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Thread started 06/26/06 9:26am

butterfli25

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On the chemical Composition of Hell- JOKE

I got this email this morning and I loved it and wanted to share.

The following was a bonus question on a chemistry midterm at the University of Washington. One student's answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

The Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that, in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
butterfly
We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.
Maya Angelou
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Reply #1 posted 06/26/06 10:11am

TMPletz

lol Great! thumbs up!
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Reply #2 posted 06/26/06 11:39am

yamomma

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Now that's someone you want as a college roomate! Love it!
© 2015 Yamomma®
All Rights Reserved.
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Reply #3 posted 06/26/06 1:12pm

emm

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nice touch with the summary at the end mr.green
doveShe couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay dove
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Reply #4 posted 06/26/06 5:36pm

twister6

Is this theory compatible with Hawking's black hole information paradox? They won't be too happy to know that the temperature of Hell threw off their approximations of souls by a few orders of magnitudes.

rose
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