I have never been to one before. Am I expected to bring something or to do something? Is it just an observance, a way to honor the person before the funeral? My dad's side of the family is Catholic. Anything I should be aware of in that regard?

may well be slightly different over in the US, but I am Catholic, so cant be that different. Just show up, mingle, dont be too happy! Ususally just drinks and some food, and talking. Maybe some speeches. Nothing to be nervous about. As for the catholic thing in general, no I dont think theres anything. You shouldnt be expected to do anything like pray, or I dunno, anything you wont know how to do!

Hope everything goes ok

I don't know, I don't go to them. I prefer to grieve privately. I will go to funeral services, but that's the extent of it. I hate crying in public and I just get too emotional not to (although I don't feel that way about anyone else, as I understand the need, I just don't feel comfortable...).

But take care, you.

IMHO i always view them as a celebration of the life so i try and be up beat but respectful and not too openly sad.....try and remember the good and celebrate the life.

Wakes are usually more personal than funeral services. I would just wear something conservative and tell the other friends/family members of the deceased what the person meant to you and listen to them tell you what they meant to them. Work the room so that you dont get bored. Intoduce yourself to people.

people have already said what I was gonna...so I'll just say

sweatheart...

when my sister in law died (she was 30) we prepared her, as in washing her, dressing her, did her nails and hair...
It was a traditional thing in my husbands family so i was shocked when they said i needed to take part in it..

it was a very emotional thing to do, but when she was brought to her home for the wake, i was so happy (not the right expression but i hope you understand what i mean) that i had a part of doing it...

i mean...the whole family came and sat there...watching her and telling stories abt her...laughing a lot..

I am not sure if catholics are acting like we did but i'll tell you this...it was so helpful in the healing proces..

both of my parents died at a young age and it took me years to heal from it,and i think that if i was able, at the time to handle their death like i could with my sister in law...it would have made it so much easier.

to make a long story short...there are no ways to make it easy...just follow your and be with her and her baby, talk to her, she's there, watching all of you.
And it will make her transition more easy..

i love you.

Petra
xxx
[Edited 3/20/06 7:55am]

As a catholic Italian American, wakes are more personal than funerals. Show your respects to the family and maybe introduce yourself to people you don't know. Share any good memories you have and say a prayer at the casket for the deceased.

I assume this subject is too personal for some ppl...


Be strong Richard

jerseykrs said:

Ditto...

And all Latins usually follow similar traditions in these instances...after the funeral you will go to someone's house or a restaurant and sit and talk and eat. People usually talk quietly about the person's life...how they and other family members will cope with their loss and how life will continue on.

You'll be ok, honey. It's actually a good healing process. If you need me, just call.

If it is in a church, expect a whole lot of praying and the rosary being said about a million times. Basically, it is a time where you can have private time with the body.

Back in the old days, it was when the family would have the body in the house and they would wait all night to see if the person was just sleep and "wake" up. I've had relatives down south have a sleep over with the body. Needless to say, I have refused to visit their homes.

ShySlantedEye1 said:[quote]If it is in a church, expect a whole lot of praying and the rosary being said about a million times. Basically, it is a time where you can have private time with the body.

Back in the old days, it was when the family would have the body in the house and they would wait all night to see if the person was just sleep and "wake" up. I've had relatives down south have a sleep over with the body. Needless to say, I have refused to visit their homes. [/quot]

back in the old days?

we had her in her house....


[Edited 3/20/06 8:24am]
[Edited 3/20/06 8:25am]

It is rare to do that now in the U. S. nowadays. When I lived in Germany, my neighbor passed away and they had the funeral the next day in the building. I was freaked out. They called our funerals "Hollywood Affairs" because we would embalm the person and wait so that all of the family members could be there. The family member of my neighbor said it was not a big thing to them over there. AGMC, as much as I love my sisters, there was no way I would stay in the house with their remains.

You walk in, sign your name in the guest book, kneel down in front of the coffin, say a prayer, shake everyone's hand that is in the "line" and tell them you are sorry. I prefer not to mingle, if I see someone I know I talk to them for a few mins and I leave.

Thanks guys for the insight. I don't know what to expect and wanted some pointers. I'm comfortable with my family so that really won't be an issue but I don't observe Catholic beliefs so it's all foreign to me. Well, a lot of it anyway.

Fascinating about having the body in the house. I used to work at a mortuary so I'm not sure that I would be too bothered and Petra, I feel that you took part in something very special. You should be honored that the family sought to include you in something so intimate

Nothing to worry about really. Wakes are pretty simple, just show up and pay your respects to the family, and kneel in front of the casket for a bit to say a small prayer or just to contemplate for a moment. Dress usually leans towards formal, and something neutral and dark.

I'm not a big fan of kneeling in front of a casket when there's a line of people behind me, since that's really a personal moment - especially when it's someone close to you. But it is nice to see so many people come together for someone who died. Sometimes wakes and funerals are the one time where family members who haven't talked in years, finally put their differences aside and start speaking again.

maybe i was too open abt this...

i will be with you in thought...

AndGodCreatedMe said:

not at all

supa a lot of people i know in very tragic cases like this say it helps that you get to just spend the time there without the ceremony of the funeral. like petra said it is just a process in helping people come to terms with your loss

and hugs to you richard

AndGodCreatedMe said:

No honey, I think it's wonderful that you shared

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

yes, i think so too sweet P

and Supa: and remember that i am proud of you once more!

dawntreader said:

thank you treader

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

and a kiss too please!

I was a young teenager when i went to my first wake and nobody told me that the body would be on display. it freaked me out. just be warned that the dead body will be on display and it's really frightening to see someone who you know and love dead.

dawntreader said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

thanks!

stay strong!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

sorry double post cuz the org keeps copping out.

another chance for a though...
[Edited 3/20/06 12:29pm]

dawntreader said:

awwwww

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

and a kiss too please!