I have been in a very healthy working relationship for fifteen years now. In that time my wife and I have watched relationships be born, bloom and die then dry up and blow away. The shocking thing is that the vast majority fall into end by one small little absurd reason.

We as humans perceive other’s interactions with us in several ways. Some are good and some not so good. Having said this I will let you know the one secret to what kills relationships fast. But first I will instruct you in the golden rule. Is it so hard to do unto others as you would want them to do to you?

The vast majority of relationship problems that lead to relationship death is a circle of spite. Upon truly entreating into a relationship, the two must become one as much as those two can. However this is seldom ever the result. Too often I have observed love die because the singular Egos of the persons involved perceive a wrong being done to them in spite. However in stead of letting it slide or forgiving such a behavior, they then in turn start doing things to spite their love. Then a spiteful tit for tat war is set off.

This leads to the quick or slow demise of the relationship. The only one you end up spitting is yourself.

Why do you do this behavior?

Spite rarely plays a part in the dissolving of relationships. Mostly, it's due to entering a relationship for the wrong reasons...insecurity, lonliness, fear, sexual attraction, physical attraction, an "escape" from other issues in life, a desire to have needs met thru another...the list is practically endless. You enter into a relationship for reasons like this, and all the reasons why they're not adequate reasons--those reasons you refuse to accept or acknowledge in the beginning--start to rear their heads and make themselves known. You can't become "one" with someone else under these circumstances. That's why true connection is far more valuable, powerful and rare than mere attraction, or worse, merely having your emotional needs met by another.

No, a lot of relationships end because the people become sick of each or bored with each other or they meet someone they like better.

I've never broken up with someone, nor been broken up with, over spite. In fact, I'd say spite has never entered into any of my relationships.

MickG said:

i agree with the statement i bolded, as far as spite is concerned, i have seen relationships destroyed by that, but not all. Some relationships haven't worked because one person was more serious than the other and therefore it just didn't work out.