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PrintableCarrieMpls said: Lammastide said: Jet Li could be Jakub, the lone warrior fighting for his honor after his beautiful, but evil, girlfriend (Oscar winner Angelina Jolie) mercilessly double crosses him. What should we do about the penis? Stunt talent or go CGI? This could work, girl! Now we need a title.  
Penis in the Wind? Gone With the Penis? Stop! Or I'll Throw My Penis at You! House of the Flying Penises The Penis(t) (We'd need Adrien Brody for this one) Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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My groin hurt just READING that story! By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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 I wish I coulda been there to see this  looking for you in the woods tonight Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke) | |
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One time a woman cut off her vagina and threw it at me. | |
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Usually about once a year, there's an excuse for me to post King Missile's
"Detachable Penis" lyrics. This is one such occasion: I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again This happens all the time It's detachable This comes in handy a lot of the time I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble Or I can rent it out when I don't need it But now and then I go to a party Get drunk And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it First I looked around my apartment And I couldn't find it So I called up the place where the party was They hadn't seen it either I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party But they were no help either I was starting to get desperate I really don't like being without my penis for too long It makes me feel like less of a man And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak After a few hours of searching the house And calling everyone I could think of I was starting to get very depressed So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven Some guy was selling it I had to buy it off him He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17 I took it home Washed it off And put it back on I was happy again Complete People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached But I don't know Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass I like having a detachable penis edit to say that I just now noticed that this song was already mentioned on this thread.  [Edited 3/18/06 12:24pm] "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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CalhounSq said: He should have thrown it at me, I could use that mutha
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gotta love those Polish nut cases! | |
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IrresistibleB1tch said: gotta love those Polish nut cases!
Oh, gawd. I know someone who has a new f**kee that is Polish - someone warn him quick! I wonder: did it look like a flying Oscar Meyer? "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, that is what I'd truly like to be. And if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner Everyone would be in love with me." Anyone remember that? "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Dalai Lama | |
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cubic61052 said: IrresistibleB1tch said: gotta love those Polish nut cases!
Oh, gawd. I know someone who has a new f**kee that is Polish - someone warn him quick! I wonder: did it look like a flying Oscar Meyer? "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, that is what I'd truly like to be. And if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner Everyone would be in love with me." Anyone remember that? gives a whole new meaning to the term "polish sausage", doesn't it?! | |
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cubic61052 said: IrresistibleB1tch said: gotta love those Polish nut cases!
Oh, gawd. I know someone who has a new f**kee that is Polish - someone warn him quick! I wonder: did it look like a flying Oscar Meyer? "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, that is what I'd truly like to be. And if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner Everyone would be in love with me." Anyone remember that? my bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R my bologna has a second name, it's M-E-Y-E-R Oscar Meyer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A i'll refrain from correcting your oscar meyer lyrics above.  | |
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Forget that old dance and throw that Dick Let's dance (repeat x5) It's a brand new dance and it's comin' your way It was started in Miami by the Ghetto DJs See, some call it nasty, but that's not true It's just an oldie dance that you can do 'cuz you need to sex your body, make your partner come alive If you can't do that, don't even try So, get yourself together and learn it quick Just get on the floor and throw that Dick Let's dance (repeat x5) Throw that Dick (repeat x4) When I went to Miami, couldn't believe my eyes This female was stoned wanted me to try If you don't know how to do it, here's what you must do Just listen up close I'll explain to you Just jump in the air And when you land you'll mind like you just don't care It's all in the hips, so go berserk And let that Dick do the work So while it's workin' you'd better start strokin' To show your partner that you ain't jokin' 'cuz this ain't a dance from mother goose Better freak your body and turn it loose 'cuz when you're on the floor you don't give a shit All you want to do is throw that Dick Throw that Dick  | |
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fantasyislander said: cubic61052 said: Oh, gawd. I know someone who has a new f**kee that is Polish - someone warn him quick! I wonder: did it look like a flying Oscar Meyer? "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, that is what I'd truly like to be. And if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner Everyone would be in love with me." Anyone remember that? my bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R my bologna has a second name, it's M-E-Y-E-R Oscar Meyer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A i'll refrain from correcting your oscar meyer lyrics above. What's wrong about them? Lawd, lawd...I don't want them wrong  "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Dalai Lama | |
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cubic61052 said: fantasyislander said: my bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R my bologna has a second name, it's M-E-Y-E-R Oscar Meyer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A i'll refrain from correcting your oscar meyer lyrics above. What's wrong about them? Lawd, lawd...I don't want them wrong actually, i just remember the long "ooohhhhh . . " at the beginning, and i think they said "cuz" but that probably wasn't officially the word. or maybe i'm remembering wrong.
