Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used Tide all
through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now
that I am in my fifties, I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white
blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about
how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One
thing led to another, and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my
white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but
it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide
with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the
stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who
came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative
and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered
a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a
murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

dont get it.

LOLOLOL

Tide said:

lol!! good one funky

true story
my aunt won a car and a years worth of gas
(and a bunch of tide) in the 1950's
for writing a story about how it got all of her babies nappys nice and white

funkpill said:

specifically, outdoor fresh tide with bleach.

sinisterpentatonic said:

So clean even Luminol doesn't work on it.

minneapolisgenius said:

Luminol! Makes me wanna tune into Court TV for some...

seriously though. who keeps the murder clothes around after the job's done? please. and btw, fire erases so much more than Tide.

XxAxX said:

Care to share?

XxAxX said:

Well, sometimes it does anyway.

RipHer2Shreds said:

Yet another one of my favorite shows.