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PrintableYou've shown tremendous strength by writing this out and sharing with us. There is nothing more terrifying than waiting for these results. I self exam all the time and found a lump. Mammograms confirmed some "shadows" . I was so scared in the hospital and didn't tell anyone near me ~ only a friend 3000 miles away. They removed several lumps ~ all benign thank God. They've now seen one more on recent mammograms and are advising me to wait 6 months to see whether there is any change. Not sure how I feel about waiting. It seems like that is just giving a potential problem time to grow. Like Supa said ~ your story encourages all of us to check ourselves. We know our bodies well and can judge when something isn't right well before the doctors in many cases.
It sounds like you are doing everything possible to catch these spots early. We are all saying prayers and sending positive energy and support to you and your family. Draw strength from anyone you can (children can be great nurturers) and please keep posting here so we know how you are doing.  Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. --Kahlil Gibran | |
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emm said: hell even fight it so you can go see the purple freak on the 3121 tour!!  Thanks! I needed that little laugh! | |
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MoonSongs said: They removed several lumps ~ all benign thank God. They've now seen one more on recent mammograms and are advising me to wait 6 months to see whether there is any change. Not sure how I feel about waiting. It seems like that is just giving a potential problem time to grow.
I wouldn't wait for anything. Six months could mean your life if something were wrong. Ask for an ultrasound and then ask them to aspirate it. I have two younger sisters and now they have to get mammograms too even though they are only 25 and 30. The rule of thumb is if you have a sister or mother diagnosed with breast cancer, you should start getting a mammogram 10 years before the age they were when they were diagnosed. My little sister just had her second mammogram, which was shadowy, of course. Because my mom is now vigilant about breast cancer, she bugged the doctor into letting her get an ultrasound too, just in case. The ultrasound showed a cyst. The doctor wanted to wait on it for three months to see if it goes away, and my mom said no. She then got her insurance to pay for an MRI of the breast, which my sister is doing this weekend. The ultrasound says that it is a fluid filled cyst, but when a family's been through the crap that I've been through, you just don't play around with that crap. You know, it's funny...I keep talking about my mom this and my mom that. I'm 33 years old, been married for almost 15 years and have three kids, but when I'm sick, I need my mom. | |
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dustysgirl, I could only wish for 1/4 of the strength and courage this must muster in you. I'm so glad you're constantly on top of this and you caught it early once again.
Be strong. Be ever hopeful. You are loved. ...And know that my prayers have already begun.  Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: cborgman said: as terribly sad as this is, thank god you did before it got to a point at which you would not be able to type this. and it's wonderful that through you're sharing you are promoting more self awareness for younger women to do self exams 
big props Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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emm said: dustysgirl said: It was a month before my 31st birthday, and I was laying in bed, and had my right hand across my chest, resting on my left breast. I noticed that there was an area that felt like it was thickening. I was very small (an A cup). I stupidly thought that perhaps my breasts were growing a little bit because my mother had been really small until she had my brother when she was in her 30's and after that pregnancy she stayed a DD. I thought something, not cancerous, was going on with my breasts. I didn't even say anything to anyone for like three weeks. When I mentioned it to my mom, she told me to go to the doctor right away. I did, and in the office, he said that I probably had a cyst, and not to worry about it, but ordered a mammogram anyway. They called the day after my mammogram with the terrible results. I never did self exams. thank you for sharing that... and thank goodness you were paying attention and noticed the difference. my mother didn't notice until her bra wasn't fitting normally on her left side. i think it was quite far advanced. my mother talks about cancer taking a year of her life away but in return for how deathly sick the chemotherapy made her she has enjoyed the last 23 years. there have been a couple of scares but they turned out to be fluid. i do think it is good news that it is not in the bone. surely this is some relief. you found the courage to face it not once but twice. i know that i can not begin to relate having not gone through radiation or chemotherapy but i know it is our only weapon. fight it with all you can muster fight it for everything you have been through fight it for your children fight it for your husband fight it for your future hell even fight it so you can go see the purple freak on the 3121 tour!! and if you need to vent please feel like you can orgnote me anytime 
i have a card hanging in my shower reminding me to do self exams. i need to be more diligent - i certainly am not as thorough or do them as often as i should. one in nine of us women - one in nine. add my orgnote ear to that as well. i cant say i know what you are going through, but my ear is here to hear whatever you want to say Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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My prayers go out to you and your family.