ooohhhh . . i wish i were an oscar meyer weiner that is what i truly want to be cuz if i were an oscar meyer weiner everyone would be in love with me! | |
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fantasyislander said: cubic61052 said: What's wrong about them? Lawd, lawd...I don't want them wrong actually, i just remember the long "ooohhhhh . . " at the beginning, and i think they said "cuz" but that probably wasn't officially the word. or maybe i'm remembering wrong.
ooohhhh . . i wish i were an oscar meyer weiner that is what i truly want to be cuz if i were an oscar meyer weiner everyone would be in love with me! Actually, it's Oscar Mayer.  | |
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TMPletz said: fantasyislander said: actually, i just remember the long "ooohhhhh . . " at the beginning, and i think they said "cuz" but that probably wasn't officially the word. or maybe i'm remembering wrong.
ooohhhh . . i wish i were an oscar meyer weiner that is what i truly want to be cuz if i were an oscar meyer weiner everyone would be in love with me! Actually, it's Oscar Mayer.  i'm so ashamed . . .  | |
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sinisterpentatonic said: ["throw that dick" was here]
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fantasyislander said: TMPletz said: Actually, it's Oscar Mayer. i'm so ashamed . . . Me, too! Someone just shoot me now and put the world out of it's misery!  "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Dalai Lama | |
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I should say here that maybe we should tread lightly on this. The guy obviously has got some major issues.
Even though this is just nutty to me, I wish him the best. AndI hope he gets the professsional help he needs. And THANK GOD his girlfriend is off somewhere in Poland. Things could have been far more tragic had she been around. Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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that is FUCKED UP! | |
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sometimes i'm really proud to be a chicagoan.
yeah. sometimes. | |
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One time I cut off someone else's weiner and threw it at some cops. | |
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Made my stomach hurt reading that..anything that has to do with penisis make me ill Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records. | |
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paisleypark4 said: Made my stomach hurt reading that..anything that has to do with penisis make me ill
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I wonder who had the job of picking it up? Who's gonna clean that after it's been on the dirty ground? That's some funny shit and disarming as hell. | |
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sinisterpentatonic said: Forget that old dance and throw that Dick Let's dance (repeat x5) It's a brand new dance and it's comin' your way It was started in Miami by the Ghetto DJs See, some call it nasty, but that's not true It's just an oldie dance that you can do 'cuz you need to sex your body, make your partner come alive If you can't do that, don't even try So, get yourself together and learn it quick Just get on the floor and throw that Dick Let's dance (repeat x5) Throw that Dick (repeat x4) When I went to Miami, couldn't believe my eyes This female was stoned wanted me to try If you don't know how to do it, here's what you must do Just listen up close I'll explain to you Just jump in the air And when you land you'll mind like you just don't care It's all in the hips, so go berserk And let that Dick do the work So while it's workin' you'd better start strokin' To show your partner that you ain't jokin' 'cuz this ain't a dance from mother goose Better freak your body and turn it loose 'cuz when you're on the floor you don't give a shit All you want to do is throw that Dick Throw that Dick Is this from the Vault?  | |
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Lammastide said: I should say here that maybe we should tread lightly on this. The guy obviously has got some major issues.
Even though this is just nutty to me, I wish him the best. AndI hope he gets the professsional help he needs. And THANK GOD his girlfriend is off somewhere in Poland. Things could have been far more tragic had she been around. True....the Polish woman I know is a phony bee-hotch nutcase.....hopefully it isn't a cultural thing! "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Dalai Lama | |
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:-O Good Lord. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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