Chicago Sun-Times, March 17, 2006
BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter

CHICAGO -- Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows


Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
[Edited 3/18/06 16:23pm]

damn

oh.my.LAWD.

Im sorry but what the hell was he on? Damn.

dick--i mean, duck!!!!

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

When you're in trouble with the law and about to possibly go to jail, isn't that about the last thing you'd want to be without?

He should have thrown it at me, I could use that mutha

GangstaFam said:

all those years being someones bitch

what a dick !

As sad and disgusting as it is, I really wanna see a dramatic reenactment of this.

I just wanna see a penis flying through the air like that.

CarrieMpls said:

Well, that's some attitude.

CarrieMpls said:

Really?

I dont think you would guess what it is until a closer inspection is carried out.

he must have some mental health issues going on.

I wouldn't really wanna see that...

He moyled himself! Awesome.

CalhounSq said:

CarrieMpls said:

Jet Li could be Jakub, the lone warrior fighting for his honor after his beautiful, but evil, girlfriend (Oscar winner Angelina Jolie) mercilessly double crosses him. What should we do about the penis? Stunt talent or go CGI?

This could work, girl!

Now we need a title.

Lammastide said:

Penis in the Wind?


Gone With the Penis?


Stop! Or I'll Throw My Penis at You!

CarrieMpls said:

"Detachable Penis"? There was actually a song called that that was covered by several different groups. :evilol:

I can't understand why anybody would do that. Those things are valuable.

JasmineFire said:

you really think so?

i thought this was just another day in chicago?

and bobbit is dethroned!!

SynthiaRose said:

i think the value varies from person to person.

muirdo said:

Well more than that, just think of all those years of solitude with absolutely NO fun to be had.

psychodelicide said:

great song.

What?

No pictures?

GangstaFam said:

I remember a friend of mine telling me when she was at a store shopping, she heard the song playing on the intercom system. I would have been laughing hysterically.

SynthiaRose said:

That has got to be some powerful crack to make a guy cut it off.

Just shows u gotta say know to drugs.