I am in school to get my mammography license and it never is easy seeing a woman's mammo and know that it will be a life altering day for her and her family. Breast cancer is beatable. You've proven that once and you can do it again. Take care of yourself and please keep us posted!  I'm firmly planted in denial |
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| Much strength and prayers for everything you are dealing with... | |
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While you feel like your life is being dragged through the blender there is a very positive take on what is happening. I don't know your case very well but it does sound like it will soon be over.
Herceptin is a great drug, you are lucky to be given the opportunity to have this - many women arn't. The chemo and Radiotherapy are a belt and braces to surgery, you are a young and otherwise healthy woman, they will hit you hard to hit the cancer hard. You, will bounce back It, will not Keep positive, and be as open as you can with your kids, you may be surprised at how their positive (or even negative) reaction to this will help you through. They will certainly thank you for it in the future. I sincerely wish you all the very best of luck with this, keep taking the herceptin  Happy is he who finds out the causes for things.Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil was such a lying bastard! | |
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My heart goes out to you and your family.
I have two friends that have been through full mastetomys and both had had reconstructive surgery. One friend has had the cancer come back so many times I lost count, but now she has been all clear for 3 years now. This could be you too
It wil be hard for your husband too. Speaking as someone who has a partner that has had cancer I know how hard it is being in the 'supportive' role. Fortunatley my other half had his 3 month check this week and had good results so we have dropped down to 6 month checks. When he got the cancer he felt just the same as you.. why him.. Maybe you and your husband could get councelling together, I know my partners cancer hospital provides great support. PM me if you want anything and try to keep positive, it is so easy to say but it really does make a difference. | |
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dustysgirl said: emm said: hell even fight it so you can go see the purple freak on the 3121 tour!! Thanks! I needed that little laugh! laughter is good... and so is music  orgnote! She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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Well, what could I say?
All the best to you and your family. | |
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You've got my prayers, Dustysgirl. Let us know how things are going for you. The Org is good therapy, so many caring people here 
Cborgman is right, prayer works miracles!! "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"-Dr Seuss
Pain is something to carry, like a radio...You should stand up for your right to feel your pain- Jim Morrison | |
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dustygirl, I know we don't know each other but my heart and thoughts go out to you.
As many have said already said, be strong, stay positive and we're all here when you need us. You're not alone by any means. I wish you the very best.
Take care. | |
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i really dont know what to say.... you will be in my prayers keep the fight alive and stay focused. you will beat this again sweetie, i promise
and we're always here if you need to talk One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111
love is a gift 
an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby.... | |
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dustysgirl said: You know, it's funny...I keep talking about my mom this and my mom that. I'm 33 years old, been married for almost 15 years and have three kids, but when I'm sick, I need my mom.
I think you'll find this is common no matter how old you get. When I was 31 I had my apendix removed and before I had surgery I crawled into bed with my mom....just for the comfort 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: dustysgirl said: You know, it's funny...I keep talking about my mom this and my mom that. I'm 33 years old, been married for almost 15 years and have three kids, but when I'm sick, I need my mom.
I think you'll find this is common no matter how old you get. When I was 31 I had my apendix removed and before I had surgery I crawled into bed with my mom....just for the comfort My mom lives in Virginia. I live in Utah. I use to be okay with that. It didn't do any good to miss her because that's the way it was. Now, I miss her more and more every day. You never stop needed your mom. I'm firmly planted in denial |
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Nothinbutjoy said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: I think you'll find this is common no matter how old you get. When I was 31 I had my apendix removed and before I had surgery I crawled into bed with my mom....just for the comfort My mom lives in Virginia. I live in Utah. I use to be okay with that. It didn't do any good to miss her because that's the way it was. Now, I miss her more and more every day. You never stop needed your mom. It seems the older you get the more you need them. Maybe not financially but emotionally and support wise, absolutely! Joy! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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This situation must be terrible. It remembers me the fact that so many things I am nagging about are so unimportant. We shoud all cherish what is important and full of love. I wish you a fast recovery and lots of strength.  | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Nothinbutjoy said: My mom lives in Virginia. I live in Utah. I use to be okay with that. It didn't do any good to miss her because that's the way it was. Now, I miss her more and more every day. You never stop needed your mom. It seems the older you get the more you need them. Maybe not financially but emotionally and support wise, absolutely! Joy! Supa!! I actually get teary reading that.I'm firmly planted in denial |
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You are very brave. Look after yourself and be strong | |
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There are a lot of people here on the org that will really be there for you. Stay strong. I will pray for you. Take it day by day.
