise how many women would leave their husbands/boyfriends because of appearances (hair loss, weight gain, low sex drive, etc).

No surprise for men to leave their wives/girlfriends for the same reasons (plus old age).

TonyVanDam said:

Maybe I'd be surprised, but it wouldn't change my opinion on the matter. Man or woman, it's just plain sad.

While I would be very surprised in this case, of course I would. I honestly don't believe that anybody would give up on true love because the person's appearance changed. If you feel that way about your partner, let 'em go and try to find somebody who you truly care about.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Agreed. I would say anyone who honestly feels that way hasn't truly experienced love.

I think people use that as an excuse to leave a relationship. They probably were no longer happy anyway.

Yes, I would stay.


M

CarrieMpls said:

You can still care about someone deeply and love them and not be physically attracted to them if their appearance changes.

JustErin said:

Nope.

True love generates sexual attraction. . . doesn't matter what they look like. . .

And YES, I'm imposing my experience onto that of everyone else as though my way is the only way. Just in case you think I didn't notice.

yeah i would stay. i've never been the one to care about physical appearances that much anyways. when you care about someone that crap goes out the window. but if they were extremely overweight it would bother me because of health reasons. but all in all i love bellies too

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Once again, agreed.

CarrieMpls said:

ditto

HereToRockYourWorld said:

It sure as hell does... ...and it extremely intensifies an already existing sexual attraction.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

That's fine. That's "true love" as you see it, and I have my definition.

Physical attraction plays a huge part in a relationship no matter how hard people try to say it doesn't. Without it, you just have a friendship or a companionship, not a romantic relationship.

JustErin said:

I certainly think we have things we are attracted to and things we are not. I go gaga over men I think are cute, of course. But I think what we're talking about here is 'sexual' attraction vs. 'physical' attraction. To me, they are not one and the same. I can totally be sexually attracted to someone who may never have caught my eye physically. But as you get to know someone, the other traits about them attract you to a point where the physical can very much become attractive to you, even if it wasn't at first. And here we're also talking about someon with whom you are already in a relationship with. And when you're truly deeply in love with someone, I just can't imagine losing that sexual attraction, regrdless of some extra pounds, a disfiguring accident, losing their hair, what have you. Sure, long term relationships are going to have ups and downs, that's to be expected. But I just can't imagine falling out of love and therefore losing my sexual attraction with someone over appearance. It just doesn't click with me.

Byron said:

Amen, brother.

CarrieMpls said:

Yes, I see what you are saying. I can understand how that can happen. For me, physical attraction and sexual attraction are the same.

My x-bf was in a serious motorcycle accident and royally messed himself up and I stayed with him because, even tho he was a total mess, I was still physically attracted to him (we eventually grew apart because other reasons).

But had I no longer felt physically attracted to him I would have ended the romantic side of things and stayed close friends. My love for him would not end. I just do not wish to be with someone that I am not attracted to. To do that would be settling, imo.

In fact, even though we are no longer together, we are still very, very close and care deeply for each other and really still do love each other. Is it more acceptable that other things besides a physical attraction ended our romance? Does it mean that I never experienced love simply because it ended? I don't sure as hell don't think so.

Love doesn't always conquer all, folks and to think it does, in my honest opinion is just being naive.

But that's just how I see things.

JustErin said:

THIS is exactly why I'm a huge fan of pre-nups agreements!

1. Love doesn't always conquer all.

AND

2. Love isn't unconditional.

TonyVanDam said:

I agree love doesn't conquer all, but as for it being unconditional, well, shouldn't it be sometimes? I think you can love someone and not want to be with them. If it just doesn't work as a relationship, they treat you poorly, whatever. I have whole heartedly and unconditionally loved people who weren't good for me. I couldn't be in a relationship with them and had to end it, but the love just doesn't go away.

I am dating a circle right now and I have no idea what I would do if it turned into a triange or a square.

A hexagon I could handle, though. Those are hot.

nevermind
[Edited 7/23/06 14:58pm]

If he was my soul mate, why would I worry about the physical?

RipHer2Shreds said:

well for one it would keep them alive longer.

MickG said:

If we're talking obese, of course it would living longer. Stop picking my words apart and don't respond to my posts any more. I will file a police report.

CarrieMpls said:

Love is unconditional until:

A. She tells me she not in love with me anymore.
B. She turns rogue on me.
C. She cheats on me with another man, woman, OR both.
D. She develops low self-esteem and just lets herself go.

RipHer2Shreds said:

Depends on how out of shape they got & for what reason - if they developed an "I don't give a fuck" attitude about their appearance & health that would bother me. My sexual attraction to them would shrink, which means we wouldn't be having much sex (if any) & that in itself is a problem.

That said I would probably never hook up w/ someone who wasn't somewhat body conscious anyway. As much bullshit as I'm going through to get in shape it would be hard to be around someone who was going to town all the time But if it were b/c of an accident or something then that's not of their own doing, it's not an attitude change - it's just life. I would still love them & I would hope that I could adjust instead of just bone out - THAT would be some cold shit...


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[Edited 7/23/06 16:59pm]