Can someone give me a hug? I need it. I usually get along pretty well with my students, but now there are three boys in one class acting pretty nasty. They can't be controlled: sad family-situation, constant craving for attention, harassing little girls, making fire in school...

So far, they thought I was the teacher they could get along with, that listened to them etc. But this last week, something has changed and the situation has gotten out of control. Today, two of them were almost physically threatening me and one teacher came out of the class next to the one I was teaching at to tell me I couldn't keep them quiet and was totally inadequate as a teacher . She told me that in front of those students, which was another great triumph for them.

I've talked with the headmaster and she told me she would talk with one of the students. She did what she promised, for the zillionth time, but it didn't help.

I feel so frustrated.

AWWWwwww

.....you get TWO.....

MarieLouise said:

The headmaster should speak with that other teacher too!! How are you supposed to do your job with that other teacher coming in and undermining you like that in front of them. ugh! good luck.

MarieLouise said:

You don't deserve that and colleagues that let you down make it worse sweetie

that "person" needs to be slapped! that was totally unprofessional and the headmaster should do something about her ass!

I am sorry this is happening to you, just remember who you are and how great a teacher you are. Sometimes all cannot be reached or helped, but just know that there are children in your class who think the world of you, they may not express it but they do.

This may be way too late, I don't know, but is there a way to reaffirm the good they do? Maybe they are challenging you because they have no positive reinforcement, therefore, they are doing the same to you because they think you will eventually find them unlovable also.

Perhaps there is a way to sit with each of them and let them know that their behavior, as bad as it is, should not define who they are, and though they might have consequences for what they have already done, it doesn't mean they can't change for the better.

to you in the mean time.

Shorty said:

I tried to speak with this lady after the last lesson but she was gone. The problem is that she's teaching to 11 and 12-year old students, which is a huge difference with teaching to 16/17-year olds. If you try the 'shut up and be quiet'-technique, they won't ever take it.

It was the introducing lesson of a group-work. They had to read the task on the net (webquest) and decide who was going to do what. There are four topics, and I told them I didn't want every group to do the same. As the 'difficult boys' came in too late (they have sports before and therefor always come in too late, much later than reasonable) I told them they could not have the topic they wanted and gave it to the group that had been working like they should. When I said that two of the boys stood up (them being three heads bigger than me) and started saying 'we want this topic, what are you going to do against it?'. As I really felt threatened (first time in months) I tried to ignore, but there was way too much arguing going on. It was hell. At that moment this other teacher entered the room.

I felt so ashamed. But I agree she should have waited until the students had left the computer-room. Now it was just plain horrible.

I have prepared a great lesson for thursday, a real open-minded and creative one, because that day is national poetry-day. I have worked four hours preparing it, and right now I'm just so sure it will be horrible.

The headmaster told me she thought one of these boys was in love with me and craving for attention. (he has sent me text-messages during the holidays, telling me he missed me, and was pretty mad because I didn't respond to them )

If this is true, it must be the most horrible seduction ever. I really feel afraid now.

Thanks everyone for your kind hugs. I really need them. Still trembling.

MarieLouise said:

I didn't know the boys were that old. ML, you are in a pretty scary position. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

I`m sorry to hear that.

I don`t know if i can come with any good advices, but i`ve known
many kids like that when i was younger. In those cases, the whole class had a bad enviroment, they didn`t like each other for the silliest reasons, and that affected all, and their relationship with the teacher. I don`t know how well your students know each other, but maybe you could arrange school excursions as part of the learning, spend some time outside of the classroom. Perhaps you could try make the class work together in groups, and place the boys on different groups, so they`re not together all the time, but most importantly, let them know that they can talk to you, that you`re there for them.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I used to have a watch that had that on it.

bluesbaby said:

All things you mentioned have already been tried by me (and other teachers). In the beginning, they told me I was the only teaching giving them positive feedback, listening to their problems etc. As the headmaster really appreciated I had a grip on them, I was unconsciously promoted as the class' therapist.

This is where I have gone the wrong way. They didn't see me as their 9-years older teacher, but as the friend that was helping them. But they always went further and further, leaving no space for the other students, turning every lesson into a 'groupdiscussion'...

The school in itself is for upper-class children. Discussion and openmindedness is not the key-word. On top of that, the parents don't care about their sons. This situation has turned against me. I tried to do too much and be too much, I guess. I failed.

Today, two of them were almost physically threatening me

in our school system ..if this happens the law is called without delay and the students are suspended if not expelled from school

same goes for physical "fights" between any students

we have a zero tolerence "Bully" project here

Icicle said:

Seriously, all these things have been tried. I'm a very positive teacher, trying to keep discussions open at any time. With 95 % percent of the pupils that's the reason why they like me and I like them, but there's another 5 % that is just not mature enough to handle it.

They're really very harsh. There's this one girl in this classroom. She's a bit plump (but not fat), rather silent and has a poetic soul. Very insecure.

These boys had put a picture of a fat lady on the blackboard and had written 'Timna (the girl) naked' under it.

I wasn't there, but I saw in her eyes she was horrified. To give you an example.

Mach said:

They already have been suspended, for different reasons. Their suspension was just another triumph.

As I said, one of the boys' parents never show up. They have been wanting to expell him, but pupils are really protected by the law, many steps have to be taken before that's officially possible.

Would you like me and Aksel the org heavies to come stand at the back of the class and put the shits up em?

mdiver said:

*swings her baseball bat*


I can break kneecaps

MarieLouise said:

Thats horrible,they need to be sent to an alternative school

mdiver said:

I must confess this idea is rather appealing today.

I have a very impressive boyfriend who has the same reaction. Not sure if that would help though.

MarieLouise said:

Yes it would

Mach said:

Yeah lets go protect Marielouise

mdiver said:

maybe that would cure my migrain

some random violence

they are involved with school sports? does their bad behavior/grades/suspensions have any effect on their sports? In my school, anything less than a C got you suspended from the team...anything failing classes got you kicked off the team, any school punishments such as suspensions and what not...got you either suspended or kicked of the team. If sports are important to them..this may be an avenue that will curb their behavior. but I doubt it.

Be sure not to hit the nuns, though.



You see them once in a while, wandering through the corridors. looking bewildered at today's youth.

Shorty said:

I guess there's a huge difference between the USA and Europe in this aspect. Every students has two hours of sports, every week. No honour to be gotten there. They can do sports on other hours, if they like that, but these guys don't.

No cheerleaders to rescue me either. Just nuns.

Mach said:

Let's have an Onze Lieve Vrouw Presentatie-invasion in Belgium.

(the school is named after the Virgin. Really ironic.)

MarieLouise said:

huh...so it's more for just physical education or fitness? You do have regular team sports though? they are just not into those?
for the record...we do have a "gym" class or PE (physical education) classes that are required also.