Keep posting and let us know your progress. xxooxx
M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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My prayers are definitely with you and your family. I have had two people in my family with cancer and it is a reminder to me to look after myself. Take care and keep us posted whenever you need to let it out.
Shake....shake, shake, shake. | |
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dustysgirl said: March 10 update: I went to the radiation oncologist this morning. He was really helpful. I like him better than my regular oncologist. He let me see my reports and actually pulled up the scans on the computer so I could see what they are looking at. They are looking at my T11 vertabrae, which looks like it has a bubble growing off of it. This is different than normal metastatic disease because it is not actually in my bone, but next to it. And it is soft tissue, definitely not bone. It is pressing against some nerves in my spinal cord, causing various points on my feet to feel like pins and needles. He said that he is sure that the radiation will shrink it, giving me relief in my feet. I don't have any pain from it because it is so small and not in the bone. I have to see my regular oncologist on March 27, so I won't know if I have to be on chemo again for sure until then. I don't mind if I do, but I really don't want to lose my hair again. That made me feel like such an ugly freak.
I want to thank every person on here who has sent me well wishes and prayers. Sometimes strangers can be so kind. Thank you all so very much. It really makes me feel good to read all of your kind words. It's either the fact that I've been through this before, or prayer works, because I really do feel brave about this, and not so bad. I'm sure that I can get through it. One thing I plan on telling my husband later is this: I am sorry for all of this. I know that I can't control it, but I see that it is hurting him and I never want to be the cause of any pain for him. I just hate that my stupid health problems can cause my loved ones pain too. thank you for the update - don't you love when doctors actually treat you like a human being??
and not sure if you know but predominant who posted earlier is a smartypants scientist guy so if he says the drug is good then you know it's good
if it was your husband who was going through this instead of you - you would be hurting, right? so it has to be ok for him to hurt for you. it is an expression of love and caring to hurt when those around us hurt. just try to talk through all those fears together instead of apart. She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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dustysgirl said: March 10 update: I went to the radiation oncologist this morning. He was really helpful. I like him better than my regular oncologist. He let me see my reports and actually pulled up the scans on the computer so I could see what they are looking at. They are looking at my T11 vertabrae, which looks like it has a bubble growing off of it. This is different than normal metastatic disease because it is not actually in my bone, but next to it. And it is soft tissue, definitely not bone. It is pressing against some nerves in my spinal cord, causing various points on my feet to feel like pins and needles. He said that he is sure that the radiation will shrink it, giving me relief in my feet. I don't have any pain from it because it is so small and not in the bone. I have to see my regular oncologist on March 27, so I won't know if I have to be on chemo again for sure until then. I don't mind if I do, but I really don't want to lose my hair again. That made me feel like such an ugly freak. I want to thank every person on here who has sent me well wishes and prayers. Sometimes strangers can be so kind. Thank you all so very much. It really makes me feel good to read all of your kind words. It's either the fact that I've been through this before, or prayer works, because I really do feel brave about this, and not so bad. I'm sure that I can get through it. One thing I plan on telling my husband later is this: I am sorry for all of this. I know that I can't control it, but I see that it is hurting him and I never want to be the cause of any pain for him. I just hate that my stupid health problems can cause my loved ones pain too. [Edited 3/10/06 10:20am] i know it's hard to imagine, but i think many of us would find it more beautiful. nothing insprires me more or is more beautiful than someone overcoming hardships. you are a testament to beauty. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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My mom was diagnosed 8 years ago and was given weeks to live. The only thing that has kept her alive is her will to live and keeping a positive attitude. The chemo, the meds, the operations and everything else has been emotionally draining on me and my sister but the reality is we are both glad she is still alive.
Keep your head up and do not be sorry for anything, your family should be just as thankful that you're still alive and will continue to be. They really have come along way in research and treatment so hopefully you will continue to live a long and happy life but appreciate everyday. These words aren't enough as I only have my view from one having a family member going through similiar circumstances. | |
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Hon...don't be sorry for being sick. You can't help that. Do whatever it is that you need to do to heal yourself...you can do this. | |
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Thanks for keeping us posted.
I'm glad you like one of your providers. It makes treatment a little easier. Keep your head up. Your family is beside you. Don't spend your energy being sorry that you are ill because you can't control that. Spend your energy on getting better and giving them your love! Take care dustysgirl! I'm firmly planted in denial |
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