its a sticky situation....before I got married (when dinosaurs ruled the earth), I had a "casual" partner....and it was basically a booty call/if we're in the same place at the same time kinda thing....in the beginning, she was down because we knew how to work each other well....and neither of us was looking for a commitment....later, it became clear (at least to me) that meeting Moms and Pops wasn't in the cards, but fun was still being had....when the feelings she had were expressed, thats when it stopped being fun....and the weirdness started....

...so it'll work for a hot sec, but there's too many instances where all the wrong turns can come in succession....

i don't think i could look myself in the mirror if i had a "casual" sex partner.

ZombieKitten said:

once you have enough "regulars" it doesn't really matter anymore, because no matter what time it is you know at least one of them fuckers is gonna be calling...

I'm not doubting it can be done, I'm just trying to get my little brain on why one would do it. There are a reason my male friends are friends, and I don't try to confuse that sort of thing with trying to fuck them when I feel horny. There are plenty of random strangers for that sort of thing if you're looking to sew your oats a bit.

CortestheKiller said:

Sex with random strangers and one night stands are totally gross, in my opinion.

No offense to anyone that does it, and I actually understand why some people do it.

But I just could never have sex with someone that I did not know really well.

JustErin said:

Erin..are you saying you don't identify with the "zipless fuck" as described by Erica Jong in fear of flying?

purplerein said:

You'll have to fill me in with what that means.

purplerein said:

The zipless fuck is a fantasy, though. And utterly, utterly rare,

CarrieMpls said:

I never got the zipless fuck it creeped me out no end! Maybe in the 70s that kind of thing could work, but not any more. Erica Jong slept with people she knew, like Martha Stewart's husband

ZombieKitten said:

wtf is the zipless fuck?

JustErin said:

A zipless fuck is defined as sex without emotional involvement or commitment, particularly between strangers. The phrase was coined by author Erica Jong in her popular 1973 novel Fear of Flying.

I sometimes go for the zipless wank.

Sweeny79 said:

That's also what guys refer to as a "whore" or "slut"

bkw said:

jerseykrs said:

I think it goes both ways, both sexes...


The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no power game . The man is not "taking" and the woman is not "giving." No one is attempting to cuckold a husband or humiliate a wife . No one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of anyone. The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. And it is rarer than the unicorn. And I have never had one.

— Erica Mann Jong, Fear of Flying (1973)

Sweeny79 said:

so how does she know then

Sweeny79 said:

Ok, in that case, to answer Purplerein's question; I can identify with sex with no commitment or real emotional involvement, but I can not identify with having these kinds of relationships with strangers.